Tag Archives: chances

Forgetting To Live.

When I was young, like a very small kid, I wanted to grow old, not like my grandma or grandpa old, but old like my elder brother. So that I could have the chances which he had, so that I could do what he could do.

Then when I thought I was like my brother, how old he used to be, then I wanted to grow older than him, so that I could live how he lived, without anyone bossing over me.

When I was really old, like you know the recent adult? I wanted to become someone who was stable, with a proper job, and all that, you know.

Then, I was old, like you know who had a job, and a little money, and something, and then I wanted to have a family of my own. I wanted to be the one whom I saw on the street the other day, the one with a husband, and two cute little children.

When I was the one with the cute little children, I wanted to be the one that I saw from across my house, you know the old lady cribbing at her old man, for not doing something, for not understanding her, and yet how you could tell that they had grown old together.

Then when I was that old lady, I wanted yet something else. I wanted to be the free individual who lived next door, so that I could travel like him.

And then I wanted something else too…..

 

My point being, all our lives we keep wanting things. We want, and we want. We are never satisfied, ad we never will be. May be, we want something and we get it, and then we don’t want it anymore. May be we do get it and now we want something else. We keep pining for things we don’t have, never relishing what we actually have. We keep trying to push ourselves to get more, not realizing that in the process we are losing what we have.

We keep wanting to live in a way, never realizing that we are forgetting to actually live in the life that we are supposed to be living.

 

I Am Tired!!

I am literally tired right now, not only mentally but also physically. My mind and my body fail to work anymore. I do not even wish to move a little bit more, even a very little to get what I want. I am at a point where I will just let it go, if anything has to go. I am simply tired.

Some might say that may be if I do not lose hope right now, if I do not let things go, maybe there is a possibility that I might get it right around the corner. Well, may be yes and may be no. I don’t even want to know the answer.

I am not losing hope, hope is what keeps us alive, I just do not want to wait and be restless any longer.

I am happy right here, with what I have and how I am.

What’s wrong with being content?

As of now, with my being exhausted and weary, I am spoiling myself, pampering with all the tasty food and loads of sleep, with cups and cups of coffee and books, with zero thoughts and a big reasonless smile. (The last time I did that I gained 10kgs, let’s see what happens this time 😉 )

And that is how I am awfully drained and yet content.