As the summers have hit, I lumber across the huge and insanely deep waters in the mornings almost everyday. It is so relishing, so relaxing that I can’t even to begin explain how I feel then.
Well, who am I kidding, I know exactly how I feel, because it isn’t the oceans that I am bathing in. I am in a small pool under a very beautiful canopied roof.
But the idea seems enticing, oh, the idea of having and living beside the ocean. (This keeps gawking at me, the idea and my past. I miss living near that raving ocean.)
So, coming back to today, when I am drenched in those chlorinated waters, barely neck deep and yet trying, putting my efforts in a vain attempt to swim; I savour and enjoy what I have instead of crying over the past which can’t be in my present. Yes, there I was, glorifying myself, basking under the shaded warmth, drinking in the morning chills of the freshwater, awarding myself an imaginary trophy for choosing the time when I could avoid the thing that I always want to, people. It is peaceful, and I am just glad that I don’t have to make fake pleasantries or even fabricated efforts of trying to make any kind of conversation. It is soothing.
The irony lies in the fact that I can’t swim. Believe me, every year it is on my list, to learn how to swim. But there are excuses always. It starts with skin and hair issues, then it is sometimes followed by busy schedules, followed by my laziness. And some of the years I just am not in one particular place, preventing me from this little thing which I have been wanting to do since childhood. No, I am not scared of water, I love playing in it, playing with it, playing all over it 😉
They say some people are ‘hills people’, some on the other hand are ‘oceans and lake people’, I consider myself to be a ‘Nature person’. Yeah, you can refer to me as one of the Romantics who is always in awe of hills, mountains, trees, sky, oceans, rainbow……….
But the problem. Yes the problem lies in the fact that my love for nature never wins over the other reasons of not learning how to swim. (Lazy me; Accepted guilt)
So, there I was like a small kid flapping and waving my hands in that water (the lack of people helped me bring out that carefree child in me) instead of literally swimming. I was dead sure of not crossing the 5ft mark on the corners, as if I would never know that I can’t feel the pool beneath me. But just to be sure, that my dwarfish height does not submerge beneath the level, I did not cross it.
The second irony lies in the fact that I was almost drowned despite my careful analysation of the height level. As much as it sounds funny to me now, at that point of time, I thought I almost died 😀
At one point in my ineffectual attempts of swimming I got tired (Look at my laziness) and decided to relax against the sides of the pool. And I paid for it instantly. Why did I have to go there? I saw someone from the corner of the eyes, and to avoid that person I shifted a little making myself closer to my doom for the day.
All of a sudden my left heel pulled inside of something, the pull was so strong that I lost my balance completely. And then it dawned on me that I was standing right ahead of one of the suction outlets. What was I supposed to do then?
I had lost my balance, I had lost all my little stamina too in that one hour of childish play in that pool, and I was being pulled forcefully inside something, inside which my leg would probably not fit, despite which my leg was wanted!
I was trying to pull myself out, snatching myself, grabbing my feet, but it wouldn’t budge. This kept on for a few minutes which certainly seemed like eternity. I was underwater now with no balance, no breaths left, flapping about, almost battling with that pool and desperately attempting to free myself. After a while I could feel myself struggling even to breathe and a certain kind of pain started stabbing me in my heels, I don’t know if the pain was from that continuous suction or from the fact that I was pulling myself away incessantly.
After a while I gave up.
I almost started drinking that chlorinated water. I thank that it was only almost and then I threw it up. Realisation dawned on me that there was absolutely no one around, the pool was empty and if I didn’t do anything soon, I’ll probably be left there unless someone finds me struggling underneath.
I let go off my feet and came up, as much I could at that level, and swallowed air like a hungry animal. And then I saw that, literally, there was no one around. When I came in there were certainly few people there, but I guess not everyone loses themselves in the spur of the moment and bask in the glory of getting to their work late, almost every second day.
The next suction was so strong, I thought that not only my feet would get in, but my whole body would be drawn in. Oh, the dramatic me!!
I went in one final time with certainty that I cannot let myself wait for someone to come and rescue me, I had to do something, but my audacity came crumbling down as soon as I went in and lost my balance again.
But this time, I could not let it go. I held onto my feet tightly and with my other leg pushed myself against the sides of the pool. And with one final pull, and push I was out and free.
I rolled inside the waters a little but thankfully I was pushed towards the 4ft level and I could stand up, finally breathing, raspily. I clambered out of the pool instantaneously and just when I came out, there was a small group of people heading towards me. They definitely eyed me for sitting there sulkily and in a very awkward demeanor. But who cared?
I hurried out, not even glancing back towards that pool!
Now that i think of it, it sounds funny to me, that a small suction outlet pulled me inside and gave me half an inch deep cut in my feet. But in that moment, I was frantic!!
Well, I was ready to let go. What if I had let go? I didn’t know how to swim, what would have happened?
I kept struggling, and I realise now that sometimes we need to keep fighting that one last battle. As always I might be reading too much into things, but that’s who I am, we got to deal with it. I accept not everything is in our hands, and sometimes to let go is the best alternative, but sometimes, it is worth fighting for. May be, may be that one last battle could make you win.
Anyways, so this year I get another reason for not going swimming. My cut in that stupid feet is deep and it burns, really bad. I wouldn’t dare to think of it submerged in that water. And by the time it might heal, I have my exams coming up, so we’ll see about swimming maybe next year 😉