Category Archives: It’s Humour time.

One Big Happy Family #7

My one big happy family is indefinitely big and happy of course, but they have become one of those. You know one of those who are so-so happy all the time, and persistently trying to make you too a little optimistic, not that you are a pessimist, but you would, for a while like to be left alone, sulking into your sour mood. Or you could include them in one of those who makes you hate- love, or the over enthusiastic lovers, or better still those who mock who for your failure in pretty much everything. Yes, I am going to add them in the mocking category, for they started doing just that, with all their coupling, and full disclosure of love, and even their way of constantly rubbing it all on my face.

I know you don’t believe me, you guys never do!

But I have proof!!

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And believe me they are the ones to kiss and tell, if you know what I mean 😉

Sighs!! Even my big happy family thinks they are better at love than me!

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Book Nerds Will Relate #4

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Now, this kind of a baby, I can think about 😀

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Just as your stupid phone seems to be saying the same.

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EEEGGGGJJJAAAACCCCTTTTTLLLYYYY.

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Oh, this happens everyday.

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Oh, never have I known that feeling of sleeping alone 😉

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Nope, not needed!

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Didn’t I just say, I don’t need that kind of negativity!!

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The first thing I’ll find, probably in every new place!

 

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Yep!!!

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Hahaha, this one got me!

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And this is just sooo cute! I wish I’d have done this!!

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A 100%

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Oh, every time!!

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Oh, believe me this is all I do!

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Oh, I do wonder this time and again!

More nerdy stuff here:

Book Nerds Will relate!

Book Nerds Will Relate #2

Book Nerds Will Relate #3

11:11

Now this 11:11 thing is an ever-increasing belief that I have come across recently. So what exactly is this 11:11? I had no idea, I still don’t but I am going to write about it all the same.

So what I have heard/read/or come across about his numerological belief is that it is a good omen. The long and short of it is that seeing this exact time is an auspicious omen.

What I read is that seeing this exact time is a sign of your angels being near by bringing you love and protection. Now, as like other beliefs, this one too states that seeing this sign again and again will do you good, or that it brings you peace and joy. And to make things clear, I have also come across this small detail, which says that in order to get that, you have to work for that particular thing. So, so far so good! But then how is it different from any other beliefs? I mean working for what you want is the ultimate savior for everything, or what?

Anyways, I am not here to demoralize anything or anyone. I mean come on, who am I exactly to even try and do that, a simple already lowly human? Those who believe this, they have their own thoughts and I am in no right to judge them. But my question is for myself, for people like me who don’t know whether to believe in these things or not. The major problem for people like me, that is if at all there are any people who think like me.

So, lets assume that the fact about 11:11 is right and it is indeed very auspicious to see this sign, once, repeatedly, and some good is going to follow now. But what if a person uses an analog watch? I mean how do you exactly see 11:11 there? May be I am not smart enough to do that and some other people can. But for me it’s a real task to see 11:11 if I am wearing an analog watch.

Then, comes the problem of using a 24-hour format in your phones. While on the one hand people flood my social media stories with 11:11 motivational quotes, on the other hand I struggle to balance the format of my time. I mean, can anyone tell me if 23:11 counts, still? Probably not!

So, I guess 11:11 cosmos is not for me. But when desperation kicks in you do weird things, at least I do. So I went and changed my format on the phone to 12-hour format, and was constantly at alert to anyhow see this 11:11!! And a day ago, I saw it!! Yes, I saw my phone, the time, exactly at 11:11. But now what!!

His torturous existence.

I am a woman

And by default I have a best friend.

I met ‘him’ at a tender age,

When I was 14

And for everyone I knew

I was already late.

When the first time I called my friend ‘him’

I was frowned upon.

“It is she, my dear! It is only your chance.”

But I didn’t want that chance, you know.

Who would want a friend

Who comes unannounced

At all the wrong times

When you plan to go for a swim

Or have a dance show

Or better yet

When you already have 10 different aches,

Who would want a friend that will just add another set of pains?

But there I was, at 14

And just because I ticked the box ‘Female’

I had a best friend,

Who would be with me till times inane.

And so I complied,

Now, if I have to have him inside my body every month

Why not make the best of it?

So, every month I would cry

When he would enter me

And I’d simply shy

Wouldn’t know how to walk-

Did he make everyone this uncomfortable?

Or was I the only one who would feel as a

Combustible?

So I would sit and complain,

I can’t go out

I am not well

And I just want to sit and read and eat and sleep and rest-

My excuses were never enough,

For I was a woman

And people were after equality

So it didn’t matter

And so I had to plaster a smile

Even when my cramps would let in no air.

As time went by,

My best friend became consistent,

Ever month, after almost 35 days

He’d visit me

And make me want to become a man.

“Why did he not have any pain?” I’d wonder.

But then if ‘he’ was the one giving me so much pain

How could he himself accustom to such cruel gain.

I call him

And every man, and woman would cringe-

But come on, it has to be a ‘him’

Who else would think of harassing a woman

The likes of this-

If it weren’t for a ‘him’?

It can only be a him

Who gives me such a headache,

Who makes me a throbbing backache?

Who makes my walking difficult,

With his unwanted intrusion,

Who makes my stomach bloat

Who takes away from my own body, my very own blood,

Who makes me consistently wet

And pains me with his very existence!

Of course it has to be a ‘him’-

Its name itself involves ‘Men-‘

Of course it has to be a him-

Ladies, at least must agree,

But then we live in a conventional society

Where talking about being wet is grimaced upon,

Let alone the talk of staining your pants,

Shhhhhhhh—-

You are making it very clear, woman

Stop talking!

We are at the point where we fight for equality

And you saying these things

Isn’t helping

You are a woman

And you just have to live with your best friend.

And so I tell myself

I am a woman,

As if I didn’t know so far

And since I am a woman

I will just have to live with it.

As if I could literally do anything about it!

And so I make sure that I carry ‘things’ with myself

Everywhere,

Carefully hiding it from the men’s stare.

God forbid they know

What we go through.

Let alone ‘him’ being the only reason we go through.

Then comes the choice of colors of my dresses

Where I will make sure to avoid

The white and lights

When I will somehow know

That ‘he’ is going to visit me.

And then suddenly I will have to cancel all the fun plans

Only because I am not up for it,

And my mood is so unreliable

That I will hate even myself

But I still go and work just as such

For I am a woman,

And that is just a part of me.

That ‘him’ is just a part of me.

And just suddenly, because I am the one inviting problems,

I will have the unknowing urge to visit a temple,

Why?

I am not even that religious

But just because I am not “allowed”

I want to go in-

And I will somehow land up at my relatives place

Where again I am not ‘allowed’ to

Sit on the sofa

On the bed

Or eat just as naturally.

For I am dirty on those days

And I just don’t love it.

But then again I am a woman,

And that is how I am ‘suppose’ to be.

My friend will come and visit

That is by default-

In my system-

And I will have to just live with it.

I don’t have a choice.

‘He’ is just a part of me.

And just like all other men

He is just another sour ache on my body,

My mind

Straining my life with his very existence.

 

White lies!

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I hate to lie,

About when I am going to lie.

I tell people that I am definitely tired,

When all I want is my ebooks to be fired.

They think the days toils have left me, arduous,

When in reality, I want to show my love,

Towards whom, I am so much virtuous.

They think they have succeeded,

In ripping me off, of my words and fantasy,

But a little more planning was supposed to be needed,

To have committed such a blasphemy.

But then again, I am happy to lie,

For under the sheets, I get to lie,

Where everyone tends to forgo the white lie.

 

 

Self Obsession!

I love myself. Hell yeah, I do! I mean come on, I am awesome 😀

Okay, enough with the self obsession.

I say this today because I love one thing about me. Whenever I read something good, a word, a sentence, a quote, a paragraph, I write it down and keep it with myself. At first, I used to keep a small memo pad or a pocket diary full of such amazing, jaw dropping quotes. (It doesn’t mean you like these quotes too. It is only, my taste that we are talking about here) But over the time I have stopped keeping that diary and instead I just write it down. So by now I have such wonderful lines written everywhere, on post it’s, on the back of a journal, on a single torn paper, on my phone, as a memo, as a draft message, and pretty much everywhere. What is wrong with this method is the fact that I cannot ever compile them at a single place now. But on the other hand, I get these as a surprise sometimes when I am least expecting them. For instance, today, I was rummaging through an old book, where I found a folded sheet of paper on which there was a very beautiful line. I am not even going to try translating it from Hindi, for the effort is going to be extremely hilarious. But I attach the sheet below, if by chance you like it.

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I am pretty sure, this was not from a book, but may be a historical TV series, I just cannot place it. But isn’t it pretty? And ever since I have found this, I am simply smiling, smiling like an ignorant fool.

And even if it is not, I like it all the same. I love it, in fact. Remember, it’s all about self love now? So I love this, I love the way I keep writing these beautiful lines everywhere. and yes, I love myself!! Kyuki mai apni favourite hoon!! 😀

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Superhuman.

I wonder how people exactly multi task so much. Oh, don’t get me wrong; I am not talking about simple things like walking and texting, or eating and watching TV. I have bigger issues today. There are people who do millions of things together and yet seem never to get tired.

 

I know some people who do this! I am not kidding!!

 

Their chores start the moment the wake up, and seem never ending. It all begins with a morning work out/ exercise/ walk, and goes on to their respective jobs. Well of course a single job doesn’t suffice and so there is another part time work from home thing. And they seem to have time for that too. Their lunches are always never alone, considering how many people they have to keep up with. The evening brings back the writing ant inside of them and hence starts the blogging world, which of course requires an exceptional amount of time. Blogging is of course never a one-hand thing, leading to various social media for recognition, where of course they are extraordinarily rewarded. They have a social presence in a virtual world too. Their friends know their whereabouts constantly, from what they are doing, where they are doing, to why and with whom they are. Hence their social life is hype. Well, as dusk falls, dinner reservations are made for social life is not for only social media, made. So, when the person comes back home, with a stomach full, and a little weekday booze, a coffee is needed so that the person does not snooze. As the exams are approaching the person needs to prepare too. And hence a couple of hours are spent, wracking the brains and selecting the mains, whereby sleep befalls, and peace prevails.

 

Please tell me how do these people do this! Are they even human or some super power do they attain? Do I lack that kind of brain? Or am I just too lazy and of course a little crazy to even follow that kind of train?

 

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PS: This is me, pretty much after doing every single thing!