Aaj jane ki zid na karo.. yu hi pehlu me baithe raho…..
I hum along the very old lyrics, sitting in my balcony, sipping that hot cup of coffee, drenching in that cool, chilly after-rain air, that unseasonal rain which leaves everything all the more beautiful. I am lost; lost in that very strong cup of coffee, lost among those very soothing winds; lost in a different era of love.
I am lost when suddenly, out of nowhere, disconcerting my train of thoughts, This stupid Mr. Coffee Hater barges in rushing, fluttering, clapping, smiling, “Pehle muje ane to do, uske baad me jane ki zid karunga na.” I have to literally battle with my calm, with my soothing mind to come back and realize what exactly happened.
“You frightened me.” I scream.
“Someone’s in a mood!!” comes back the taunting respond.
“Don’t even let me begin on mood.”
“Oh ever the dramatic Moushmi.”
“Yeah? You think I do drama all the time?”
“Well, not all the time. At least not when you sing such wonderful, soulful songs for me.”
He thinks the song is for him!! Oh God!! Can he really be any more self-obsessive?
“The song wasn’t for you.” I retort.
“Of course it wasn’t.” And he tries patting my hand.
“Oh, just get lost.”
“But I just came in.” He tries with all his roughish charms.
“Yeah, but you didn’t come in when I needed you. Oh, you are just the same. It will probably do you more good if you just left!”
“I was busy.” He tries puppy faces.
“Yeah, and so I am, now!! Any plans on leaving, then?”
“Well, I am not disturbing you, am I?”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I am not. All I can remember is you were singing or should I say trying to sing a song, whereby you were pleading with me to not go.” He smirks.
“For the 100thtime, the song wasn’t for you.”
“Let’s say, I agree that it wasn’t for me. Then may I ask, whom were you dedicating it to?” He really tries.
“No, you may not know.”
“Oh, come on! I go away for a little while and you throw all your tantrums on me. I said I am sorry.”
“No, you never said sorry!”
“In your head, you did!!”
“Someone’s really angry this time!.” He mumbles.
“I heard that!!
“Yeah, well if you heard that, do you hear me asking for that damned coffee?”
“Since when have you started liking coffee?”
“Oh, I still hate it. But if that is what it takes for you to calm down, lady? Then coffee it is!”
“Oh come on. I don’t want your upkaar.” I snap.
“It is not upkaar. I mean it.” He smiles that foolish smile.
I wonder. Is he right? Is he fooling me? I try to read his face, but before I can he changes the topic. “So, I hear you were really missing me?”
“I have better things to do, than miss someone who hates coffee!”
“Are we still on that?”
“Well, we will be on that until you start drinking coffee!!”
“So, is there anything new except of your coffee?” he changes the topic again.
“No.” I am still very adamant.
“Good.”…………. “But come to think of it….”
“There it is. I was just wondering how have you not ‘thought’ of anything so far. HAHAHA you and your thinking.”
“If my thinking bothers you so much, then why did you come here again?”
“I heard you were missing me.” He flatters himself.
“Well, you had fake news. Be assured of that!”
“Seriously?” He rolls his eyes at me.
“Oh, in that case I must go. I just thought……”
“Ha ha! Caught you. I have told you. Thinking isn’t your responsibility. You fail miserably at it.”
“Yeah, I know. I just thought I was better at it by now.”
“There, you are doing it again. My dear, you just are pathetic at it.” I rejoice in his failure.
“Yeah? So are you.”
“In what, may I ask?”
No, you may not!!”
“Okay, don’t say. But are you going to ever tell me where exactly have you been for so many days?”
“No!” Comes the blatant reply.
“Really?” I stare dumbfounded.
What is wrong with you? I want to scream. But I sip my coffee instead.
“So, what brings you here, today, after so many days? I thought you just forgot me?”
“Oh, please don’t start that again!! Stop being cheesy!!”
“It’s not cheesy.”
“It’s not. And even if it is, at least it’s better than your coffee!!”
I remain silent.
“Are you going to say anything?” He chirps.
I am still silent.
“Okay, then I am leaving.” He is losing patience now.
“WAIT! You can’t go….”
“I know. I know. The coffee isn’t over yet.” He finishes for me.
“So do I get the pleasure to know your name, now?” I am all too politeness for him.
He rolls his eyes and smirks. He just knows its fake.
“You could you if you wanted to.”
“But you won’t say your name.” I almost spill my cup in screaming at him.
“You won’t ask.” He bats his wings angrily.
“I just did.”
“Okay, I will tell you today, just as soon as you finish your idiotic, extremely hot, stupid, excessively strong, unwanted and sour coffee!!!!!”
He has crossed his limits.
I gulp down the coffee. Enough is enough. I will know his name, today.
He winks again. He smiles mischievously. Bats his wings.
“Aisi baate kiya na karo..” And just as swiftly he flies away, above and beyond. And in another second he is too far away from me.
He is gone. The coffee cup is empty. The wind is whistling into my ears. In the background the wonderful lady, that gorgeous Farida Khannumsmiles vainly into nothingness, “Jaan jati hai jab uth k jate ho tum……..
Until we meet again.
More about this stupid, nerving, extremely irritating Coffee Hater: Mr. Coffee Hater- My New Friend!