Confusional Emotions!!

How do emotions work?

Yeah, you heard me right, yes, I am asking about the workings of emotion. As simple as  it might sound to you, I am at a loss when it comes to it’s answer. How exactly do they work?

For most of the ‘normal people’ it works as laughter with happiness and a dam full of tears with sadness, rage with anger and confusion with bewilderment. And yet I fail to adapt to this very simple fact and working of a heart. This makes me wonder, do I even have a heart like any other normal person? Well, of course I have one, but surely it is ill-positioned and ill functioning. It is definitely not where it should have been.

Why this sudden burst of thoughts? I have no idea. Most of the times I don’t know how to deal with them and as any other person I live in denial, till they subside a little and finally I can deal with them.

I don’t know why and how this happens with me, but sometimes when I should be really confused about a serious decision, I know the answer instead. It is absolutely straight to me as to what should I do, and I have my judgments clear. (So far so good, never been in trouble; fingers crossed)

Then when I should be really angry at someone, I let it go. I don’t even give it much of a thought. I am told by people again and again, that it is a wrong decision, but I let it go. Morals win over, I guess. I don’t know, I just don’t even feel angry then or what. But then suddenly the very same person does something which is really insignificant this time, but I think my patience has been tried enough, and I burst…. I burst till I have nothing left inside and I simply let out my anger over that inconsequential matter. Where do my morals go then? (I ask this because I can be really mean when I am angry; when I am angry and I lose it. I will admit that I get angry easily, but I don’t lose it so soon, I guess those are two different things.)

When I should be really upset or sad about anything, people are tensed to their nerves beside me, and I have to forcefully stifle a laugh. I mean why, how?? Why will I want to laugh at a crucial time? (Get my dilemma?)

Yes, this next thing is going to be hilarious. When I should be smiling and laughing and be really happy, I have to supress my sobs. And I roll my eyes and ask myself “really?”

This happened just yesterday, when I was reading (Yes simply reading, not even a real life situation) and I had to conquer over few stray tears. What I was reading was something too sweet, too beautiful, too happy (too good to be true) and yet there I was gripping my fist, scratching my toes, trying to stop myself from crying.

So back to my question, how do emotions work? Or should I ask why I am so weird? (Rolling my eyes constantly at the second question)

Published by Moushmi Radhanpara

A bilingual writer, Moushmi Radhanpara has authored three poetry collections so far, namely POSIES and 03:21 AM –An Ode to Rust & Restlessness, and Resignation of an Angel. She is also scribbling an unplanned rough draft of a story as a part of NANOWRIMO 2020 and hopes that something might come out of it. She has also co-authored two books, The Lockdown Stories and Mirage so far. Her poetries can be found on her blog and a few other online portals. She believes in the fact that a better reader makes a better writer. Reading a 100 books a year is her latest obsession. She can be found either drunk on coffee or hiding away from everything and admiring the gorgeous sun.

41 thoughts on “Confusional Emotions!!

  1. Emotional Education can help I guess…
    It enables you to understand a whole lot of emotions than those angry, sad, happy stereotypes…
    Emotions are more than those…
    Emotional Education enables you to expand your Emotional Vocabulary.
    And you can control the situations better once you gain Emotional Intelligence!!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. The thoughts that keep haunting us. We are humans, get irritated and negativity seep in. The entire things plague me often and I’d say let’s go with the flow to bear acceptance of negativity rather than fighting them out.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Basically you think a lot i guess. Too much thinking will lead you to a confusion and you loose control over your emotions. At times you may become numb to situations not knowing what to exactly do. Think less and Im sure everything will fall in place.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi and welcome to my blog.
      I agree with you 100%. I have said here before, that if possible to get one, I might have already achieved a PH.D in overthinking. So there you have it. the reason I know, but the solution to not overthink, I am yet to find.
      Thanks a lot for bringing this reminder to me 🙂


  4. Emotions are the results of our thoughts. And may be knowingly or unknowingly you give a lot of thought to anything you consider. Sometimes emotions depends on how our mind answers to the different questions we seek on our quest.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. A very “emotional” post I must say, and I must hold back from saying that you are weird 😀
    Was a great read, too many questions, the way I like a post to be.

    Liked by 1 person

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