Tag Archives: hopes

Forgetting To Live.

When I was young, like a very small kid, I wanted to grow old, not like my grandma or grandpa old, but old like my elder brother. So that I could have the chances which he had, so that I could do what he could do.

Then when I thought I was like my brother, how old he used to be, then I wanted to grow older than him, so that I could live how he lived, without anyone bossing over me.

When I was really old, like you know the recent adult? I wanted to become someone who was stable, with a proper job, and all that, you know.

Then, I was old, like you know who had a job, and a little money, and something, and then I wanted to have a family of my own. I wanted to be the one whom I saw on the street the other day, the one with a husband, and two cute little children.

When I was the one with the cute little children, I wanted to be the one that I saw from across my house, you know the old lady cribbing at her old man, for not doing something, for not understanding her, and yet how you could tell that they had grown old together.

Then when I was that old lady, I wanted yet something else. I wanted to be the free individual who lived next door, so that I could travel like him.

And then I wanted something else too…..

 

My point being, all our lives we keep wanting things. We want, and we want. We are never satisfied, ad we never will be. May be, we want something and we get it, and then we don’t want it anymore. May be we do get it and now we want something else. We keep pining for things we don’t have, never relishing what we actually have. We keep trying to push ourselves to get more, not realizing that in the process we are losing what we have.

We keep wanting to live in a way, never realizing that we are forgetting to actually live in the life that we are supposed to be living.

 

The Romantic Sun

The sun was almost down with crimson hue in it. It was half hiding behind the tall hill and half smiling at me. It was the time of dusk and yet it was bright and shiny. It wasn’t blinding me rather giving me a lovely look, assuring me that he would be back tomorrow. He will be and I can trust him. I know that. He goes with a promise and comes back with a promise of a beautiful day, a lovely start, a new beginning. Where, if we cannot erase our past at least we can correct them. It brings us hope.

I stare into the eyes of sun as if falling in love with him, I cannot see anything but his glaring eyes. I know he is too powerful, he can have it over anyone, he has the charm, I know! His charisma blows my mind and all I can think of is his coming again. He cannot be long gone. I will miss him. He is almost behind the hill, almost gone and yet I stay to look at his last rays, savour every last glimpse of him.

I can still picture him with my closed eyes and I know he will be back soon. Just as I open my eyes I see no evidence of his ever being there. Rather I see a half moon on the sky now, stark white and I know that it’s time to finally bid adieu. It’s the time of all the romantics. They will come and cherish the moon and sing songs for the beloved and look at the stars and will make promises to each other. Yes it’s good all the same.

I know moon is always connoted with the romantic notion but what about sun? Isn’t it beautiful too? It has its own unique charm and I love it. I love the romantic sun.