All posts by Moushmi Radhanpara

A woman questioning almost everything, trying to find answers through her's and your words. I am on an unending quest, walking the paths of unknown. I am walking and walking, may be too slow, but I am doing it. I am happy as long as I do not stop. I will be content to fall, to fly, to swim, to drown, only never to stop.

Versatile blogger award.

I do not much about what it really is but 187puneet.wordpress.com has nominated me and I think it wouldn’t be fair to him if I did not share this.

I am troubled and confused soul who has answers for nothing and questions to almost everything. Here I put up a showcase of my stupidity and trying to find myself, the real me. Honestly I do not deserve this but anyhow since I am nominated I would carry on the chain of the versatile blogger award.

Rules to be followed

  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Share the award on your blog
  • Share 7 random facts about yourself
  • Tag 10 bloggers with less than 1000 followers and let them know they’ve been nominated

7 random facts about me –

  1. I love reading books.
  2. coffee is the second love.
  3. life has always been confusing for me
  4. love is what I cant believe in
  5. travelling could be my husband
  6. food could be the one with whom I could cheat on my husband.
  7. a cusp (Leo and Cancer.)

I nominate:

myvaliantsoulcom.wordpress.com

365daysofkindness.com

illuminatedliteration.wordpress.com

187puneet.wordpress.com

travellingkrishnaite.wordpress.com

yasminmay.wordpress.com

flyingcolours603.wordpress.com

 

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The Quest for balance.

“Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.”

-Theodore Roosevelt once said.

Who wouldn’t agree to that? Who wouldn’t want that balance? I for one could kill for that equilibrium and poise in my life. And yet I do not know how to attain such beautiful stability. If only I could get that my life would be suave and perfectly even. But then whose life is?

Every time I get a promotion at my job I celebrate as if suddenly I was the CEO of the company.

Every time something would be all on the upper scale in my life I would be carried away.

Any man that I date and seem to be perfect I tell myself “He is the one.” But then he is not.

Every time life seems to be going smooth, once for a change, I would think to myself, “It seems finally I am being rewarded and I can stop looking back to those times and move on without being scared.” But then boom how can that be? It is me, how can things be smooth?

I celebrate success as if there would never be another victory. I repent something as if there could be nothing more warped than my situation. And I have got only one lesson through all of this. I can be as happy as I want but a certain part of frightfulness has to be present in my heart, deep down it has to be there. I can be as atrocious and dreadful as I could be but then deep down my heart must know, “Even this will pass.” A tiny star should be blinking there all throughout even in the moments of utter darkness.

I am yet struggling with this. I know that it is not as easy for everyone to be so balanced, but now that I am trying to be it feels good. I have not reached there and I know I might never will but then trying seems to be doing it for me now.

It is difficult to be ‘there’ and ‘here’ together, but it is different, stunningly apart.

The trick to me is, “How can I reach somewhere so high a place and yet try being here? Well, I am here, but trying to reach there too.

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PS: I do not know if any of this makes any sense to you. Sometimes it doesn’t even make justification to me.

picture: Google

Overwhelmed or underwhelmed?

download (1)My sweet tooth was fretting me. I dodged it a couple of times but then ended up grabbing a chocolate bar. Oh, the sweet melted chocolate in my mouth was so tempting I couldn’t resist another bite and ended up eating the entire bar. And before I knew it was all gone and I thought I had had only one or two bite of it. I wish I had savoured it 😦

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download (2)I was thrilled and excited about the date tonight. I was about to meet him tonight after so long, it would be so beautiful, we would have had so much to talk about. He had planned a perfect romantic evening for me. I cherished every moment of the evening, it was all so over whelming but it ended. The evening came to an end and I wished it hadn’t.

*

I was super excited about the planned trip to Italy. I was all ready and back packed and it was as if just a flicker when all the pizza, pasta, gourmet and the cheese ended.

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Dear friends is it just me or everyone feels the same? Are you too always super excited about something special and dejected when it all ends? Sometimes, just once in a while do you not want to seize the moment? But the question rises is it even possible?

Picture: Google

Swim or float?

 

I am kind of a person who does not like much change so when it happens I am the one to sulk. There is this beautiful green city ‘Jamshedpur’ in India which is indeed simple and yet beautiful. But these days they are reconstructing the roads and making it even more complex. I liked as it was previously.

It is so rightly put by Sagarika Bose in her Times of India column today. It is raining and raining and raining and all the cities are clogged but what is being done about that? I do not know. But the roads are to be widened and narrowed; the clogging will be looked into afterwards.

Well, now you all must already know that I love coffee but I would love it even more when there is an accompanying nice story to read and what more could be nice to read than something to which you so aptly agree.

If we are all drowned then what would the wider roads do to help? I think give more space to swim and float.

Picture credit: google

Daily Prompt: Cake

via Daily Prompt: Cake

A cake?

It reminds me of so many things.

What is a birthday without a cake? What is a dessert which does not resemble a cake? what kind of person does not like a cake, at least some flavor must be loved by one and all.

A cake to me is almost synonyms to celebration. Any wedding, engagement, birthday or inauguration, well any kind of celebration is just as incomplete for me as Pride and Prejudice without Mr. Darcy.

PS: home made cake. 🙂

Being responsible

And that’s where the irony lies

I know we all are meant to be doing something worthwhile in our lives. We are required to have a good education, a well-paid job and a nice living standard. I understand we have to be responsible and we can’t live our lives like some careless person.

But if I could tell you the truth, for once in my life I am enjoying a few days where I could sleep till late, eat a cake in the morning. For once I am allowed to not have a job and do what I really aspire. And for the first time in my life I am enjoying the pleasure of drinking cups and cups of coffee while reading my favourite classic and eating easy pasta for dinner.

For a change I do like being pampered and a day’s rest when I am not even tired. I am kind of having pleasure in eating, sleeping, reading, praying and repeating.

I thought if Elizabeth Gilbert could do it in ‘Eat Pray Love’ then I could try it too but there is this same guilt of eating gourmet in the morning and repenting for not being able to concentrate on anything and the quest of finding oneself.

Unfaltering love; Is it possible?

Last night I was watching Romedy Now and the evergreen show ‘How I Met your Mother’ popped up on the screen. The season was at the point when Ted Mosby decided to leave New York for the love of his life. I had to admit that I have seen this show innumerable time, and every time this scene comes up it makes me nostalgic. Then today I watched a Bollywood movie P.K and again had to see an alien sacrificing for the love of his life.

Okay, this is still imaginary and telecast-ed entertainment but then I have also heard that the Goddess Radha ji stayed away from Lord Krishna because they both loved each other.

Let’s even leave this as this is mythology, but what about Romeo and Juliet, Heer and Ranja and Laila and Majnu? I mean as far as I know these people were true lovers.

Yet I am absolutely unsure about the possibilities of so deep and true a relationship, so meaningful love and such unfaltering trust and faith on each other.

As far as I am concerned I am yet to come across  such selfless and altruistic love for another person in my journeys and travels. Does it actually exist or is it just in mere fables that I hear such stories and get nostalgic and all teary eyed?