Were you not a girl, Mamma?

Posted byMoushmi RadhanparaPosted inWomen -as we are!Tags:, , , , , , ,

This is the first article/story I ever wrote which was published during my initial college days and hence it is very dear to me apart from various other reasons. Hope you like it too and is worth your time.

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Ah! This is such a beautiful sight I am observing. These two girls looking so happy with each other, hand in hand going round in the rose garden, playing with each other totally lost in their enjoyment and devoid of any troubles as it seems.

I feel so happy to see this, to adore such a lovely sight, to imagine that, someday I’ll be there with one of my close friends or my sister or my brother. By the way will I have any brother or sister mamma? Or do I have any who is waiting for me expectantly?

Someday I’ll be there enjoying this austere and beautiful garden of roses where I am planning to play, it’s marvellous appearance and its capturing smell is so, so strong that I wish to be there now. But I think that it’s not good for me at present. For the time I should be here, quiet, and safe inside your womb, mamma. It is too early for me to come out, right?

I desperately wish to see you mamma. I want to see my family, my house where I will be. I want to see this life which everyone wishes to. Though I have heard a lot about the sufferings of the life, I earnestly wish to live it, experience it, and to test my capabilities of experiencing it. I want to have friend’s mamma, I want to have a family. No not one I’ll have two families like you mamma. Someday I’ll also have a husband like you have as my father and after some more days I may also be a mother like you. It seems so interesting but for now this thought is quite early, very early in fact. There are too many years but yet to pass.

I want to study mamma I want to gain knowledge and under your guidance I will hopefully have a good idea of art too. You’ll teach me no mamma?

I feel so obliged to be gifted a life. I feel so special warmth inside me when you touch your womb and with a sensation of care and delight you say “it is so special a feeling my child to have you inside me and it fills me with so much of happiness when I imagine you to call me a mother” I want you to be my friend, philosopher and guide. I want you to guide me throughout my life mamma! I hope you will, I know you will. You are so kind dear!!

But for now may I please request you to go home mamma? The garden is becoming so cold and it is getting very dark too. Please, let us go towards home mamma I am feeling so cold and you must also be feeling so? You must take care of yourself mamma or else granny will scold you! By the way how is granny mamma?

Thank you for proceeding towards home mamma. You are so kind! You are so caring! I love you mamma. I know you will take care of me so tenderly when I come to you, Just as this girl wearing a white dress is looking after you in this ‘WHITE CABIN’ but where are we mamma? This is probably not our house. It is totally white. People here are totally in white. And why are they making you sleep in such a small bed? You need to be comfortable you won’t be at any ease here. You will suffer here, you will be uncomfortable here. Please listen to me or else I’ll complain to granny and she’ll definitely scold you.

See you are already restless! Get up mamma, get up! It is already hurting you.

But now it is hurting me too. What is this mamma? What is happening? What are they doing to you? Why are you crying?

They are hurting me mamma. They are hurting me. It is so painful. Complain! I pray you to complain to them. You are so cruel mamma. I do not want to go mamma. I want to live. I want to see this life.

God!

Forbid…

Stop! Have pity on me.

I want to live mamma. I want to live. I want to come out of you. Why are you hurting me and yourself?

Oh! God! Look! Please!

They are cutting me, my legs, hands, they were so very small. They are thrashing it, smashing it. They are cutting me into pieces mamma. Ah! It’s no more hurting me mamma, it’s paining now. And I am speechless of your act and breathless because of this pain. You have killed me mamma. You have killed me. How could you do this mamma? How could you?

Just because I was a girl you killed me? Is being girl a sin? What did I do or what I would have done to trouble anyone? Why did you not allow me to enter the world? But if this world is such, where people kill their own blood I am lucky enough to not be there with you all.

My life annihilates just within three months but at least it was a peaceful one, not like yours comprising a sin. A sin, to kill an innocent!

I would merely ask you a question mamma I was a girl and you killed me. But were you not a girl mamma? Had you been in my place how would have you felt?

And here I die without making any difference to anyone.

Are girls so useless mamma?

Published by Moushmi Radhanpara

A bilingual writer, Moushmi Radhanpara has authored three poetry collections so far, namely POSIES and 03:21 AM –An Ode to Rust & Restlessness, and Resignation of an Angel. She is also scribbling an unplanned rough draft of a story as a part of NANOWRIMO 2020 and hopes that something might come out of it. She has also co-authored two books, The Lockdown Stories and Mirage so far. Her poetries can be found on her blog https://aestheticmiradh.com/ and a few other online portals. She believes in the fact that a better reader makes a better writer. Reading a 100 books a year is her latest obsession. She can be found either drunk on coffee or hiding away from everything and admiring the gorgeous sun.

47 thoughts on “Were you not a girl, Mamma?”

      1. Totally agreed ,the world is changing .Women are growing ,evolving but still the real world which stays behind the global social media ,which staus on the streets ,in the lazy ,sleepy small towns.It’s all just the same , and we can only claim to changed or evolved only when the development or mentality change touches to those hiddrn lanes too .

        Liked by 3 people

      2. That is absolutely true, and I don;t see that happening in near future,
        Cause just yesterday I was talking to a friend who was literally crying because her family members bothered her as she was wearing shorts and skirts. And when she would not listen to them she was regarded as “badtameez”.
        I mean seriously we live in this society?!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. And that bengaluru incident ,where girls were harassed on road.And you won’t believe what the chief minister had to say.”western wears are responsible for the incidents like this.”

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I mean then why aren’t men harassed on the streets when they roam around pot midnight wearing shorts? when men do it it is acceptable but when women do it it is disregarding..
        seriously we need to grow up!!

        Like

  7. Very powerful Moushmi! I had no idea where the narrative was going and then what a shock. I had the distinct feeling that the mother did not want to lose her girl but was as much a victim of a sexist social order as the child. We all lose in this situation. Great story.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much dear.
      I am just so glad that this was appreciated. I have no more words on this than I have already spoken.
      I have seen these sexist social order through my eyes and have gone through some of them and all I can say is “I keep fighting against it, at least I try.”
      Thank you once again.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  11. It’s girls that have made their existence (the existence of this man dominated society) possible,so they surely deserve respect. If girls exist then only you exist unless there is no chance. Beautifully crafted this emotional piece. Thanks Moushmi for sharing this!❤❤❤❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  12. Pingback: Were you not a girl, Mamma? – Trixy'z Site
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  14. Hi,
    You are a great writer. This was beautifully written. You moved to me with your words. I agree with what people here wrote. You moved me to sadness.
    Congratulations on being Danny Ray’s featured blogger. I was his featured blogger also. Maybe you can check out my blog if you need a blogging tip or two.
    Janice

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  15. This is your first post that I am reading. And without any doubt, that follow button has to be clicked. 🙂
    Not only the concept, but the whole narration was so gripping that I couldn’t take my eyes off it till the end. The title is apt too. Overall, this writing definitely deserved to be published in your college magazine, and why only there? At a lot other places. With a bit of cleansing from the grammatical point-of-view, this would turn out to be one of the perfect readings. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. This was really heart-wrenching. It was indeed a painful story. The writing was damn powerful and emotive. I was still struggling with my anger after writing the post, and then I read this!
    Really a pain man!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Yes, it is a pain.
      And whatever reason you have, it can never satisfy the need to kill a person. Never if you are doing this only because you know she is a girl child!!!
      I hope you feel better soon. I know it’s gonna take time.
      Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Your perception holds importance for me.

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