Category Archives: It’s Humour time.

Labour Day!

India is celebrating labour day today and as usual my phone buzzes with messages and wishes of ‘Labour day’, as it happens on any specific day or festival. Most of the companies have started this new trend these days, to send texts and images to everyone celebrating and wishing almost every calendar day.  And even today, I did the same with those texts, opened them and simply ignored them. I don’t know why but I am just not very much attracted to these general, yet very formal messages having no personal touch, and I avoid those texts and images which clutter and fill my phone’s space. Most of the times I don’t even download these images, knowing I am going to delete it just the very minute. Call me rude, but what can I say, I do this and I admit it. If it helps, I do write the person a very formal ‘same to you’ in return.

So, today when I was cleaning my phone gallery when a certain picture caught me. I hadn’t even seen who sent me the said picture, but it got into my nerves and had to find out who sent it. Some of you might get the humour, but I didn’t.

The picture that ‘he’ (The fact that it is a he is significant here) sent me with the caption “Happy Labour’s Day” is below:

download

I don’t know, I was just not in the mood or what, but I didn’t like the relation. The concept that a man is a labour for a woman just doesn’t get in my head. Never!!!!

I didn’t say anything, didn’t react but I played the game and sent him two different pictures with the same caption.

images (1)

images

This sure enraged him. “A woman is never a labour…… she is always respected by good men….. why do women have to always turn this on us…… why can’t they take humour…….”

I laughed my heart out after this, it was hilarious him blurting out. When he did it was fine, but when I did it, it was ‘women always turn it on gentlemen”.

Not sure who couldn’t take the humour. Me or him?

Swimming Escapade!

As the summers have hit, I lumber across the huge and insanely deep waters in the mornings almost everyday. It is so relishing, so relaxing that I can’t even to begin explain how I feel then.

Well, who am I kidding, I know exactly how I feel, because it isn’t the oceans that I am bathing in. I am in a small pool under a very beautiful canopied roof.

But the idea seems enticing, oh, the idea of having and living beside the ocean. (This keeps gawking at me, the idea and my past. I miss living near that raving ocean.)

So, coming back to today, when I am drenched in those chlorinated waters, barely neck deep and yet trying, putting my efforts in a vain attempt to swim; I savour and enjoy what I have instead of crying over the past which can’t be in my present. Yes, there I was, glorifying myself, basking under the shaded warmth, drinking in the morning chills of the freshwater, awarding myself an imaginary trophy for choosing the time when I could avoid the thing that I always want to, people. It is peaceful, and I am just glad that I don’t have to make fake pleasantries or even fabricated efforts of trying to make any kind of conversation. It is soothing.

The irony lies in the fact that I can’t swim. Believe me, every year it is on my list, to learn how to swim. But there are excuses always. It starts with skin and hair issues, then it is sometimes followed by busy schedules, followed by my laziness. And some of the years I just am not in one particular place, preventing me from this little thing which I have been wanting to do since childhood. No, I am not scared of water, I love playing in it, playing with it, playing all over it 😉

They say some people are ‘hills people’, some on the other hand are ‘oceans and lake people’, I consider myself to be a ‘Nature person’. Yeah, you can refer to me as one of the Romantics who is always in awe of hills, mountains, trees, sky, oceans, rainbow……….

But the problem. Yes the problem lies in the fact that my love for nature never wins over the other reasons of not learning how to swim. (Lazy me; Accepted guilt)

So, there I was like a small kid flapping and waving my hands in that water (the lack of people helped me bring out that carefree child in me) instead of literally swimming. I was dead sure of not crossing the 5ft mark on the corners, as if I would never know that I can’t feel the pool beneath me. But just to be sure, that my dwarfish height does not submerge beneath the level, I did not cross it.

The second irony lies in the fact that I was almost drowned despite my careful analysation of the height level. As much as it sounds funny to me now, at that point of time, I thought I almost died 😀

At one point in my ineffectual attempts of swimming I got tired (Look at my laziness) and decided to relax against the sides of the pool. And I paid for it instantly. Why did I have to go there? I saw someone from the corner of the eyes, and to avoid that person I shifted a little making myself closer to my doom for the day.

All of a sudden my left heel pulled inside of something, the pull was so strong that I lost my balance completely. And then it dawned on me that I was standing right ahead of one of the suction outlets. What was I supposed to do then?

I had lost my balance, I had lost all my little stamina too in that one hour of childish play in that pool, and I was being pulled forcefully inside something, inside which my leg would probably not fit, despite which my leg was wanted!

I was trying to pull myself out, snatching myself, grabbing my feet, but it wouldn’t budge. This kept on for a few minutes which certainly seemed like eternity. I was underwater now with no balance, no breaths left, flapping about, almost battling with that pool and desperately attempting to free myself. After a while I could feel myself struggling even to breathe and a certain kind of pain started stabbing me in my heels, I don’t know if the pain was from that continuous suction or from the fact that I was pulling myself away incessantly.

After a while I gave up.

I almost started drinking that chlorinated water. I thank that it was only almost and then I threw it up. Realisation dawned on me that there was absolutely no one around, the pool was empty and if I didn’t do anything soon, I’ll probably be left there unless someone finds me struggling underneath.

I let go off my feet and came up, as much I could at that level, and swallowed air like a hungry animal. And then I saw that, literally, there was no one around. When I came in there were certainly few people there, but I guess not everyone loses themselves in the spur of the moment and bask in the glory of getting to their work late, almost every second day.

The next suction was so strong, I thought that not only my feet would get in, but my whole body would be drawn in. Oh, the dramatic me!!

I went in one final time with certainty that I cannot let myself wait for someone to come and rescue me, I had to do something, but my audacity came crumbling down as soon as I went in and lost my balance again.

But this time, I could not let it go. I held onto my feet tightly and with my other leg pushed myself against the sides of the pool. And with one final pull, and push I was out and free.

I rolled inside the waters a little but thankfully I was pushed towards the 4ft level and I could stand up, finally breathing, raspily. I clambered out of the pool instantaneously and just when I came out, there was a small group of people heading towards me. They definitely eyed me for sitting there sulkily and in a very awkward demeanor. But who cared?

I hurried out, not even glancing back towards that pool!

Now that i think of it, it sounds funny to me, that a small suction outlet pulled me inside and gave me half an inch deep cut in my feet. But in that moment, I was frantic!!

Well, I was ready to let go. What if I had let go? I didn’t know how to swim, what would have happened?

I kept struggling, and I realise now that sometimes we need to keep fighting that one last battle. As always I might be reading too much into things, but that’s who I am, we got to deal with it.  I accept not everything is in our hands, and sometimes to let go is the best alternative, but sometimes, it is worth fighting for. May be, may be that one last battle could make you win.

Anyways, so this year I get another reason for not going swimming. My cut in that stupid feet is deep and it burns, really bad. I wouldn’t dare to think of it submerged in that water. And by the time it might heal, I have my exams coming up, so we’ll see about swimming maybe next year 😉

 

 

 

 

Get ‘Carried’ Away!

I don’t know whether to be proud of it or not, but I do like these women 😉

images

Exactly, my point! How long is anyone suppose to wait!

images (1)

Why should one?

 

13c41c6f2ac3a06d3cd7e6d6c9be0ad4

Of course!! It’s like emotions are out of the question…

f01d65ffae01024de8a714062237e69e

And this one’s my favourite. If I could I’d literally marry myself and save all the trouble 😀

The disturbingly melodious song!

“Tera mujse hai pehle ka nata koi, yu hi nahi dil lubhata koi

Janee tu, ya jane naaaaaaa, mane tu ya mane na.”

How many of you remember this song? Not the new one, the really old version.

I love this song, adding it to one of my favourites.

This song comes to me today, bringing back old memories, as old as my school memories.

Of course every class has two types of students, the front benchers, the docile and obedient ones and the last benchers, the naughty and the cheeky ones. I was among the front benchers, usually seated in the corner, doing my own work, literally not caring about anyone else, which of course made me somewhat as an attitudinal one. (Really not the case though)

And then comes the mischievous and the impertinent ones. They like to be the class gang, will want to know everything going on in the class, will interfere in your work, and even pull your leg to an extent making you feel uncomfortable, and they look somewhat as rude and arrogant. (Again not the case though)

They are just different from each other.

Yes, so I was the front bencher, and I was always immersed, on God knows what, never giving them enough heed. But today this song makes me go back to those days, among those very people who might have pulled my leg someday.

Our class had this huge gang sitting at the back, always playing games inside the class. You name it and they might have played it. But their best game for me was playing ‘Antakshari” Oh they sang such beautiful songs sometimes in the class, but of course it did not end there, obviously they had to add their ‘singing touch’ to it, making the song disturbingly melodious. But it was fun in the end.

So, why this particular song?

They had the talent to destroy this song to such an extent, you could not even think of it. They would literally shout at the top of their voices, sometimes making the teachers from the staff-room come to our class and make them stop singing. And then we would all have a good laugh, not to forget the melodious singers.

They would laugh at their own voice and start singing, yet again.

*
So this post is dedicated to those singers of my class, some of whom might be reading this now. I wish them a lifetime of singing talents, but above that, sheer happiness.

 

One Big Happy Family.

Warning: If you are looking for heads and tails to a story, do not, I repeat do not proceed reading this post, not even as much as look at the pictures.

*
Once upon a time there was a lonely pigeon called A.

IMG_5317.JPG

Time passed by, and one fine day his eyes fell on someone, a very beautiful other called B.

IMG_5321.JPG

Though there was initial hesitation between the two shy pigeons, eventually their loved blossomed.

20171220_162142

One fine day, at the very place where the two love birds used to meet, there came a third person called X. Of course, there has to be something amiss in a love story, right?

IMG_5358.JPG

“Wait, what? There is someone else?” The B was heart broken.

A had to coax and cajole that in no way X was related to him.

20171220_163850.jpg

“I will jump from this building if you don’t come back.” A warned.

Well, our B was very emotional and believed in what A had to say after seeing A’s stupidity 😀

20171220_162142.jpg

And they were back together, very happy with each other.

 

20171220_164105.jpg

In future they would make X jealous, with their one big happy family, X standing just a little away.

*
Okay, I am sorry for this really ‘bad’ post. This might be the lowest level of my humor. But as it happens, people who know me, might relate that when I am bored and or tired I, specifically my mind, can go to really great extremes, one of the result of which is this post.

And if you have come this far, I truly, really am thankful for bearing with my deranged mind.

 

 

Valentine Fever!

So I was returning home from work today when, standing at the traffic signal, I noticed how the shops around were decked and draped with the colour of love. Every tiny shop around had jewels of the said colour and honestly, true to God I have never seen so much of red in my life at the same time. It wasn’t like walking inside one of the shops; rather it must seem like walking into a whole new red heart throbbing of love and only love. The entire street had all kind of gifts for the said day, the day when you express your love to your other half.

The fact that the love needs to be expressed specifically on the said day is a little disturbing for me, but hey who am I to judge?

It must be like a birthday, I mean one special day where you make someone feel more special than every normal day.

Okay, so having accepted the fact I still couldn’t stand the entire street spread with red garlands and temporary kiosks selling gifts for your valentine.

Okay, I agree again, being single on Valentines does get you a little cranky. But then again, I have never believed in a particular day when you need to express love. I mean if I love someone, I will say it again and again, every single day.

So basically what all singles do when the valentine week approach is make fun of the week and pass tentative jokes. It is almost like laughing at yourself, year after year. Well, this is what one of my friend said, so don’t blame me!

But I guess we do laugh at ourselves.

I mean of course we should, at least at our own behaviour, whining and cringing at a mere sight of a lovely couple. Sometimes, I feel like saying to myself, “Go, get a life, and stop making fun of the wonderful couple that is so in love, the kind of love which you fail to appreciate.”

Having this kind of conversation with the mentioned friend, made me realise that it isn’t the day that we loath, it is the fact that we are single. May be, there is a teeny-tiny possibility that if we were committed to someone, if we were ‘so-in-love’ then may be even we’d fall in love with the idea of love. May be even we’d like to walk down that extremely decorated red shop and buy a small souvenir for our loved one, only to remind him or her how much we love them. After all, it is just a reminder that we love you, that you are one special person that we certainly wouldn’t want to let go of. May be even we’d want to do all the crazy stuff the other couples do, only to make the partner happy.

Well, that’s just a small ‘maybe.’

But coming back to the present, as long as we are single, I guess we’d just cringe and laugh off the over-crowded colourful shops, restaurants, parks, clubs, and pretty much everything on the 14th of February!

I do have another option though, for singles. (Because I assume all the duos in love to already have planned the day)

Well, as for singles, I guess we can’t do pretty much anything except to be our own valentine. Well, as much as it may sound weird, why not!!

Make yourself feel special, treat yourself as the most important person, and make yourself your first priority. You ought to love yourself, right?

So, here’s wishing to all my loved ones (Singles and the couples), a very happy valentine!

Go, spread the love! (I assume again, it is already in the air since the week starts)

Crazy Sunday!

Sunday morning, beautiful weather outside, cool and calm air caressing you, a good book in hand, a warm cup of coffee.

Anything wrong with that? Nope, sounds just perfect. But a perfect day was just not for me.

Instead I decided to be the good girl, and sat with my books to study. I had been delaying it for quite some time now, so there I sat with books in front of me, the lovely weather outside tempting me every five minutes. I resisted the temptation, telling myself that I will enjoy this perfect setting in the evening.

So I studied till lunch time, had a delicious home-made lunch, and then was just trying to set that perfect scenery, I got the book that I was reading, placed the chair beside the window in the balcony, opened the giant windows, and was just about to get that cup of coffee, when..!

When I got a call.

My initial instinct told me not to pick up the call, because that call on a Sunday meant nothing but work!

I picked up anyway, and ended up with a meeting of about an hour.

Sounds fair! So I can come back in an hour and start with that perfect setting, I told myself.

I got ready for that meeting in fifteen minutes within which I had managed to fix myself with another meeting with some clients.

Okay, now I have two meetings? That’s okay, its 3:30 and I can still come home by 6 max.

And then finally, I realised putting off stuff isn’t any good. I shouldn’t have put off that reading session.

download

As always, I was kept waiting everywhere, and I managed to complete both the meetings by late in the evening, well it wasn’t even evening anymore when I got out of the place. It was 9 o’ clock and pretty dark.

So I drove home, ate my dinner in silence, with my head throbbing all the while. I was so tired and drenched (Just two meetings, right? Was I over-reacting?), I did not wish to do anything; even the TV had nothing to help with.

Working on a Sunday? Really, why? Why did I agree? That shouldn’t even be a thing! Working Sunday as a concept should be removed from our mind-set.

 

download (2)

That is when my dad stepped up, he took me out for a long drive, we stopped for a drink, (a mocktail, of course) and then we drove around a little bit, hardly talking to each other, with soft music playing all the while. Oh my God, that feeling, I cannot simply express how I felt at that moment. It was so soothing.

And then he simply said, “We should do this, more often.”

Oh of course, we should.

PS: Apart from the reading, I also missed being the crazy questionnaire to my mom, over that mythology show. Hoping for that to happen on the upcoming Sunday, but then it’s a week away!