Category Archives: It’s how life is!

To Be Worthy Or Not To Be!

There are days when I write a four-line poem and am satisfied with my days product.

 

And then there are days when I go out for a walk, eat the best and the healthiest, pray, get an exceptional work out before sleep (if you know what I mean), rest, work, study for my papers, read a 100 pages of the book I am reading, write an angry poetry, watch a movie (everything not necessarily in the same order) and yet I am just not satisfied! It all still feels worthless and I don’t know what to do with myself.

 

It is somewhere in the middle that I want to be, trying to find a balance. I don’ want to overdo, and neither do I want to be worthless. But then again, who is to say, I might be just as worthless.

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आईने!

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खुश रहने में और खुश दिखने में
अगर फर्क न होता
तो मेरे घर क आईने
इतनी कहानिया न छुपाते.

I am sorry, for translated it will just not mean anything to me and so I leave it just as it is.

 

Melancholy.

All you vain dreams

As short as a mid summer night

Swift; fleeting; lonely

Bestowing me with nothing but melancholy.

Fierce as a loving woman’s anger

Sweet as the kiss of a passionate lover

A bell at dawn; a parting groan-

If only I’d be wise enough to see beyond it.

 

The Arrested Fear.

I am sitting

Huddled among my friends

Or beside my love

But I am sitting

And I am laughing, talking.

I am happy.

Or so I thought-

For I was sure, sitting

But I was alone

Where did he go?

Why did the people leave me?

I was confused

Scared.

And then I saw someone

A pair of innocent black eyes

Walking towards me

Callously strolling,

A flicker of smile

Spread across his handsome face.

His bare chest

Trailing down to a carved V

Ending right above the

Loose white pair of trousers.

His pace quickens

And his eyes aren’t innocent anymore.

His smile isn’t handsome anymore.

And I get up and run.

I run.

But where do I run?

Somehow, I am on a five inch wide railing

And he is walking on it,

Towards me.

But I can’t walk.

I can barely stand straight.

He is walking.

And I am freezing.

I realize- I need to get away

And so I shut my eyes

And jump.

But there is nowhere to jump.

There is no railing

There is no falling

There is nothing.

But then where am I standing?

I open my eyes in a hurry

To find all blurry.

He is still walking towards me

And I am still there

Somewhere!

I need to run, I remind myself

So I run.

I am running back

To there

As far as I can see

And he is inches away from me

Devoid of any hurry

But full of innocence

And if there is innocence

Then why am I running away?

But I run.

I still run

Panting

Tired

Without a sense

I run.

There is a pleading noise from behind me

But I am so scared

I still run

And then there is nothing

Except for a log jump

Off the elongated sky

And then there are

Stairs.

So I run off them

Two at a time.

I keep going down

I run without a breath

Devoid of a thought

Panting

Sweating

Trembling

With fear.

And after about a hundred stairs

I am blocked.

There are four walls

No doors.

And I beat myself against each one of them

None moves.

I try again.

I am terrified.

Horrified.

I am tired.

I here a meek laughter from above

But I see no one.

There is nothing.

And I am trapped.

But how am I trapped

When there is nothing?

Yet, here I am

Eyes aghast

Fear gripping every inch of my body

The faint innocent eyes hiding

My soul writhing in agony

The dream subsiding the depravity.

यादें

वो घुंघरू की जँकार

वो झिलमिलाता ताल.

 

वो बजते ढोल

वो सरगम के बोल.

 

वो थिरकते पैर

वो नशीले नैन.

 

वो दिल धड़कता

वो साँसे झूमती.

 

वो मन मचलता

वो अनकही ख़ुशी.

 

वो ज़िंदा होने का एहसास

वो ज़िंदा रहने की प्यास.

 

आज सब बहुत याद आ रहे हैं.