Tag Archives: feeling blessed

Innocence!

I am not a very huge fan of children,

Overwhelming as they always leave me,

Fearing, exhausted, and hidden.

Despite which they have never failed

To wipe my tears,

Into smiles and cheers.

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A year passed by!

How hard is blogging according to you?

Of course I’d expect various answers; one among them would most certainly be that it is extremely time consuming. I agree to it. I wouldn’t lie and most of the times there isn’t enough time really. And that is the first and foremost reason that I failed at blogging!

Yeah, if you consider this site as ‘not failed’ then I would like to tell you that this is not my only try at being in the blogging community. I started my very first blog when I was in my first year of college, absolutely the wrong time for me. I scribbled there for a whole year, where basically no one read what I wrote, apart from a couple of friends who knew me already. Eventually, it became a personal diary for me when I hid my site from public, making it a private site. And now it’s no longer there. I completely deleted it. So that was my first fail!

Then came this site, yes, you heard it right! I opened this site last year, somewhere around March or April; I did a few posts, and tried a little something about being heard. Post two months, I deleted this site too but I kept the domain, and never really removed the entire account. So that was my second fail.

I was really worried at the fail. I mean I don’t like failure, honestly who does? I have tried a lot of things and except for mathematics and Accounts I have never been a failure, and that’s when it struck me that I really couldn’t deal with it.

So that’s how I started this blog which I am writing on today, last August. Today I complete a whole year of blogging. I don’t know about failing or not, I think I certainly didn’t let this one go. As of now I  have 230 posts and more than 22000 views, 11000 visitors and a set of followers who really appreciate my work and motivate me.  I don’t know, you tell me how have I been doing? I do not believe in numbers and yet here I am putting forward the numbers. Why? Because I have been trained to do so, we need marks everywhere to pass exams, we need a certain cut off to enter a competitive exams. Intelligence isn’t important, marks and numbers are. But please don’t judge me by the marks. Tell me honestly.

Since the last year that I wrote “I am still finding myself”, there have been some changes.  I wouldn’t say that the questions have disappeared altogether but I have some answers now. But I am yet to find the rest.

Also, just so I don’t lose hope, and don’t start fading away just when I realised that I am here since a year, I put myself in a zone. I tried it last month too, but I couldn’t complete it due to network issues in my area (no excuses), so now may be August is my month. I tried to scribble something every single day, not to increase my stats, not for the number of posts, not for anything else, just for myself. Might as well help me in some way. I don’t know what I was trying to prove to myself, but I did it is a challenge and so far I have not missed a day this month.

And yes, thank you to all you lovely people for joining me in the journey, without you all, every single one of you; this wouldn’t even be a journey.

A year older! A year wiser?

Yesterday, I turned a year older, or to say a year wiser?

Any which ways this specific day has always been overwhelming to me, not only in positive circumstances but otherwise too.

This day, I realise sometimes my importance in other’s life. I know how much they mean to me and I make it clear too, in some way or the other but I get to know my significance on this day. (There are a lot of other reasons other than wishing me for my birthday)

It’s not about wishing me a “happy birthday”, it is after all just my birthday. But it is about just remembering me. There were many people who did forget me, and did make me a little uncomfortable, made me wonder as to why was I losing people year after year.

I just realised yesterday that I always say that I am searching myself, but in that quest I am also losing people. That is the price I am paying.

Anyways, this post isn’t about them, it is about those lovely souls who made my day “magical”. 😉

And I could not believe my eyes when those warm wishes touched my heart. Yes, my friends and family did wish me, but there was an unexpected turn when wishes from the virtual world came pouring in.

First off, dear Elizabeth, thanks a lot for your warm wishes here, the messages and the tweets, it did mean a lot to me. You basically wished me at every possible virtual place, not to forget your virtual hug and that LOUD singing of the birthday song. Your voice isn’t that bad, you know.

Then there were unexpected tweets from fellow bloggers kalyan and shivam. Thank you both of you for those lovely wishes.

Had it been a year before now, I wouldn’t have believed that I’d have virtual friends, that too such lovely people.

Apart from this, you know what I loved? Bhavna, a special friend of mine, she made me feel so special, I just love her a lot. And yes, one more thing, Mr. Yadu, he wrote me such a wonderful poem, I couldn’t believe my eyes, staring at that message. Thanks a ton for that too! I mean, a poem? For me? Oh my god!!

There were a lot of things that I could go on thanking for, but I don’t want to make it a thank you note. So I’ll stop here.

But I need to say one more thing, the thing that has made me even happier, the best thing that happened to me last week apart from the poem of course! So all week long, I kept getting packets from a courier company; and you know what it revealed? What it had hidden beneath?

Books! Novels!

What could just make it any better? It counted to a total of 16 books!!!!! The last package delivered to me yesterday, containing 7 books.

And I am just so happy now, what other gift could have been better for me?

So may be a little wiser after all.