Fallen To This New Level!

Posted byMoushmi RadhanparaPosted inHuman Nature, It's how life is!, Ramblings of my mind.Tags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

I have fallen to this new stature

Cause, I have sat and done

Absolutely nothing despite being all alone.

 

I sat and stared

Stared at the dark wall,

Giving away ramifications of my past.

 

I sat; sat and stared at

I don’t know what,

Giving away only darkness.

 

I looked on at the wall

Thinking and rethinking

About I don’t even know what.

 

I have fallen to a new level

Cause I didn’t even realize

When the time ticked by

And it was no more the day,

I started thinking on.

 

I have fallen to this new level

Where I don’t even understand anything,

Where I have stopped feeling some things.

 

I sit and stare and think

Trying hard, very hard,

to only cry a very bit.

 

But I fathom,

I have fallen to a very new level

Where even crying seems to have

Gone away with a new fling

Drying my soul, not letting it brim.

 

I have fallen to this new depth this time

Cause I don’t even realize where I am.

Or how to climb up,

Or swim away.

Cause this time I don’t even reckon myself.

Cause this time, I don’t feel anything.

I sit and stare and think and the time keeps ticking

Trying to realize what I am even thinking,

But all I gather is I am at a new depth,

And now it is difficult to even keep climbing.

Difficult to even keep swimming.

 

I have fallen

And I keep falling,

I have drowned,

And I keep drowning.

I find a new level of

Nothingness,

Meaninglessness.

And I question myself

Where am I?

 

*

Never been good with poems, never been a poet. This is just a vain attempt as always, and as all my previous attempts to try and write in as limited words as possible, and to express as far and as truthfully I can.

Published by Moushmi Radhanpara

A bilingual writer, Moushmi Radhanpara has authored three poetry collections so far, namely POSIES and 03:21 AM –An Ode to Rust & Restlessness, and Resignation of an Angel. She is also scribbling an unplanned rough draft of a story as a part of NANOWRIMO 2020 and hopes that something might come out of it. She has also co-authored two books, The Lockdown Stories and Mirage so far. Her poetries can be found on her blog https://aestheticmiradh.com/ and a few other online portals. She believes in the fact that a better reader makes a better writer. Reading a 100 books a year is her latest obsession. She can be found either drunk on coffee or hiding away from everything and admiring the gorgeous sun.

38 thoughts on “Fallen To This New Level!”

  1. Poem is nothing but creative play of expressing your feelings..but more than poem..I feel it as honest attempt in which a person who was damaged in past..and how the person stopped feeling things and got numb to surroundings..and how he started loving darkness…this is Soo real..when I am reading this..I completely understood and completely relate to your poem

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  5. When a writer gets a feeling , a reader gets that too and its your very internal instinct, which you are exploring, not yet understood but you give yourself permission to feel them and that’s the best part. This will help you to cope…And to talk about being a poet, For me a poets work is to express and communicate and that you always do, amazingly well.

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  6. You want purpose…meaning…and the darkness of the night seems to last a long time. But a dawn is coming, so in the meantime find that purpose. What does your heart really want? Ask it, and step towards it ❤

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      1. As do you young lady. You also sit and ponder deeply, asking your heart for some direction when this world seems to continuously blind you with its many paths. But none seeming to have any meaning. Be loving to yourself first…then watch the gates open ❤

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  13. You don’t have to think you ain’t a poet of writing poems because this is exactly how poems are. It’s beautiful, and it gives an image with every line read. You literally make humans realise exactly what situation they hold ❤❤

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  15. Another poem! Such a natural and full of feelings which only a person with pain and existential crisis can write about! I feel numb as the state you described is more often what im in and yet i never thought of writing about it like you did!! A great attempt in highlighting those feelings during times when others would question what have you been doing all this while! And it’s hard to explain that i was doing nothing but just sitting and staring and then they would exclaim that is not possible! I cant describe how i feel now after reading this! Feeling a disturbing calm kind of! But i am worried about you now….hold yourself together!!

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Your perception holds importance for me.

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