Category Archives: For the eternal love.

Illusion or Authenticity!

I dreamt

I dreamt of beautiful things

I dreamt with open eyes.

All my life I was taught

To dream big

Fly high

And so with open eyes

I dreamt of open skies.

Of peace, calm

And of little love.

I have dreamt of inane faith

And believed

That everything will find its way.
Oh- I pictured everything

Of what I wanted

Of dreams that kept me haunted.

What and how and why and when

I thought of everything

That will in reality

Happen again.

The smiles

Engraved

The twinkling eyes

Unscathed

Like a novice, I was in my imagination,

Engaged!

I dreamt of everything

Didn’t leave anything.

Every tiny detail

From today, tomorrow,

And yesterday.

Oh- I sinned.

Oh- I dreamt big.

Dreams don’t come true

Now reality will

Teasingly bite on you.

But wait-

It all came true.

It all did.

What and how and why and when

Every magical kiss again

Everything the way

My open eyes had engraved.

No detail left

And love no more bereft.

Only, there was a little alteration

Everything happened

The way it was meant to be.

The way my heart wanted to see.

But for that one little thing

A tiny little fling.

The dream did come true

Just the way I had thought through

Only-

Only when it came to reality

The dream was not meant for me.

The what

The how

The why

The when

All became a living reality

Only not for me.

Someone else came in a swift

And lived my dream

Instead of me.

Was it not

My dream?

It all happened

Just the way I wanted

But I did not live it.

Jealousy and anger- My sin

I am only human after all.

For years I pined for those wings

And just as I was about

To touch them

Someone came and plucked them away.

My dream

Shattering into million little pieces

Tears brewing in my hollow eyes

But I can’t move.

The dream is all I had

Towards which I slogged

And with that gone

I am nothing but a meek fawn.

I am only a human after all

Succumbing to a painful fall

Lost in an empty desert

Where, in darkness

I howl, “It hurt.”

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Suppressed Vehemence.

You said it was love,

And I believed in you and called it love-

I fused in you

And lost all I had.

 

I loved you with all I had

And you deceived me with all you could

All I claimed was, you to love me too

And all you did was betrayed me with all my feelings too.

 

But what could I have expected,

I wanted sunshine and rains and winters

I wanted all-

But unknowingly I entered a silent brawl.

 

I wronged myself, in believing in you

For I think I demanded sunshine off the morning dew,

It’s not your fault, as rains only provide thunder

And a snowfall in scorching summers would only be a wonder.

 

Cacoethes.

Todays evening sun

Reminds me of him…

A ‘Him’- lonely, vibrant and distant.

When I bask myself in its glory

To brighten my inner joys,

To enliven my hurting hunger.

I draw him to me, in

The dusk of my glooming room

And sit atop

Mouth on mouth,

Body on body,

Craving, thirsting-

The mundane murmers soaring, sigh

The rumblings

The thrusting

The grieving agony-

The passion, the breathing

Slowly moving.

And then the night steals him,

The romantic notions of sun,

The patronising night, and his stealth.

And all I am left with,

Is a gentle throbbing,

A longing lust,

And my eyes dreaming.

Ps: Please don’t give up on me. I’ll catch up with you guys very soon.

Treacherous Love.

He promised me he’d forever be mine

Giving me no reason to think, to my face he’d lie,

He sealed his promise with a chaste kiss

Deceiving me into believing for an eternal bliss.

 

He didn’t leave me of his own accord

Only- death did us sorrowfully apart,

But in him, I lost my partner in crime

And with him, I lost my reason to smile.

 

Now, when old age has befriended me

With ‘lack’ of all kinds seeping in,

Teeth, taste, ability to walk; hear

Wanting, patiently for my heart to tear.

 

Time and loneliness has started eating me alive

With my body withered, no one cares for my hidden vice,

And despite the lineage of children and grandchildren

No one deciphers the secluded nausea, building in.

 

The Disguised Innocence.

She was walking alone, dazed, on a torturous esplanade

Fighting battles that she didn’t know existed within,

Shaky, confused, confounded

Adrift amidst her own gloomy labyrinth.

 

Having abandoned her modest attire

The saree, the simplicity, long discarded,

Adorning herself in skirts, she became a voracious liar

Determining to no more forsake her heart unguarded.

 

With an extra layer of seething gory kohl

She strived to camouflage her inner sufferings,

The dark lips concealing the agony, the rage exalted at a knoll

While her innocence, her honesty;

Secretively yet commandingly tumbling.

 

She thought she’d garner and hoard her emotions

Pretending to be strong, while her insides shivered,

But her eyes failed her miserably deceiving all notions

Pulling her into an emotional whirlwind blizzard.

 

She was determined to make herself be loathed

Pining to remain abandoned, isolated and lone,

Yearning for no one to heal her soul

Hardly discerning that in a stance he’ll come

And all her aches will be enthroned.

 

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The Betraying Eyes.

Walking down that lane

An identical cup of coffee in hand,

Her captivating smell brushed my senses

And I just fell in love.

 

A crop top and a snuggish denim skirt

Defining unpretentiously her grimacing smirk.

Hair curly and wild, and on her feet some ragged sneakers

Elucidating the most mundane, screaming through her sharp features.

 

Kohl smeared and black smoldering eyes

Screeching the unknown and the hidden lies,

Oh, what with the black luscious lips

Without any trace of a smile, makes my heart flip.

 

The rage, the hatred, the agony quite visible

All making her to me, surprisingly irresistible,

Her secrets, her valor, her daunting self

Making me feel like a fustian elf.

 

She didn’t win me over with her mysterious meander

I melted into a glaze, by her dark loathful candor.

I stood there; fiery; lost; engulfed

And just like that I fell in love.

 

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