When You Just Cannot Breathe!

I was strangled. A rope tied around my neck, the grip was getting tighter by the second, and my eyes were widening with the same force. Beads of sweat rolled from my forehead, to the corners of my cheeks, towards the chin falling onto my breasts, mingling with the musk beneath.


I tried to free my hands, my legs, but all I could do was to sway in motion on the floor, wriggling like a paralyzed dog. Then came the panic attack and I couldn’t breathe, I thought it was just an attack out of fear, but no I couldn’t breathe any more. My mouth was trying to tear through the duct tape- in vain kissing it. My eyesight was simply wading, I could barely see any more. People were coming in, finally coming in view, but just at that very moment my eyes gave in, my senses were crumbling. Legs were moving in front of me, I could see through the watery eyes, despite the blazing fury. I could listen to their heartfelt laughter, despite the wringing noise in my ears.

I kicked one last time, in vain.

I gripped my hands with the fingers through the rope, in vain.

I stomped, wriggled, in vain.

I craned my neck, in vain.

I breathed the last sigh, trying to relieve the pain, but in vain.

I strained to see, but all in vain.

I shut my eyes, falling deep, deep into the oceans of nothingness, uncertainty.

I was so choked up, I just couldn’t breathe, I lost all hope, surrendering to that uncertainty.

And just then I woke up, finally breathing again.

Published by Moushmi Radhanpara

A bilingual writer, Moushmi Radhanpara has authored three poetry collections so far, namely POSIES and 03:21 AM –An Ode to Rust & Restlessness, and Resignation of an Angel. She is also scribbling an unplanned rough draft of a story as a part of NANOWRIMO 2020 and hopes that something might come out of it. She has also co-authored two books, The Lockdown Stories and Mirage so far. Her poetries can be found on her blog https://aestheticmiradh.com/ and a few other online portals. She believes in the fact that a better reader makes a better writer. Reading a 100 books a year is her latest obsession. She can be found either drunk on coffee or hiding away from everything and admiring the gorgeous sun.

43 thoughts on “When You Just Cannot Breathe!

  1. I always look for the meanings of Dream. Sometimes it just nothing because its a impulse from brain and about memories and Sometimes of they give us sign relating to our lives, our theories and so on And I used to google about dreams and theories related to dreams and by that Suffocating in a dream refers to a struggle you are undergoing at the moment. Or it can be a sign that you are being overwhelmed by external forces. Being trapped are messages that we are stuck in our waking life and have an intense need to shift ourselves out of a limiting situation.

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  3. Oh God…this was too suffocating!!!! You described the situation so well and i could feel each emotion! I had experienced something similar once though i was awake and not in a dream…that was because of an anxiety attack triggered by depression! Hence i find it scary! Your writing is touching darker side now!! I hope this was fictional dream otherwise it’s so scary to have one like this!!!

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