I Wanted To Heal You….

 

I wanted; wanted

To take away all our pain,

To free you from your aches,

To envelope you in my embrace,

To make you forget all that can’t be erased.

 

I wanted; wanted

To kiss all your tears,

To chase away all your fears,

To taste all your wounds,

To chaperone you to the tombs.

 

I wanted; wanted

To cure you of your grief,

To surcease all your strife,

To heal your body, your soul,

To be your cure, an antidote.

 

I wanted; wanted

To give you all my happiness,

To bestow you only with blissfulness,

To free you of the enchains,

To liberate you, of all the restrains.

 

And in doing so,

I lost my exulted ecstasy,

My humorous joviality,

My peace, my calm,

My tranquility, the only charm.

 

And in doing so,

I reached someplace called inferno,

Burning, writhing, for how long I don’t know.

In healing you, I lost myself,

My body, my soul,

And there was left, no antidote.

*

Sometimes, I wonder though, if at all this is possible. You always wanted everything to fall in place for the other person, you always wanted peace and serenity for them, but in trying to do everything for them, can you really lose yourself? In doing something good for others can you really hurt yourself? Can you really torture and enchain yourself, so, so badly that you fear your presence? Can you really fall to some place so dark?

Published by Moushmi Radhanpara

A bilingual writer, Moushmi Radhanpara has authored two poetry collections so far, namely POSIES and 03:21 AM –An Ode to Rust & Restlessness, and is working on her third book currently. She is also scribbling an unplanned rough draft of a story as a part of NANOWRIMO 2020 and hopes that something might come out of it. She has also co-authored two books, The Lockdown Stories and Mirage so far. Her poetries can be found on her blog https://aestheticmiradh.com/ and a few other online portals. She believes in the fact that a better reader makes a better writer. Reading a 100 books a year is her latest obsession. She can be found either drunk on coffee or hiding away from everything and admiring the gorgeous sun.

52 thoughts on “I Wanted To Heal You….

  1. Loved it..
    Very well written, Moushmi
    And I think we somewhere forget ourselves for others…and this is ok to some extent…but after that… it’s NOT at all ok..

    Like

  2. I guess when the love is pure there may be differences but in the end you will grow only, you both will sit together even if its dark till you embrace the light in each other. So may be we just need to wait till then.And yes a great post (with no offence its purely my opinion)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This all applies when the love is real. When it’s true there is no fear, only setbacks which are always won. But when it’s deception, no matter how much you try, you lose it..
      Thanks a lot Aditi, for your view, no offence was taken. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I would dispute the notion of love ever being pure, rather it is an alloy of selfish desires and inspired friendship. The older I get, the more I think the ancient Greeks were right that friendship was superior to Eros, but I also think true love is the best of both.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I have been thinking about this very thing, so much, since I posted this yesterday and finally I decided I did not like how I ended this poetry. I hated my own work, leaving myself and my readers without hope, which lead me to change it’s ending. Do let me know if you like the old or the new version.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. sometimes we give up so much of ourselves in a relationship (any type including work etc.) we just burn ourselves up and become nothing but ash because we dont get back what we may need to stay whole. whether it is by choice or just by chance that we dont get what is needed.
    good write

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Amazing write… And yes, it is possible that one can loose themselves at the cost of other’s happiness. Yes one can end up hurting themself trying to keep the smile on the other persons face… True, ppl of such kind too do exist.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. May be it so happens when you keep giving yourself to someone, every bit of you, you lose yourself in the process, you lose the individual you were. And when the other person vanishes your lose your crux and everything becomes disoriented. I could relate to every line you wrote.

    Liked by 1 person

Your perception holds importance for me.

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