Heart! Mind! Or a Grammar Nazi?

Most of the time when I write or post something, it gets confused for being true. Well, sometimes it is and sometimes it is a part of my delusion or imagination. Whatever be it, imagination or truth there is one thing that keeps getting in my way, which is whether to write it with my heart at hand or with my mind. This dilemma between heart and mind is constant, not for me alone but for almost everyone. And it is true to writing too, that when it comes to a battle between heart and mind there is absolutely no one who can win.

If you think with your heart your mind loses but if you consider things with your mind your heart loses. There is nothing new here, right?

But there is a set pattern I have noticed in myself, in my writings precisely. Going through my past posts and or certain unpublished pieces I realised that when I have written with rationality the pieces are fine, but when I have my emotions out, I make mistakes as silly as no one who knows proper grammar will make.

Yesterday going through one of my posts, I remembered a long lost incident from my school. When I was in my early school days my English teacher used to make sure that we made no grammatical errors in our grammar paper, for this she would go to really great extremes, so much, as when we made a certain mistake we would have to write it on a sheet of paper at least 50 times. Writing that correct sentence for so many times, I don’t think anyone would make that mistake again. One such time even I had written sentences like, “No sooner did….” And “I didn’t know….”  For 50 times so that I would never make that mistake again. And that is how I remember even today how the tenses work.

But when yesterday I was reading one particular post where my heart was literally put out into words, I realised that I had lost sense of grammar and I had literally gone as far as writing, “I didn’t knew.” (I am ashamed!)

If my English teacher would read that today, she would laugh at me till her cheeks would hurt. First she wouldn’t even believe that I could write that, and then if she would have believed it, finally, then she would certainly laugh at my callousness, and loss of my sanity.

So we go to such extremes, isn’t it, when our hearts are not in their places? Or should I say when our minds are not in our places?

Can there ever be equilibrium when it comes to the matters of heart? Can we ever rationalise things or we are for ever to be acting as the lost ones when we just cannot chose between our hearts and minds?

Published by Moushmi Radhanpara

A bilingual writer, Moushmi Radhanpara has authored three poetry collections so far, namely POSIES and 03:21 AM –An Ode to Rust & Restlessness, and Resignation of an Angel. She is also scribbling an unplanned rough draft of a story as a part of NANOWRIMO 2020 and hopes that something might come out of it. She has also co-authored two books, The Lockdown Stories and Mirage so far. Her poetries can be found on her blog https://aestheticmiradh.com/ and a few other online portals. She believes in the fact that a better reader makes a better writer. Reading a 100 books a year is her latest obsession. She can be found either drunk on coffee or hiding away from everything and admiring the gorgeous sun.

36 thoughts on “Heart! Mind! Or a Grammar Nazi?

  1. Weird Al has a funny video regarding grammar. I think you would like it. I love poetry but I am not great with remembering the grammar rules. As far as writing from emotion, I have a theory that we write closer to how we speak when emotional.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ha ha.. you never fail in bringing smile on face when going through your posts.
    “Hamare bihar me angrezi ati ho ya na ho.. par likhte waqt koi grammatical mistake na ho, ye pehli shart bana di jati hai teachers dwara” that mental trauma still haunts me.. and still I do lots and lots of mistakes… 😊😊 My poor angrezi

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha…well said!!! i can truly understand this dilemma and it happens so often for sense of tenses to get lost while heart is in full flow!! But that’s the way it is! Important thing is to let it all out that is in heart while it’s in full flow and then later on correct the grammar…that’s what i do. Being a grammar nazi myself can understand how painful it’s to see oneself committing silly mistakes 😖 this happens while writing comments often and many times due to typos (mobile keyboard!) or autocorrects! i also remembered the words of my English teacher who once said that even if we become old and get married and if he ever caught us saying something like ‘i didnt knew’ …he would slap us in front of wife and children 😂 that threat comes alive each time i make any such mistake!! 😂 i dont know how many mistakes I committed in this long comment already! 🙈
    Btw i do notice that you read your old posts again and find mistakes!! I thought i was the only one who did this 😄
    PS: very interested in those ‘unpublished’ stuffs as well! 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha. I am glad that I wrote this post, I am enjoying reading everyone’s old times tales.
      Thanks for sharing Sifar.
      And about those unpublished stuff, well those are going to be unpublished for ever and for ever. (SSSHHHHHHH TOP SECRET!!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Keep enjoying! 😀
        Now you are letting my curiosity hit the roof regarding unpublished stuff!!! 😣 what can be done to read it?!!!! 🤔 mail me? 😃

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No Sifar. That is something too dark for me, which I have left it in the past, very painstakingly, but I have, so I want it to be in the ‘unpublished folder’ only. Never in any other form.
        Besides it is to naive and raw, never really went and edited it. Just simply talking.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I know what you are talking about and how it would be simple talking only but can also imagine how that would be purely raw emotions! Undiluted!! Something similar which i also keep somewhere….sorry to bring it up then in case it made you go through the pains again…! Didnt want to be pushy! Keep them safe! Or maybe just destroy them? 🤔 if it’s so painful…erase from mind as if it never existed! Or are you keeping then as a reminder or lesson learnt?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I don’t know why am I keeping them. But I am pretty sure I don’t want to destroy them, not now, or not ever.
        That is a part of my life, a part of who I am. It made me who and how I am today and I will like it to be with me, may be as a lesson, or may be as a long forgotten past. But I want it all the same. good or bad,

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Ok i get it…just like how we keep few things safe with us which we know we will never see again or dont want to see them again but still keep them for an unknown satisfaction that yes it’s here! For no reason but still…
        I sometimes feel that the things which may become reason behind my pain in future should better be disposed of now when i can otherwise it will become hard for me to throw them away later…so now i try not to keep any such bad memories…even though they were a part of me…it’s like a bad wound which threatens the whole body, the whole existence and to get rid of it a limb is amputated and thrown away to save the rest of the body…..it pains…a lot! But is ultimately needed for recovery….

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Haha…I was very bad with this, I still am. In school I used to frame a sentence in mind and if it sounds good that time I know its good to go Haha silly me but luckily I was still one of the fav students of my eng Teacher

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am not that good at English Grammar. And I have had a very embarrassing instance with this “I didn’t knew” thing. So, I was chatting with my online crush in gtalk one day several years ago and at some point I wrote “I didn’t knew” and in a micro second realized my mistake. The guy I was talking to was a Grammar Nazi yet he didn’t point out my mistake but I was so embarrassed. I wanted to kill myself that very moment. I remember that day so well, though I have no idea what else we talked about.
    And I also check out my old posts and find so many mistakes and then I feel bad for being such a dumbass. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Both sides of the coin are there to guide us, otherwise with what would we compare so that we can ‘know’ its truth ❤
    I have fallen down many deep holes Moushmi, and there are more to come…but each will guide me home in their knowing. And I accept that ❤ 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. write from the heart and let grammar be damned!! 😉 rules? what rules??? seriously, a good balance is a good idea when writing. we all have our style. but most of all…just write!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The greatest writers have mastered the union of the heart and mind. In the blogging world, I see many stories filled with grammatical errors, but would never think to say anything to the author, because their heart is so pure and honest. That is what’s important.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I just like to call my errors ‘ To Err is Typo’ as I did in one of my posts when I misspelled and a friend informed me in a personal message. Sometimes it is just okay to not take our mistakes seriously, for after all we are human!

    Liked by 1 person

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