Reality Check

Mind: what are you doing? Are you of your senses? I think I am working pretty well for you to behave like this.

Heart: why what have I done? I am just talking to him.

M: yes, but you know, what is going to happen.

H: no, I don’t know and neither do you.

M: no dear I think I am smarter than you. I know how this is going to end.

H: stop being pessimistic.

M: I am just being rationalistic. He is going to talk to you for a few days and then just suddenly he will be out of your sight and you will be shattered, once again, disappointed in yourself for trusting someone and depending on someone, emotionally yet again.

H: why, couldn’t it be otherwise?

M: I think you have seen enough to realise that by now. My friend I am not your enemy. This is just a reality check for you. Stop it here. Or else the consequences are not beautiful. He cannot be trusted and you have been broken enough, it could be you last survival hit. Do not trust on your intuitions again, they have never been helpful. Just believe that not everyone is made for that kind of love, or friendship if that is what you are trying to say next. Please, I can’t see you being broken again, the healing is process is long enough and it also terminates a lot of my works. And, all of this just for one person? Why do you want to trust again, open up again, confide in someone else yet again only to be wrecked once again? Why?

H: But why not?

PS: Since love is in the air, a little something of my mind and heart’s confusions I have almost for every other person. Hope it’s worth your time. If nothing else just humour yourself.

Love.

 

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My Deceptive face

I used to be kind to people, no matter what but then few circumstances led me to be a bit rash; as and what the situation wants but honestly nothing helped me neither being kind needlessly nor otherwise. My face; well, it deceives me always even if I am kind, it tells the story of my wrathful heart and when I am trying to be the rude judgmental lady it declares the words of the crying heart. It’s like an open book which can be read by any stranger. Literally; people have mocked my wrathful heart and even smiled generously at the teary one but also otherwise.

But what about the undisclosed emotions shut deep down within me; hidden somewhere even from me? I think they are the lies engraved on my face; like the black eyes which do not change their color, like my puckered mouth which smiles unnecessarily, like my ears listening to everyone’s story, like my nostrils breathing in life.

These are lies on my face, deceptive lies, do not believe them.

PS: I don’t know if I am making nay sense!

Marry someone who could be..

Marriage? Just how big a decision it is? Enormous, right? Who to marry? When to marry? Is the person right for you? And many more unanswered questions pop into one’s head when thinking about this earth-shaking resolution.

So me and my friend we were sitting in the food court of a mall, sipping coffee and discussing over this very subject. Well, even we could not conclude to any answer and ended up saying it is contingent to every individual. But he said something very deep, something that kept me smiling the entire day.

“You love reading books so marry someone who can be your book, whose pages are unending, whose words mean always something new to you. The book that imparts wisdom, makes you laugh, makes you cry, tells you the truth but also lies to you to make you smile, whose words make you wonder again and again, who is a puzzle, a mystery you love to solve, a book that has all the answers to your questions. A book that you want to read again and again. A book that may not be a bestseller but would surely be you’re ‘the only classic’. A book which after every read, you close it and stare at the cover smiling and you wish that it would happen all over again. So marry someone who could be your book.”

PS: The idea belongs to my friend’s philosophical mind but I took the liberty to exaggerate it.

So what are your thoughts on it? Do you agree? Would you have it any other way? Would you marry someone like this?

Drowning

i am woman in a large glass box that is slowly but steadily filling with water covering my feet my ankles my knees padlocks of my own design keep me trapped in this watery prison the opaque panels block me from view murals painted with images of my placid face doing routine things deceive the […]

via Drowning — Brave and Reckless

Rummaging through the depths of the books

Sauntering through the streets, breathing in the sea breeze, I bumped into a book fare selling books by weight and I pulled my friend inside the hall, cancelling all other plans of movies and dinners. Just the mere whiff of the read pages, innumerable books stacked exquisitely got me oscillated which led me pulling out books one after the other until my basket was literally overflowing and I couldn’t drag it any longer. I was overjoyed with my new books, some of which I hadn’t even heard of but was excited to discover the new ones when my friend mentioned, “Mujhe aisa lagta hai jaise log kitanbe nahin but in kitanbon me khud ko dhund te hain.”

Translating it literally, “I feel the people aren’t finding books here but are trying to find themselves in the depths of these books.”

And all the while later I kept thinking how deep he had thought. Isn’t it true that we try to find ourselves in the books that we read?

 

Cogito Ergo Sum. ["I think Therefore I am"]

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