Tag Archives: blogosphere

The Wait For Spring.

Warning: This is going to be pretty long. Proceed and get bored at your own risk!

 

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I should probably start with wishing new years to all of you, but I am sure that I am very late for that, very very late. So, shall I just go ahead and ask you if you have reached that point of the year, when you have started feeling that you are probably wasting this year too, and that even this year your resolutions are going to go down the drain, or better still, all the optimisms and the thought that this is going to be your year has slowly been washing out of your system? I am certain, that I am probably late for even that question!

 

Yes, I am extremely late for almost everything now, may be even writing a blog post too. For all I know, everyone whom I knew has already gone away and I might not even hear from you guys anymore. Agreed! I have been away, for far too long. And perhaps this is the most that I have been away from my blog, and stopped writing since I have started writing here, since the time Aesthetic Miradh exists. But I just didn’t have the energy, the courage, or the will to write anything. I just didn’t. It couldn’t have been a writers’ block, I am sure of that, it was something more than that! Words didn’t leave me, I still had those conversations with myself, those dull drab uninteresting posts were there, but those were only in my head. I lacked something, or may be I was just being lazy!

 

I have been staring at my computer screen for quite long now, and it has taken more than I can tell to even write these useless words so far. I have been booting my computer for the past few days, staring at the blank screen for a while, drinking cups of tea/coffee/hot chocolate one after the other, (not necessarily all in the same day) and yet I wrote nothing. Daily, I switched on the computer, and after a while, switched it off. It went on for a few days but today, I am finally writing here (hopefully posting too), but what am I exactly writing, I am unsure of. What I am sure of is, I am cent percent going to bore you by the end, and you might not even know why I wrote this, or in all probability why did you even read this?

 

So, what have I been up to? (Yeah, Moushmi, now is this becoming your daily journal? No one is interested in knowing what you have been up to!) Unlike my writing life, everything else hasn’t been stagnant. Well, life kept moving on, but I don’t know if have matched pace with it. Things have been happening. Work has been piling. To- read books have been stacking, so basically everything has been hoarded so far, so much so that I can’t see beyond it.

 

There was one respite though, the only thing that I kept looking up to everyday. 2019 was the year when I planned on writing a poem a day. Now, that sounded interesting and so fulfilling to me initially too, and I waited expectantly to write poems everyday, one after the other. It wasn’t easy, of course. And I sometimes pulled at my own head as to find any new ideas. Not that my ever-cribbing and tame-less hair had any ideas in store, but I tried it all the same. I can definitely not boast of these poems now, not when I know that not all of them are unique and certainly do not stand out. But what exactly is unique. Even the sentence that I just wrote, “But what exactly is unique.” Must have been repeated millions of time through millions of seconds. But I am still not going to boast about them, because I know, while the quantity of the poems is overwhelming, the quality is definitely not!

 

When I started writing these poems, I had in mind of being a published poet, if not a writer soon. But now that I have them, I am just being and doing what I always do. Being a certified lazy coward. I have a set of poems drawn out of the herd, and I did start editing them and I did look into the matter of publishing, but it all became too overwhelming, and I chickened out. But I haven’t exactly dropped out the idea; I am still looking into the matter only I don’t know what and how to do. People have given me suggestions. Some motivated me, some not so much. But I am still nowhere. Believe me, I have read about it, researched it, so much so that now it feels I should just go ahead and publish it already. I have come across so many new published writers, some have been of help, while some just competitive. I was initially surprised at how much our times have to offer, in terms of publication too. I mean yes, there is the traditional method of publishing, but there are so many other options too. And so- so many new, encouraging and even emerging publishers for new writers. But that is where it became too overwhelming and for once I thought, what the hell, I will just go and self publish it myself. It is not like it’s a great book or something. They are just poems, it is a small dream. May be I will make mistakes with my first book; I am bound to. But I have made mistakes in the past, and I am sure I will make them in the future too; only I hope I will not repeat them. We will see how that turns out. No saint, I am!

 

I do not have any resolutions for 2020 yet, and seeing that we are already down almost two months of the year, I might give up on it altogether. But I do have a certain idea. Wow, I am not even sure if it is an idea at all. It could turn into a series of short stories, or it could be a short novella, but then again, I keep wondering if I have that kind of discipline in me to start writing, and even if I do write, what is to happen of those boring sheets? Stay useless, may be?

 

Writing happens or not, I am sure I will be reading a lot this year. I am sure of that. I took up the goodreads challenge and all, of finishing up hundred books a year. I didn’t plan on it last year, but I still managed 79 books in 2019, and I would have completed a hundred too, had I not stopped reading altogether in the last few months of the year. This year, I plan on reading more. Not only quantity, but I mean to look into quality too, leaving behind all those books that don’t add up to anything. We’ll see how that goes too! Who knows, I end up only talking!

 

My friend Mr. Coffee Hater comes often and we have our usual nonsensical banter always, but that’s a ramble for later. So that is that! I think I should stop talking, if at all someone is listening. And if you are, I want to know what you have been up to? I am sure I have been missing out on a lot of things. Tell me what you are reading? 😉 Okay, tell me what have you been doing? As for me, I think I have I have been sipping iced coffee in winters, and reading Rumi. (Look at that me reading Rumi!) And it is still winters here, chilly, freezing winters. All I am doing is waiting for spring! I think I am just waiting for spring!!

 

 

My Baby Turns 2!!

My baby completes two years.

Yayyyyyyyyyy.

What I mean is, this blog. My blog complete two years today. And I am thrilled. Super thrilled.

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When I started this blog, I had never thought, that this would amount to something. But today, I do feel that it is something. Well, so I think.

I did have my doubts, because this was my third attempt at blogging, and yet I had no clue what I was doing with it. I guess, I still don’t know what I am exactly doing with my blog, but I think, I am doing something, if not everything that I wanted.

But this feels, so, so good right now. Not because I simply have a blog, but because I have a blog through which I try and share my random thoughts, which helps me in delivering my misgivings, a blog which helps me when no one else does. This blogging community gives me so much pleasure, everyday. And, most of all you guys, everyone of you, give me so much pleasure, that I cannot begin to thank you. You people have always been here with me, and a big THANK YOU for this. For being with me, for trying to understand this deranged mind, for bearing my ever not-so-tranquil thoughts, and for trying to put sense into me sometimes, for trying to show me the right path.

THANK YOU!!!!

I am really happy today, so happy that it cannot be measured.

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However, I do intend to keep moving on this very path, for how long I know not, but this is the plan; for now!!

Once again, thank you to all of you for just being there, and accompanying me in this journey. Without you, this wouldn’t even be a journey.

PS: This is how I celebrated last year:- A year passed by!

 

WordPress World.

People just drift away, don’t they?

I took refuge in the world of writing and blogging, thinking that everything will be different here. And yes, it was! I have loved here always.

But just like the real world, I have lost some of the virtual friends too. When I started blogging, I did not know anyone here, and there were few people who would be always here for me, would read my posts, let me know how they feel about it. I loved reading their blogs too. But where are they?

They seem to have just vanished. I keep visiting their blogs- no recent posts! I fill up a comment on the “Contact us” page, but there is no reply. I guess they have just stopped blogging.

Then there are people who just vanish away, because of the wordpress glitches, I though they had gone away too, until of course I open my spam folder only to know they have been always there. Seriously, what is up with this spam thing?

So before I find anyone else missing from this virtual world, I’d just want to say thank you for always listening to my ramblings. You do mean a lot to me whether I say it or not!

And also please keep checking your spam folders! (Just in case!)

 

My pen pal

Very few of us have the opportunity to connect with wonderful people. I am one of them. I have had the opportunity to connect and know one of the lovely souls here, Angel Clough. She is one lovely woman and is progressing tremendously with her book. I have had this chance of meeting her and talking to her about various things like our different cultures, religions and even our interests. She has been very helping lately. Her vivid experience has helped me a lot and she keeps sharing her various experiences with me. The best thing she ever told me was I should keep a journal and it is sure going to help in recording all of my experiences.

She has a wonderful website going where she blogs and writes about her book. It is quite intriguing. She is writing a book about pen pals, but come to think of it she has become one of my pen-pals.

Her link is: https://angelclough.com/

Check it out, it will just hook you up.

 

Why I love blogging?

I started this blog for no specific reason, apart from the fact that I was drifting away from what I loved, writing and reading and also the reason that I wanted to be in a world where I could be me and not the ‘pretentious me’. I wanted a world, a sphere where I could find myself and get answers to few of my mental ramblings. I may not have the answers to all of my weird and cryptic musings but over these past few months I have come to love this blogosphere.

I love blogging. I love the people here, every single one of you. My love is present not only because you read, follow, comment, like my posts, but I love you guys because you are there, which more often than not people who are physically present in my life fail to do it for me. May be I expect too much, but I think I love you guys more 😉

Anyways, I just love blogging. I love to be myself which most of the times; I cannot in my real life for the constant fear of being rejected and being misinterpreted. I love blogging, for there are people here who are just like me, who expect nothing from this tiny special world and in return are ready to provide all they can. I love blogging because people here understand each other and are not judgemental as ***

I love blogging cause no one here knows me and yet is always present for me. No one knows me apart from the fact that my name is Moushmi Radhanpara and that is it. And yet there is a connection. I love the fact that without any other evidence my dear friends are ready to be with me, participate with me, talk to me, indulge with me, and all they need to know is my name and my blog address. They do not demand my background, my education, my cultural background and goes the societal list.

I will not emphasise on any fellow blogger who would be close to me, as that would just be very partial. Everyone is special to me and I love you all.

I love blogging as I am myself here and all of us are ‘one’.