Skin & Cells.

“I am having a migraine.”

 

If I said this to anyone right now, I’d probably get ten different solutions for it, from using medications and meditations to gulping down tablets and going off to sleep for a while. I’d get people telling me that it will probably go away soon, that it was because of the stress that I was going through or people giving me the kind of compassion that I probably don’t even deserve. But I know, I would. You would too. Because migraine is a kind of headache, a physical ache and for ages now, we have come to accept this as a nominal if not a common illness.

 

The same goes for any other physical ailment that human body could go through. We have all been accustomed to the fact that as a tangible form, we humans will go through headaches, heartaches, stomachaches, broken limbs… well, the list goes on and you probably get the gist of it.

 

But what most humans don’t get or have not readily accepted is the fact that as humans we have our minds working for us, and almost always it works non stop. Our mind, our thoughts are a part of our bodies, just as our heads and heart is. And if that mind goes through a transformation, or an illness, it is just as natural. Mental health and the talk of it, is just as natural!!

 

Only, the problem lies in the fact that even in 2020, it is still associated with various kinds of stigma which prevent people from speaking and talking about the problem with the kind of openness which comes freely for appendicitis or stomach ulcers. In as few words as possible, all I can say is mental health is normal. It is not a choice. But it should also not in any way stigmatized.

 

World health Organisation states, “One in four people in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their lives.” And while there are people who take this as seriously as we should, most of us don’t consider it as an issue. The neglect is universal.

 

At the same time I should state that there are treatments, various kinds of it, but the stigma, discrimination and the neglect always overpowers the issue. And most of them never seek professional help.

 

So, the first step in improving the condition is accepting the situation and the people as they are. If someone looks unhealthy, not just physically it becomes the responsibility of a fellow human to check on him. Even if one can’t do much for the other person, it always helps when you are kind to them and reserve your judgmental eyes for some other reincarnation.

 

Be happy! And make others happy!

 

Most of us try to find so many reasons to be unhappy, but if we just tried, one small step at a time we could bring a change. We could be kind, compassionate and try and share that one partial smile. We could turn a frown into a laughter, yet unknown.

 

Remember an unhappy person makes an unhappy society.

 

And a failure to adapt to the situation, or make it better with ways we can; we fail as a society. And I don’t think an unhappy society with innumerable failures is what we can be proud of, ever!

 

Posies: Available For Pre-order

I don’t know how to say this. But I think I did it. See, how skeptic I still sound of myself? But that is how it is and you if you are still around my blog after an absence of eternity almost after every post, I know you will still go ahead and read this.

 

Believe me, I am not taking you guys for granted but I have been so overwhelmed by the things going around that I did not know what to do, or how to do it. In my last post I was still lost and wandering, I think I still am. However, with all the wandering and wondering I have gone ahead and done this one tiny thing, called ‘POSIES’.

 

Now, what is Posies? ‘POSIES’, my friends, is a collection of poetry that I bled through the entire last year. Now you might know that I had been writing poetry all through the year. 2019 became the year for writing poems. I don’t even know how it started, but one thing led to another (you know what I mean) and then there I had it, a determined thought to write poems every single day of the year.

 

It wasn’t easy. I had days when I asked myself, why was I even doing it? Then there were days when I wanted to tear my own skin. And then there were days that soothed me so much when I wrote down even a short four-line stanza and termed it as poetry. It was worth it, is all I can say. That said, I know not all of them are worth publishing, leave publishing, I don’t think they should even go on my blog. But I did think that there were a select few, however simple, however mundane, that came out of my heart, which I needed to say, a few thoughts that I wanted to be known and read.

 

I know none of us have been intimidated by quantities. So the number of poetries doesn’t matter. What matters, is I have been silent for far too long, and I have a voice now. I want to say things. I want you to feel what one might feel. I want to be read.

 

So, I started drawing out a few works of mine as December started and edited them, re-edited them, re-re-edited them. I worked on them so much that I started hating my own work, wondering if at all I should go and publish something like this. And before I could quit, I started searching for the process of publishing a book and told a couple of my friends what I was doing.

 

I got appreciated, I got the kind of help and support I needed. One of them even went ahead and said, ‘Finally’ probably meaning that finally I was thinking about a book of mine, or even probably that finally I had the courage to do it. Who can tell, I didn’t push.

 

But yes, after that I did not think of quitting. Yes, it was overwhelming and doing something that I had no idea about, trying to make my dream come true, working on something with people of all kinds was indeed torturing to some extent. But I did it. I reached out to people and friends who had done this before, books, e-books, publsihers, cover selection, editors, and marketers. There were a lot of terms, and a lot of area where I had no clue as to what to do.

 

So, I took baby steps, doing one thing after another. And I know I have still made mistakes, probably more than I know now. But I did it, and I cannot tell you how it felt when I sent the last email, finalizing everything, knowing that whatever I could do, I have done. And even far greater feeling was the one when I saw that the e-book was done and ready; live for pre-order on a lot of parts in this world, the feeling of knowing that if someone ever picks up my book, my voice will be far and beyond, making people think. I don’t know what to say. So perhaps, I should stop talking. I will only say that my first book titled ‘POSIES’ is available for pre-order on amazon. And the paperbacks are hopefully coming soon.

 

Below is the link to my book:

 

 

I will sign off today by saying that a writer is nothing without the reviews and criticism she gets. So, if at all you get around to reading my book, do let me know how you feel about it.

 

Also, excuse my all my recent and a few of future posts for being all about my book. But it is the only thing important to me now, that is the only thing happening, this is the only dream I have ever wanted to be labeled as an author somewhere, even if five people read it and all of them tell me it is just another worthless book.

The Wait For Spring.

Warning: This is going to be pretty long. Proceed and get bored at your own risk!

 

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I should probably start with wishing new years to all of you, but I am sure that I am very late for that, very very late. So, shall I just go ahead and ask you if you have reached that point of the year, when you have started feeling that you are probably wasting this year too, and that even this year your resolutions are going to go down the drain, or better still, all the optimisms and the thought that this is going to be your year has slowly been washing out of your system? I am certain, that I am probably late for even that question!

 

Yes, I am extremely late for almost everything now, may be even writing a blog post too. For all I know, everyone whom I knew has already gone away and I might not even hear from you guys anymore. Agreed! I have been away, for far too long. And perhaps this is the most that I have been away from my blog, and stopped writing since I have started writing here, since the time Aesthetic Miradh exists. But I just didn’t have the energy, the courage, or the will to write anything. I just didn’t. It couldn’t have been a writers’ block, I am sure of that, it was something more than that! Words didn’t leave me, I still had those conversations with myself, those dull drab uninteresting posts were there, but those were only in my head. I lacked something, or may be I was just being lazy!

 

I have been staring at my computer screen for quite long now, and it has taken more than I can tell to even write these useless words so far. I have been booting my computer for the past few days, staring at the blank screen for a while, drinking cups of tea/coffee/hot chocolate one after the other, (not necessarily all in the same day) and yet I wrote nothing. Daily, I switched on the computer, and after a while, switched it off. It went on for a few days but today, I am finally writing here (hopefully posting too), but what am I exactly writing, I am unsure of. What I am sure of is, I am cent percent going to bore you by the end, and you might not even know why I wrote this, or in all probability why did you even read this?

 

So, what have I been up to? (Yeah, Moushmi, now is this becoming your daily journal? No one is interested in knowing what you have been up to!) Unlike my writing life, everything else hasn’t been stagnant. Well, life kept moving on, but I don’t know if have matched pace with it. Things have been happening. Work has been piling. To- read books have been stacking, so basically everything has been hoarded so far, so much so that I can’t see beyond it.

 

There was one respite though, the only thing that I kept looking up to everyday. 2019 was the year when I planned on writing a poem a day. Now, that sounded interesting and so fulfilling to me initially too, and I waited expectantly to write poems everyday, one after the other. It wasn’t easy, of course. And I sometimes pulled at my own head as to find any new ideas. Not that my ever-cribbing and tame-less hair had any ideas in store, but I tried it all the same. I can definitely not boast of these poems now, not when I know that not all of them are unique and certainly do not stand out. But what exactly is unique. Even the sentence that I just wrote, “But what exactly is unique.” Must have been repeated millions of time through millions of seconds. But I am still not going to boast about them, because I know, while the quantity of the poems is overwhelming, the quality is definitely not!

 

When I started writing these poems, I had in mind of being a published poet, if not a writer soon. But now that I have them, I am just being and doing what I always do. Being a certified lazy coward. I have a set of poems drawn out of the herd, and I did start editing them and I did look into the matter of publishing, but it all became too overwhelming, and I chickened out. But I haven’t exactly dropped out the idea; I am still looking into the matter only I don’t know what and how to do. People have given me suggestions. Some motivated me, some not so much. But I am still nowhere. Believe me, I have read about it, researched it, so much so that now it feels I should just go ahead and publish it already. I have come across so many new published writers, some have been of help, while some just competitive. I was initially surprised at how much our times have to offer, in terms of publication too. I mean yes, there is the traditional method of publishing, but there are so many other options too. And so- so many new, encouraging and even emerging publishers for new writers. But that is where it became too overwhelming and for once I thought, what the hell, I will just go and self publish it myself. It is not like it’s a great book or something. They are just poems, it is a small dream. May be I will make mistakes with my first book; I am bound to. But I have made mistakes in the past, and I am sure I will make them in the future too; only I hope I will not repeat them. We will see how that turns out. No saint, I am!

 

I do not have any resolutions for 2020 yet, and seeing that we are already down almost two months of the year, I might give up on it altogether. But I do have a certain idea. Wow, I am not even sure if it is an idea at all. It could turn into a series of short stories, or it could be a short novella, but then again, I keep wondering if I have that kind of discipline in me to start writing, and even if I do write, what is to happen of those boring sheets? Stay useless, may be?

 

Writing happens or not, I am sure I will be reading a lot this year. I am sure of that. I took up the goodreads challenge and all, of finishing up hundred books a year. I didn’t plan on it last year, but I still managed 79 books in 2019, and I would have completed a hundred too, had I not stopped reading altogether in the last few months of the year. This year, I plan on reading more. Not only quantity, but I mean to look into quality too, leaving behind all those books that don’t add up to anything. We’ll see how that goes too! Who knows, I end up only talking!

 

My friend Mr. Coffee Hater comes often and we have our usual nonsensical banter always, but that’s a ramble for later. So that is that! I think I should stop talking, if at all someone is listening. And if you are, I want to know what you have been up to? I am sure I have been missing out on a lot of things. Tell me what you are reading? 😉 Okay, tell me what have you been doing? As for me, I think I have I have been sipping iced coffee in winters, and reading Rumi. (Look at that me reading Rumi!) And it is still winters here, chilly, freezing winters. All I am doing is waiting for spring! I think I am just waiting for spring!!

 

 

Her Mysterious Meshuga.

Hey folks, I hope you all are doing fine. I know I have been away for a long time, but I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can. Till then I am very pleased to share another poem of mine that has been published at Spillwords, a place where words matter. I sent them this piece a while back and was not even expecting them to revert back. However a couple of days ago I was notified that the poem is going to be published soon. And as always, I was elated to see my name in print.

I share below the link to the poem:

Her Mysterious Meshuga

Also, please be patient with me. I will be back to all my favourite writers. I, honestly, cannot wait to get lost in the magic of your words.

Her Altruistic Mien.

Poetry has been a consistent part of my life, first reading and then writing. Though if someone would have said that I could try writing poems, a year back, I would have rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, right!” Not that I have become very confident of my pieces, but I have come as far as trying to share them and be judged.

A few days back one of my poems got published in The Indian Periodical titled The Sea and today I am back with another of my poems which has been accepted for publication in an online magazine called Merak. I am thrilled. Not that I am suddenly very confident of what I am doing with these poems, but I am happy.

I am sharing the link to the poem below. Though some of my readers would have read it as a part of NAPOWRIMO which was again an amazing ride, I will be eager to hear from you about the piece.

Her Altruistic Mien

Book Review: The Last Huntsman

BOOK DETAILS:
The Last Huntsman
By Page Morgan
Publication date: September 9th, 2019
Genres: Fantasy, Young Adult

Description:

No women. No children. No torture. The Huntsman has his rules.

For years, Tobin has done his emperor’s bidding, eliminating threats to the Empire of Morvansk. But when he is ordered to kill the lovely Princess Mara, Tobin’s absolute loyalty ends. The emperor’s punishment is swift and lethal, and Tobin is left with only one desire: vengeance.

Stay quiet. Stay hidden. Stay free. These are the rules Ever lives by.

Raised as a boy by her overprotective father, Ever has something the Morvansk emperor covets: mirror magic. With it, she can see anyone, anywhere, through the mirror’s glass. The emperor stole her mother years ago for this same magic, and now, he wants Ever, too.

When Ever’s mirror shows the wounded rebel huntsman approaching her village, she’s compelled to help him. But as Tobin and Ever grow closer, and their secrets intertwine, they’ll have to follow the rules they’ve always lived by—or break free from them, once and for all.

The Last Huntsman is in one word amazing. It has mystery, it has magic and it has a little bit of romance. I loved this book and if I weren’t greedy I would have given it a full five stars. But I am greedy, and I would want the character of Ever to have evolved a little more. She is portrayed as a head strong, defiant girl but I still wanted her character to have shown some more colours in the end. She has the courage; only it could have been portrayed with a little more fervour. The huntsman on the other hand comes out very well. His strength, his weaknesses every aspect of his deceptive character slowly unravels before you and you will fall in love with it.

 

What more? The magic isn’t too much. It is simply an aspect of the book and most of it was believable. The book is fast paced and proves to be an excellent light read, nothing too serious.

 

I received an ACR of the book and I am sure that I was one of the few readers who got to read it before its publications. I think this would prove to be a good read for those who like fiction and have the nerve to believe in magic.

 

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The Thing About Boys & Men.

I am bored. I mean not that I don’t have anything to do, but I am just bored. Bored with stressful working, with useless studying, with meeting deadlines, with assignments, with reading, with writing, practically everything. So I keep finding new things to do. Now, I haven’t been very successful with it, but I think I am obligingly eating people’s head with my tantrums. But I guess I am so bored that I get bored with that too. And hence, I keep finding things like reading short biographies of inspiring authors, what they have done, listening to music I have never heard before or going out to new places. Now, that last thing that I said is more useless than the word ‘useless’ can signify. Living in such a small city comes with its dirth of new and exciting places to go to. So, I am left to be doing only two things, reading and ranting. I could say I am just writing but I know my writing is not writing, it’s only a rant, a cribbing rant with no solutions which a set of very few loyal friends will read and tell me that it is not a rant and they liked it, but I know better than their kindness.

Just one such rant, actually, a very furious rant with a failed attempt of humor was written after an impulsive decision and was mailed without any eidting. I regretted it the minute I sent it. Honestly, I did. But very surprisingly, the local supplement of Times of India weren’t offended by my rant and they published the column all the same.

I am happy.

Today, I am not bored.

I am sharing the picture below.

Because today I am not bored.

I will rant and keep you bored.

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Cogito Ergo Sum. ["I think Therefore I am"]

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