“Sometimes you just need to talk to a four year old and an eighty-four year old to understand life again.”
Any volunteers in throwing some insight on the thing called “life”? 😉
Remember Monica and how clean freak she was?
Yep, I am compared to her often. And I have to admit that I am pretty much the same. I will crib when I will see that I have to sleep on the wrong side of the bed, or when the coffee cup is kept on the table without a coaster, and things like that. Things, which no one bothers about.
But she also has that door. Remember, which no one knew for so long and when eventually it was opened; it had all kinds of garbage stuffed inside. Yep, I have that too. Well, it’s not a door, I have a big box full of old things, which my folks call unused, unwanted garbage. But I call it memories. Yes, I have stuff in there, which I will never use in my life, and yet I refuse to depart with them. Things from my nursery days, to yesterday! From crayons, to mementos from every place I have been to, memories with all kinds of people I love and care about!
So, come Diwali, my people will pester me to clear at least something away, and every year I pretend to clean something out, only I never throw anything out. I make space, I cram things, but I have not yet discarded anything, and nor do I have any such intentions for near future. So today, I sit and pretend just like every year, to clear things out, to clean my room. (The irony is, it’s already cleaned, but since it’s Diwali, I still have to do it!) So, I am utilizing my Sunday this way, and I run across some really old stuff!! This stuff I haven’t met in a few years now!
I open that box full of memories,
I take out everything, crayons, to paints, to some Barbie accessories, to slam books, to school photographs, to college memories..
There is a list, I will not bother you with.
A book comes out,
It’s a novel.
I don’t remember reading it.
The blurb brushes my memory.
Yeah, I have read it.
But it wasn’t my favorite.
It was a book read and forgotten!
Then why did I find it here?
I drank that old book smell!!
And as if it was magic, I knew why it was there!!
Blushing would have gone too far.
But I smiled, all the same.
And closed the book shut.
Not sure whether to go ahead and look at it.
I hold that book for a while, turning and twisting.
Trying to figure out my next move.
Oh what the hell, there’s no bomb inside.
I go ahead and open it.
I couldn’t find it.
My heart literally, literally skips a beat.
WHAT THE HELL!!
Where is it?
What did I do with it?
Didn’t you say you were going to throw it, anyway?
Yeah, but I said so, I didn’t do it.
So where is it?
I scan the pages frantically, and just when I am about to burst (I don’t know with what) I find it.
And there is a big smile on my face.
I don’t deserve that smile.
That smile isn’t anymore mine.
I don’t even want that smile back.
But I smile anyways.
And I close my eyes and get drunk
Drunk in that stale smell of books, and words,
Of love and feelings,
Of that naivety and all the firsts.
I brush away the tears,
Pretending to be sneezing amidst the dusts.
I sober up from my past,
And I smile anyway.
This is what I find there:
I know you can’t even make out what this is!
But it’s special all the same.
Years have passed by,
People have come and gone,
Feelings have changed,
Oh, the people have changed,
I have changed,
But this still remains special.
I smell that old smell one last time,
Tuck it inside the book again,
And close it as delicately s possible.
I don’t want it to rust,
Not now, anyway.
And read a couplet, that I attached in the midst of the pages,
That last time, I had an encounter with this.
Vaqt beet te der nahi lagti,
Umra guzar gayi, kai saal beet gaye,
Par tujse mulaqaat kabhi fir hui nahi.
Aaj fir mila hai wo tera diya nazrana,
Jise ab tak sambhal k rakha hai,
Kuch murja sa gaya hai,
Par ab tak apna sa lagta hai.
Jazbaat, ehsaas, shayad badal gaye honge
Tere, aur shayad mere bhi.
Teri ibaadat ki umeed nahi, Sirf ek unkahi arzoo hai,
Isilye is murjaye gulaab ko bhi ab tak sambhal k rakha hai!
I close the book.
I pack the box.
And put it away.
I know not till when!
PS: I will hit publish before I change my mind about publishing the Hindi lines. I know it’s not great, it’s novice, and very childlike. But I presume that we all do these kind of stuff once in a while 😀
The bond that we share
Is really very special,
It is the warmth, the love, the care,
That exceeds all level.
Your unshared, unconditional love
Has still, never been enough,
The humane wish of always wanting more,
Has left me without you; hollow to the core.
I replay in my mind
The unintentional, inconsequential fights.
I laugh aloud,
With tears in my eyes.
Do you remember the reason of our squabbles?
I, for one can remember no such troubles.
All the memories that rushes through,
Pictures our happiness true.
Sweet savourings shared together,
Has not reached me this un-fateful year.
Would you have missed me today?
What a wrong question I have come to say.
It isn’t just sad
That this Rakhi, I am not with you,
Don’t get mad,
But I am still happy for you.
We have never settled
Not on a single thing,
But the love inclines,
That keeps us always stringed.
This may be a new endeavor
But my dear, always remember,
The bond that we share,
Is really very special,
It is the warmth, the love, the care,
That exceeds all level.
A little something, something very naive and simple, for my precious brother who is not with me on this special occasion of ‘Raksha Bandhan’
I don’t say it, and I won’t say it, but you must know, that I do love you.
I will kick you, I will fight with you, and I will also love you but that is only my right. If someone else even tries to hurt you, he/she will have to pay for it!! I mean it!!
Originally posted on August 7th, 2018.
This is something weird.
This post is a simple compilation of a few news articles, which I have come to read in the last week starting 27th of July.
27th of July
28th of July
30th Of July
31st of July
3rd of August
And since I missed one day in the midst, I will compensate that with something I read online, which if it is true then my friend, I am not sure where we are headed.
Do you have anything to say on this?
I know I am not doing here anything worthwhile, because the place where I am even trying to spread the word, is decent enough and full of chivalry. But I don’t know what else to do. I don’t!! And honestly, sometimes I feel helpless about it. I mean everyday I open the newspaper and every single day, without fail, I read something of this sort, something related to molestation, some news related to harassment, some news relating rape, some cases, of rape, bondage and murder. And my friend, if the last pice of information is true, which I am hoping against all hopes that it be untrue, then I don’t know where we are headed, I seriously don’t.
Yes, I am old school, and I still read newspapers, instead of apps, but that does not prevent me from coming across some other famous cases going around which somehow don’t hit the newspapers. But the point here isn’t newspapers, the point is, that these things are happening. And I am pretty sure that only few reach the headlines, even fewer reach the newspapers, and even very fewer reach to the police. and sadly lesser than all of them are solved, or acted upon.
If someone is going to say that this is only in your part of the world, then I am seriously going to lose it, because that will be a simple lie. It will be. There is no place, no city, no village, spared here. Agreed, some states have higher ratio of harassment and molestation cases than others, but the point is not less or more, the point is it is still there!!!
What do I do?
As of now, I know I will do what most people here will say, to look into the brighter matters of these cases being solved. And I will. yes, why not? Didn’t I just read that a student speaks up agains her teacher? Didn’t I just read that a man was sentenced for 10 whole years for brutally raping a minor, a child, who might never come out of this trauma? 10 WHOLE YEARS!!!! Now that’s progress. Didn’t I just read that a woman cried for help from a moving car, when her husband and she both were in trouble? She screamed for help, now that’s progress, for before women were even scared to open up about such instances, and would drink away all her remorse. Didn’t I read that a 17 year old’s rape was recorded, may be someone will somehow know the recorder and will get to him, surely May be!! And of course there was a death penalty for a man who raped and murdered his teacher. Sure there is a positive side to it all. I agree and I will look into it my friend. And of course will not forget to remember that a pregnant goat died too, because it was gang-raped by a few men!! (I still can’t just digest this news.) What good what is it doing any ways to our society?
But yeah, coming to the positive side to all of it, yes, I will look into the positive sides, and see how we as a human race are progressing.
Cheers to our development, and evolvement.
In today’s times when a human is just as scared of other humans, this little man, is basking and relaxing in the midst of the street, shunning away all his fears from all sorts of beings.
The irony is, men tend to fight and crib with the others, but they are careful enough to avoid this man and are zooming past him. Okay, there is a little more traffic because of this but the intention is respected.
If only humans would be just as sensitive towards each others too.
Well, at least this ‘little man’ is having a good siesta today, caring about nothing in the world, and making this whole street, his territory.
I am pretty sure he feels like a king, with nothing to be called his, and yet so much gallantry at disposal.
The situation usually one deals with is that where, as a human, you create a problem, then worry over it, then scale the said problem, then you work it out and then finally you get it done with. The problem is then forgotten, learnt from and in the distant past soon. That is the usual plan, right, when it comes to dealing with your problems in life, big or small?
But off late I have been acquainted with another problem, or should I say a problem of looking at this problem matter? Very recently I have been analysing it differently. Yes, we all have problems, I get it. No one’s life is a cake-walk. But now I know there could be another situation too, another very raw way to look at the said problems. In this second situation, as a human you create problems, then worry over it, then scale it with all your other problems, weight the importance of this problem, and then before even solving it, you scale your problems with someone else’s problems, then you realise that your problem may not be of even a little worth in comparison to the other persons’. Then guilt pricks you, gnaws at you, crawls all over you, to even think about your problem as a problem. Then, that guilt becomes your problem, for even thinking that you had a problem when all this while other people have real important matters to look into. And finally, with that guilt, comes back your first problem, and you start wondering how do you even define this problem as a problem? You want to let it go, without calling it a crisis, but it knock you back down and doesn’t let you get up until you call it with its previous name, ‘the problem’.
So the second situation has two problems, and no solution? The guilt keeps haunting you, and then somehow you just move on? You have no solution because, solutions are meant for problems, but you constantly reject the idea of it being called a problem. How can you? You have seen worst and now you want to fuss over your little princess problems? But unless you try and get it done with you just have to keep dealing with the problems….
I have no idea what I have written above here. But honestly, if you get me, what can a person possibly do in such a situation?
We have come to live in such a society, among such people that you don’t expect people to really care these days. And when someone shows or even tries to show that he or she cares, it is so surprising that we need a moment to sit back and think about what just happened.
I have come to believe and assume that people in general really are selfish and mean, and also so very self obsessed, but once in a while I do come across so polite and selfless people that I have to sit back and think what and how it just happened? It takes me back, with so much surprise that all my mind asks is, “How was this person so nice? And more importantly, Why?”
It doesn’t matter if the person is helpful of not, all it matters is the intention of that person. Most people have just forgot to be simply nice.