The Arrested Fear.

I am sitting

Huddled among my friends

Or beside my love

But I am sitting

And I am laughing, talking.

I am happy.

Or so I thought-

For I was sure, sitting

But I was alone

Where did he go?

Why did the people leave me?

I was confused

Scared.

And then I saw someone

A pair of innocent black eyes

Walking towards me

Callously strolling,

A flicker of smile

Spread across his handsome face.

His bare chest

Trailing down to a carved V

Ending right above the

Loose white pair of trousers.

His pace quickens

And his eyes aren’t innocent anymore.

His smile isn’t handsome anymore.

And I get up and run.

I run.

But where do I run?

Somehow, I am on a five inch wide railing

And he is walking on it,

Towards me.

But I can’t walk.

I can barely stand straight.

He is walking.

And I am freezing.

I realize- I need to get away

And so I shut my eyes

And jump.

But there is nowhere to jump.

There is no railing

There is no falling

There is nothing.

But then where am I standing?

I open my eyes in a hurry

To find all blurry.

He is still walking towards me

And I am still there

Somewhere!

I need to run, I remind myself

So I run.

I am running back

To there

As far as I can see

And he is inches away from me

Devoid of any hurry

But full of innocence

And if there is innocence

Then why am I running away?

But I run.

I still run

Panting

Tired

Without a sense

I run.

There is a pleading noise from behind me

But I am so scared

I still run

And then there is nothing

Except for a log jump

Off the elongated sky

And then there are

Stairs.

So I run off them

Two at a time.

I keep going down

I run without a breath

Devoid of a thought

Panting

Sweating

Trembling

With fear.

And after about a hundred stairs

I am blocked.

There are four walls

No doors.

And I beat myself against each one of them

None moves.

I try again.

I am terrified.

Horrified.

I am tired.

I here a meek laughter from above

But I see no one.

There is nothing.

And I am trapped.

But how am I trapped

When there is nothing?

Yet, here I am

Eyes aghast

Fear gripping every inch of my body

The faint innocent eyes hiding

My soul writhing in agony

The dream subsiding the depravity.

Published by Moushmi Radhanpara

A woman questioning almost everything, trying to find answers through her's and your words. I am on an unending quest, walking the paths of unknown. I am walking and walking, may be too slow, but I am doing it. I am happy as long as I do not stop. I will be content to fall, to fly, to swim, to drown, only never to stop.

54 thoughts on “The Arrested Fear.

  1. Woaaahhhhh! I’ve read such a good poem with a theme of confusion, love, fear and with a story to it, after so long. I literally couldn’t help but read it thrice.

    And when I imagine, running into nothingness and jumping, away from him(probably as you’ve thought people would imagine it) I was able to feel the pain. I saved this poem to read it when I’m in need of this.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Preksha.
      Thank you so very much for stopping by, and with this heart-warming comment you have simply made my day. I am glad you could resonate with this theme of nothingness, and the pain therein. Thanks again for interpreting this ‘nothing’ poem into so much more.
      Lots of love to you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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