The Last 5 Days!!

Posted byMoushmi RadhanparaPosted inIt's how life is!, Just when I don't know anything., My Reality MirrorTags:, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I simply don’t understand where the last 5 days went. Every second that I have lived of 13th to 17th August 2018 seemed like eternity and yet I say, I don’t know how it all went by. I am only happy that it is in the past, and I pray, truly from the bottom of my heart that no one, not even my darkest enemy has to go through what me and my family had to go through in these last days.

Before I say anything I will say a big THANK YOU to all of you here, for it was only your words that I was holding on to. All I had was words and prayers, apart from it, I was helpless. Nothing was in my hands, and I am thankful that everything is getting better. I am not breathing in peace yet, but it’s getting better.

I was away from my city, though in a known place.

I was away from everyone I know, but with my parents.

There were four other people we knew as close family members, with us. These few people are the ones whom we have helped under all circumstances in times of crisis. And I have seen true colors of these few people in these last few days.

In these last few days, I have seen unknown faces smiling at me. I have seen the painful eyes searching for my pain. I have seen the helplessness of people with and without money. I have seen the sympathy that people give each other when they know each one is dealing with their own share of trauma, physical or emotional. I have seen teary eyes, and painful smiles, I have seen the steps of a person walking with a heavy stone tied to his feet.

I have seen this and felt it first hand.

And I truly pray, for that is all I can do, that no one, no one should go through this ever in their lives.

I thought I knew what being alone was. And then I saw something what actually being alone meant. I faced something which I never did before, or which I never thought I would. My lack of knowledge in so many different matters pricked me constantly, and my fear for all the matters relating finance pierced through me. And above all my fear for my loved ones was shaken from the roots.

If anything good has come out of these past few days is only one thing, which is a lesson learnt. I always thought that people stand with each other only in good times, where as in times of crisis, they run away as fast as they can. And in the past few days, this belief was doubly confirmed. My parents have been there for everyone in crucial periods, but when they actually needed help, they were alone. ALONE and LONELY!!

My belief has been confirmed, and it can never change now, that only your parents and your brother/sister/husband/wife is going to be with you at any point of time in your life. No one else, however close you are to them, or however much you have been there for them, are not going to be with you.

I am sorry if this belief is one sided from my experience, but I have been through enough situations where I have been left alone, battling with situations without a sword.

You say this is making me strong?

But my friend, this is only making me weaker from my deeper insides. I am losing faith, inch by inch, my hopes are falling, drop by drop.

I am sorry but I just feel this way. Everything seems blurred, and I feel lost in a path to an unknown destination.

Anyways, I am thankful to all of you, even just for letting me know, that you are there, wherever you are, in which ever part of the country/earth you are.

 

Published by Moushmi Radhanpara

A bilingual writer, Moushmi Radhanpara has authored three poetry collections so far, namely POSIES and 03:21 AM –An Ode to Rust & Restlessness, and Resignation of an Angel. She is also scribbling an unplanned rough draft of a story as a part of NANOWRIMO 2020 and hopes that something might come out of it. She has also co-authored two books, The Lockdown Stories and Mirage so far. Her poetries can be found on her blog https://aestheticmiradh.com/ and a few other online portals. She believes in the fact that a better reader makes a better writer. Reading a 100 books a year is her latest obsession. She can be found either drunk on coffee or hiding away from everything and admiring the gorgeous sun.

41 thoughts on “The Last 5 Days!!”

      1. That’s true…but later on we’ll be thankful for this painful lesson as it will make us what we need to be.
        Hope for the best..I know you can😊

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  3. These lessons will stand you in good stead the next time, and all the times after that, when on behalf of yourself and of your loved ones it will be necessary for you to be able accurately to judge human character. Remember this: It’s always darkest just before the dawn. Everyone knows that, but not all remember that it is also coldest for a while just after it. Your face will lift again toward the sun. Please give your parents a hug from this reader and tell them one poet thinks they raised a very special writer. Bright blessings, my dear.

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  5. Hold on is all I will say. I know it’s hollow words for I can exactly relate to what you write and have been going through. Time my friend will ease away everything.

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  6. Sometimes we need a big shake to find ourselves inside again. Not everything is the color of roses in life but with will we can reverse the negative things. You will always have a helping hand that can solve your loneliness. May this weekend give you the necessary tranquility to smile at life.

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  7. Happy to hear you’re ok now. Even if you’re feeling hurt, broken and bitter now you would have come out stronger like a Phoenix from the ashes. May the power of words be with you and may you smile again…a more resilient smile!

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  8. I am so sorry for whatever has happened. I know no words will be enough but I do hope you become more stronger than weaker. I think expectation is biggest spoiler. Learn to be your help, your pain will be less. Stay blessed. Let us know if we can do anything

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    1. Thanks dear. You are already doing more than you can and more than I deserve.
      And I am thankful that it is getting better. (Fingers crossed)
      Also I would say that I don’t have expectations, from anyone, but when it was mistake to assume that family sticks together. My parents have been on their toes for anyone in our family, even at their own stakes, but when they needed help, we saw true colours. I am only ashamed at my assumptions, and also find it funny how much a person can become mean for his selfish reason.

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  9. I can feel the pain you feel in almost all the passages in this post, more so because of the unstructured, erratic way they have been written. Besides hoping again that things work out, I would also say it’s wrong to generalize especially when it comes to fellow human beings. They are unpredictable, ungrateful, revelations, and at times so magnanimous and hideous that you wonder if they are human.

    “and your brother/sister/husband/wife is going to be with you at any point of time in your life.” You might want to reconsider this generalization too.. sometimes friends (possibly strangers) provide solace that surpasses gods and their heavens

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    1. Thanks for the consolation.
      I am, myself in strong opposition of this generalisation, my friend.. But I have been in situations time and again, more than once, where I have been left alone by those with whom I was standing upright in any times of need.
      May be it is something with me, but this I simply cannot digest..

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    2. Thanks for the consolation.
      I am, myself in strong opposition of this generalisation, my friend.. But I have been in situations time and again, more than once, where I have been left alone by those with whom I was standing upright in any times of need.
      May be it is something with me, but this I simply cannot digest.

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      Reply

Your perception holds importance for me.

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