Tag Archives: humour

Moorings.

 

Weekends shouldn’t be about going out, partying, trashing, shopping, dining, and tiring yourself. They should be about the things that you would want to do otherwise. It should be about, well, honestly my answer changes as frequently as the illogical and unwanted threats, thrown by people who might run a country and yet wouldn’t know how to run a country. So, if you asked me last month what are weekends for, I would have told you the very thing that I denied when I began writing this. I would scream and holler in insta accent “Partay” or “friyay” but this weekend was the reflection of the other shades of me. All I wanted to do was to sit at home, avoid people and read. I did everything else but this.

 

So with a sullen and putrid mood I met a friend and we were waiting for our Uber when she tells me “phones inside”. This was supposed to be our one on one so no phones were allowed. Okay, I wasn’t looking at my phone. And she was the one who had this habit. But I was the one who was being told to keep it inside. I didn’t have a bag or a wallet on me. I had the needed cash in my pockets and thanks to the sizes of the new phones, my phone won’t fit in my pockets. So I said. And so she indicated at her own pockets when I refused to do anything about it. I thought what the hell, is she wearing her boyfriends’ pants? I mean no other way did her phone fit in there. I wonder why is this? I mean why do they do this? Why do men’s pants have pockets the size, which can fit a wallet, keys, sanitizer, kerchief, condoms, phones and what not. I have seen men carrying almost everything that women do, there is nothing different. Yes, except from a sanitary pad, I guess the needs are pretty much the same. Then why in the name of God do they do this to us poor souls? Not all women like carrying bags just as not every man likes not carrying a bag. So, yeah, my friend, she indicated that she could fit her phone in her pocket so I did ask her why and how. She said, this is what you get for not going after brand names and gave me a wink. So now I was wrong in wearing a branded pair of denim! Great!!!

 

But this pocket and bags thing remind me of one other thing. I guess big pockets or not I think I should start carrying a bag always. I mean there is the possibility of my mom calling me here and now and asking me to bring so and so and so things. I tell you the list goes on. Tell me why is it that moms need so much stuff from stores. Okay, don’t tell me. I have asked this a million times and I have got the same answer. You will know when you become a mom. Believe you me, I am in no hurry! Yeah, so she calls me randomly and then there is this store called reliance fresh on my way and I go in and buy those things on the whatsapp message that my mom stresses on sending despite the fact that she just called me and then I realize that I don’t have anything to carry this in. So I ask for a bag and he generously adds 14 bucks for it. This could happen to you too. I remind myself that the next time I am not leaving my house without a bag. I mean yeah sometimes you forget to carry bags, and then the stores make you pay for it and then it is all-fine. But 14 bucks for a plain ‘jhola’ isn’t what I intend on paying again.

 

But that ‘jhola’ and its gloomy look is still better than the goofy smile that that boy gives me on the third floor of my building. He is new. Just shifted. I hate it when they bring such tenants. And by such I mean bachelors. Not that these bachelors are disturbing. Far from it. They are dull bloody boring engineers and I hate it. I hate them not because they live a life of a bachelor but because they are bored engineers who have nothing in their lives except for work. I see them going early in the mornings, dressed formally and return in the night with such dead looks as if nothing is left in their lives. I pity them. But the pity lasts only till I see one of them with that big bright smile of his. Why? Why does he creep me out? And since he is a neighbor now I am forced to smile back which leads to an even bigger smile. Okay fine so from now I am going to avoid coming and going when he comes. Yes, that’s what I am going to do.

 

But I don’t like how he looks. I mean not how he looks-looks, I mean how empty he looks. As if he has nothing left in his life except for work. I have heard him talk over the phone sometimes, dull mundane talks, not that I was spying. He was in his verandah. I was in mine. He was loud enough. I tell you, he could be nothing more than 30 and the way he lives! I guess isolation does that to people. Yes, it must be isolation. That friend of mine? With whom I was waiting for an uber she has made me believe 100% that you mess up your own life when you are so lonely. It makes you do things that a sane mind would otherwise not do. Yes that is it, he is and my friend is lonely! But who isn’t today. Aren’t we all living in the phase where we have only happy pictures not a happy life?

 

Yes, that is true. The 15 year old who put a picture of his new haircut, with that ‘lit’ emoji tags his picture with the quote, “life is hard.” So it must be. Yes, it definitely must be. Life is lonely and hard. So do you think I should become a matchmaker and make my friend meet this engineer guy? Could work, right? I should believe so.

 

But then people believe in a lot of things these days. The man following me on the road the other day must have thought so. I mean he must have really believed that something could happen here, between him and me. Only then would he have driven around town, wasting his fuel, for a whole 30 minutes in the same area again and again. God! It took him 30 minutes to realize that I wasn’t going to stop driving until he stopped following. What was I? Some frenzied woman who would show him way to my home? No! So, I kept driving here and there and he kept following. I wonder how his mind was working? That he would follow me to my home and then since he will have my address he will come to my place again and again and then just like it happens in romantic movies, I will blush and smile and fall for him? I guess so. I think this is the only explanation, only hope for which he must have wasted his life’s 30 minutes after me.

 

Hey, this reminds me the other day I went on my walk and saw someone following me. A very old uncle this time. I was creped. He smiled too. Look at the audacity. But as soon as he passed me it struck me. He wasn’t smiling in a way I was thinking; he was a very old man. He was a guard someplace. I knew him. Yes, it struck me then that he was the guard at my old school and I didn’t smile back. He was the cute guard who held our hands and helped crossed the roads. And I didn’t recognize him, I didn’t smile back. I didn’t even acknowledge him. And so now I am one of those snobs who forget those cute people as they grow up. At least he must think so. See, these pervs do this to you. Ruin every other man for you in every possible way.

 

But among all of this there is something good too. I mean of course our world if full of people whom I (I don’t know about you) abhor but there are little perks of joy in and around too. So as I was telling you about my walks, I have missed something about it of late. There is the cutest little girl who ties two pony tails and stand beside her dad everyday at the same place, same time, waiting for her school bus, looking right in front of her with such command and precision that I’d be mad not to admire her. There is something about that look, command may be or endurance? But as soon as she sees me she will be smiling back at me as if there was no other look in the world that she knows. Her dad once asked her, “Who are you smiling at, Do you know her?” And she just said, “That di”. I mean isn’t she cute. I hope she doesn’t do this with everyone though. Her dad smiles back too since then. But they had been missing since so many days. They are back! Yeaaaaaa they are back and that smile is back. I didn’t realize till now how much I had been habituated to her. My walks have been better since the return of my waving friend.

 

But don’t you think one day this is going to stop. Either I will stop going to walks on that route or she will start driving to school herself. She doesn’t look far from that age. I guess that is how this works, isn’t it. I mean of course nothing is permanent except change. This brings me to another question, if nothing is permanent then what about love? Isn’t it the only thing that doesn’t wither? Isn’t true love the only thing that can beat and overcome anything? Who am I to say? What would I know? You tell me!

 

But then again who would know anything of true love, I wouldn’t. Would you? Hard to say. I mean I saw three relationships breaking in the last week. In just one week I saw three couples go their way, couples who had been together for years, couples who were mature and immature. One of them, a couple I mean has been dragging their drama to me too. This couple generously falls in the category of immature. Well, that is how I see it. So yeah, they have been dragging and pulling at threads and I am stuck in between. Initially, it is fine you know. You think they are your friends ad it would be only good if you could kick some little sense in their rusty mind, but no they won’t get it. They will carry every drab fight to you, as if they are the kids and I am the parent. So I got fed up and wanted to scream, “Dude, if I wanted this kind of drama in my life, I would be in this sort of a relationship myself. I don’t want this shona-babu-baby which is why I am not in this kind of a relationship. Please…. Let me be. I was not in that relationship, you were, I cannot do anything, you can.” But I guess troubled minds don’t get this simple language. Well, but if they don’t get such simple things then why do they get in a relationship? Why do they play the game called feelings?

 

Oh, I got carried away, didn’t I? Became too philosophical, did it? Okay, don’t answer that. I know you won’t. Because even you don’t have any answers. I know you don’t. Well at least my cousin makes me realize that you don’t, I don’t, no one has these answers. Drunk on self-pity after crying for a whole half hour I decided I’ll call her and vent everything that’s bottled within. But before I could muster a dreary and mucus filled hello she started crying! Okay, old story Moushmi! Clear your head and start listening, this doesn’t sound good! Something’s up. And so just like every time you shut up and listen making yourself believe that it is probably for the best not to talk to anyone about it. So, yeah don’t even think about it again. But boy, is she messed up! Well, didn’t I say messed up people and solitariness makes people do things, weird things! Anyways, who am I to judge?

 

By the way, judgment reminds me of one thing. The thing because of which I stared writing this.  No, no not the weekend plans. But my kind of weekend for this week. Books. Enough with the ramblings, and before you kill me let me jump straight, without any glitches in between and without any diversion that could hinder my asking you this very small petite question. What do you do if you don’t like the book that you are reading? I mean I am always torn between leaving the book that I start disbelieving in and my love for reading, simply saying, “They are books, how can you leave them midway?” So far in my entire life there has been only one book that I have left after 100 pages and I don’t even remember which book it was. Isn’t life too short to waste on books that you start disliking? But then again, how do you know if you like it or not unless you read it. But what if you not only don’t like it, you hate it, and you just don’t believe in what the author is saying, he/she is just going round and round and round without making a point just as I am doing with this post? So, yeah enough with this merry go round, I will stop here, and ask you if it is often that you leave a book midway? Or do you suck it and finish it and then judge the author and the book. I know by using the word ‘judge’ I am giving you the full liberty to judge me, but you are going to do this anyway, right? So judge away and let me know about the books. The next time I am leaving a book after a mere 50 pages, there might be less guilt within me, guilt of leaving someone, just as someone else (may be you) might want to leave me. So if you are not one of those who got bored midway and have reached this far you know my question, and I’ll be waiting for your answer.

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A Weekday Musings!

You don’t like mornings, especially early mornings and then you have to wake up one fine weekday as early as 4:00 and your groggy-self hates everything. You drag yourself off the bed, get dressed and open your eyes only to the whiff of coffee. 1 sip and you are okay, 2ndsip and you think you’ll bare the longest day, 3rdsip and you know you have no other choice. So you breathe the longest breath of the day and paste an unsolicited smile, only to realize it’s already 5:15 and you need to rush so as to not to miss the train. Moushmi, RUN!

 

The next 4 hours are going to be arduous, with sitting in a chair car, next to your family, when they will be gossiping about this and that, and your brother will be dozing off, when the vendors will move past you in the aisle, making you wonder why exactly do you chose the aisle seat, when your thoughts will run fast, faster than the train is supposed to be moving. So much for a super-fast express train!

 

And so, to save yourself from your own thoughts you turn to your over-emphasized sling bag and take out the book that you are reading, not giving heed to the glares of other people around you. As it happens the book that you are reading diverts more than your thoughts. Your thoughts have a chain, Ishmael, the protagonist is even sooner to drop the chain and ramble on and on! After a while you are bored and you have the urgent need to drop the book, drop his ramblings, drop your thoughts and just turn off.

 

Turn off you do, and the next time you turn to your wristwatch, it is 10:25. You should have reached by now, technically. But your train is late and now you are fidgety. You have been sitting in the same position for four hours and you are tired, simply from sitting. You want to get up, move, walk, run- away from everything, because you know just how the day is going to go. In a swift, yes, but that swift is going to disrupt your peace of mind even further. You are already clinging on to loose threads of peace now; the threads are just going to get looser.

 

10:50 and you are crawling through the station. As you get down, the swarm of people wanting to get their butt off that sinking train blasts past you and you just mingle with them, towards a taxi booth. You reach the longest line that you have seen and then you switch to the post paid taxi booth where the crowd is thinner. You reach to end of the line, only to realize that the people standing in front of you are familiar. The bell rings at the back of your mind, and you know they are your friends!

 

They are your friends from way back, you have known them since ages, they were, sorry, are important. You want to approach them, but you are already blank, you know what are they going to ask you, what will they want to know about you, you know that you are supposed to make a move, talk to them, you want to do that too, but then you just don’t have the energy to do that. It is 11 in the morning and you don’t have the energy? What the hell are you talking about? They are the friends with whom you used to hang out almost everyday. What happened? What just happened? They see you, they are smiling, they are waving and that unsolicited smile is already back on your face and you are returning their ‘Hi’. But that is it; there is nothing more. You want to say so much more, you want to, but as I said there is no energy left. You just smile once more, thank that the taxi that you have been waiting for has arrived and just jump into it. You stink Moushmi!

 

What happened! Really what just happened! Why have you been transforming into this lame person? Why, exactly are you losing your cheery self. Life is good! There are people who have real suffering and they are still battling the war, what the hell is wrong with you! Why exactly you are losing the luster? Why the distant approach to everything? Sure, people get busy, it’s not their fault, life happens. Yeah, that’s the point life happens! You have lost the luster for life; you have lost the luster to live! Or did life lose you?

 

The taxi moves on, and your empty stomach grumbles from within and you just don’t care. You have reached your home; at least you are supposed to be calling this home too. It’s a relative’s place, actually. Anyways, you have reached home and you haven’t even opened your shoes yet, when that tiniest little kid, whom you have not met in ages rushes at you, literally stumbles upon your legs, jumps on you and demands to be taken up in your arms. Well, what choice do you have? You pick him up, and without any exchange of words, that angel of a person plants a chaste, barely audible kiss on your cheek! What else do you need? Like a fool you melt, and think to yourself, “What is wrong with you, you don’t even drool over kids so much!”

 

Okay, its over and you hide the lump in your throat, the family members come across at you like a swarm of bees, and you want to avoid each one of them, but you know you can’t so you brace yourself with phony smiles and words of love that you don’t know were where, when you needed them in front of your friends!

 

The day goes on! The festivities and laughter and food stretch all day long. There is only one person whom you can barely talk honestly too, or as far honest as you can get. Honest is a weighty word here, let’s go with real! So you sit down and talk your tired hearts out to each other, all the while knowing so much is still unsaid behind those fake laughing eyes. But you don’t press in the fear of being pressed too. You tag along. She is so young and so dead, you think, but not so dead too. That kid, you remember? She is her mother! She is younger than me, well only six months, but she is married and she has this kid and she says she is happy. You know you wouldn’t want that kind of a life for yourself, yet as you see her “fulfilling the duties” of a daughter-in-law you get a tinge of jealousy in yourself. Actually, it comes rushing when that kid does something but all the same you are jealous and it is exchanged with guilt then and you want to run away!

 

Run away, you do! You have a reason to get something from the nearest store, and you run as fast as you can, your shoes digging in your heels. But you let that happen anyway. The next day there are going to be three sores there, but you will think about that later!

 

It is then, that you realize that you have literally lost your mind getting jealous at nothing, at someone’s life you don’t even like!

 

You can’t roam about the entire day when there are people relying on you for something, in this case that ‘thing’ you went to buy. Oh, you forgot that thing in running and head back again, buy it and stroll home! It’s teatime and you are looking at the clock, ticking one second at a time, waiting for 7 so that you can go back to that dreaded train and return to the actual home. The tea, the talks, the people, nothing helps in peace, not the things that they keep discussing about, not how they consider it and not even that they are doing it in front of me. You tag along, smiling from time to time.

 

Languidly, taking its own time the clock strikes 6:50 and it takes more than 10 minutes to finally say our goodbyes and then there is no taxi downstairs. Neither is an Ola/Uber around. After a while one of them finally shows respite and a taxi comes after another 10 minutes. We are losing time but the driver isn’t. He refuses to converse in Hindi or English, all the while talking in his mother tongue. You can tell he can understand both the languages pretty well, but he just doesn’t want to make it easier for you. Then he tells you that you have put the wrong destination and so he’ll drop you a good 10 minutes walk from the railway station. Everyone is too tired to argue, but you just can’t go with anymore wrong. So you tell him that if the destination was wrong then why is the GPS still telling him to head east and continue for 1km to reach the said destination. He grunts but he heads on! You pay him in cash and he bluntly tells you in his mother tongue that he won’t give a single rupee change. You are done with wrong for the day; you are tired and done. You take the money back and waste another 5 minutes fumbling in everyone’s pockets for change and pay him the exact amount. You don’t care if it looks meager but you don’t pay him a single rupee more!

 

You walk to the platform, as expected the train is late and you sit on deserted seat, munching on a sandwich which is supposed to be your dinner. It’s not the best but it will have to do!

 

All your seats are middle or top berth in a three-tier compartment. This is no more a chair car. But you need to be awake. You know you are too tired too lie down. You know you will sleep. You can’t rely on alarm clocks!

 

As the clock ticks 9 everyone in your compartment wants to sleep. You wonder why people, who usually sleep at 1 or 2 at their homes, surfing on their phones, go off to sleep early in trains. But they want to sleep and they have their seats. And no, they won’t exchange for four hours too. So, everyone sleeps. You climb to the top bunk, cuddle with your phone and think how are you going to be awake for the next few hours in the dark. Your phone battery is at 30!

 

Okay, that is not bad. 30 can keep me alive and make me reach home! You open soundcloud and gaana, but your Internet is down. You think of dozing off too, with an alarm of course. But that seems a risk too much. The train is going to keep moving and you might end up reaching Mumbai! However, tempting that may sound you just don’t want to prolong your stay away from home. And you stay awake!

 

At 10:11 you jerk awake! Thank god!!

Okay, you need to do something. With the Internet down, and no lights, music and your book is out of the question. You think of opening the kindle app but you are too sleepy to read. Call someone!

 

Really? You’ll have to call someone? Why bother them?

 

At 10:35 your neck bumps against your phone, you call the only friend you can turn up to ANYTIME!

 

He picks up after the 3rdring, and you talk and sure, you are awake as soon as your city is approaching! You wake everyone up with knowing smiles, thinking what were they thinking sleeping so peacefully? Who was going to wake them up? You don’t tell them this, but you gather your things and get moving. You breathe in the familiar air, and pass the second longest breath of the day!

 

Peace? You don’t know but better than what you had all through that day. The car is being fetched in the parking area and the guilt, the emptiness, the jealousy all comes crawling back. This time it is not with anyone. It is just there. You are not thinking about anyone, but you know, you just know that you don’t have it altogether!

 

While you are waiting for the car, you see a man, a well-groomed man who is walking towards his own vehicle, but is definitely out of his minds. He is rude to his family, is ill mannered in his ways of talking, and is screaming in the night at someone for parking a bike in front of his car. Well, he doesn’t even leave the coolie and haggles with him till his demands are met. While his driver moves their car, he is callously touching himself, with the other hand itching at his man-breasts. And you say to yourself that you sure have it together better than him!

 

You let the days troubles go, and you make fun of that man telling your blogger friends how a middle-aged man kept touching himself in public, and how much of a turn off that was for you!

Lemon- Lemonade Situation!

“When life throws you a rainy day, play in the puddles.”

 

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But what if it’s a rainy season? And it prolongs to a rainy winter?

 

Or it’s fine with me if you are the lemon and lemonade type of person too just don’t bother with the rainy season then because yo have so many other hilarious options. Really, you do. See for yourself:

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They forget that you probably don’t have that kind of money for the surgery!!

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Okay, this one I probably agree with them 😀

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Again, I never learnt how to bail exactly. If I knew I’d be dodging those lemons in the first place.

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So, it all comes back to square one. What do you do?

As I said, I’d rather prefer the rainy day situation, since I am such a nature person. So when life gives me that rainy year, what the hell am I supposed to do with it. I am drenched to the core now!!

 

One Big Happy Family #6

You might not remember them, but my one big happy family still enjoys their happy ever after. Oh they are so happy that they are on a vacation!! The only problem is I didn’t know about this vacation, which is why I was so restless when I didn’t see them for quite some time.

 

As it happens, my dear blogger friend sends me their whereabouts telling me that they are safe and happy, enjoying their time without me 😉

 

How could they?????? Without me?????? Oh, the horror!!!!

 

Who cares? Let them go. I don’t even need them anymore; I have that stupid Mr. coffee hater now! Let them fly away to that city of dreams. They will not find an admirer like me there. And will have to fly back here just as soon.

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I wasn’t even missing them much when I saw them back again, near my place right the next day..

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And I am assuming that stupid carefree one big happy family will live happily ever after right in front of me, 😉 Ab kya kare subah ka bhooola sham ko ghar aye to use shayad bhoola nahi kehte..

 

PS: Thank you Sifar for bringing this picture to my notice, otherwise I wouldn’t even know about the doings of this crazy family that kept going behind my back. And also get well soon, WordPress misses you Sifar.

Also his click looks way better than any of my clicked pictures.

If there is any rarest possibility that you want to know more about this crazy happy ever after (which I highly doubt) here you go-

One Big Happy Family.

 

A Drunken Monday Night-Out!!

When it is a Monday you usually have plans to wake up early and work for the entire day, trying to curse the Sunday to go off just as quickly, and cursing all the other days for Friday seems yet so far. Monday morning sees the longest line for coffee full of tiresome people wondering why exactly are they up so early after two days of slogging lethargy. Why do they have to leave their beds in this cold morning, and why exactly do they have to work despite their wishes. The rest of the Monday is all about waiting for the day to end, so that you can go home and dine at some kind of peace, while your better half, your family or your flat-mates chose to crib about the day, and you give them a pathetic look, admonishing them that you did not have a day any better than that. All you want to do by then is go under the blanket, and try; just to try to be at little peace and if you can’t get that at least you hope that sleep will befriend you soon. All the while anticipating when will exactly the week end?

 

And one fine day you wake up with the same Monday morning feeling, having no idea it is going to end up just wild.

 

I woke up with the same feeling yesterday morning, dreading the day. Leaving my bed in this cold morning was itself a task, and oh the blanket seemed to miss me as soon as I slipped my hands out of it. Oh the trouble! I crept out not wanting to, took a quick shower because of course I have overslept, force down something to eat, keep fidgeting at the line at the coffee shop, getting restless in the traffic, simply not wanting to work!!!

 

The day passes with it’s own leisurely pace, enjoying and relishing in my pain when I see people with fresh and vibrant and jovial faces all around enjoying the start of a new week, making me wonder where exactly do they get this kind of motivation and optimism! They ask me with fresh spirit in them, “Hey, how was your weekend?” And I curse under my breath for the days to have passed by, for the next weekend seems far away!!

 

Amidst these daily conundrums, I get a call from a friend inviting me to a party!

 

PARTYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

Come on who says a no to a party on a Monday evening! At least I don’t!!

 

And in no less time I am not waiting for the week to end, I am in only fair anticipation of the day to end. This seems fair! Of course it does! But the time seems to stick by and move at even a slower pace, and then after an aeon it’s lunch and after a few other ages it’s the end!!

 

Finally, I rush home and change into something more comfortable, my days’ tiredness seems to have evaporated and in no time I hear my friends car blazing outside!

 

I jump into the front seat, while he tells me that it is his office party and we might be there for an hour or so, and then we can head out and go for a long drive or something. And I am all ears!!

 

Well, the party seems okay, not boring but not too interesting too! So while my friend goes and tries to make an appearance in and around, I seat myself in the corner, hiding away from unknown people, (Seriously even I don’t understand this concept of mine, wanting to party and yet not wanting to meet anybody!) and grab of glass of wine! Of course I am not getting drunk on a Monday night! Ah ha..

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My friend comes back in a while, and we go around meeting the few mutual finds that we have, and then we sit down at the same corner to dine. We are talking about our work, our personal lives, and everything in general, when a couple comes towards us and offers us drinks, (this was fine) but then they join us without our permission. I cringe!!!!!!

 

All the four of us are talking and drinking, and eating, and by the end I have lost count of how many glasses of that wine I have had. Well, to be fair, there were other drinks in between, a few many of which I really, truly regret to have taken. But I am okay as of now, but we are well past the time of making our appearance, and all I want is that promised long drive now, which seems to take all the time.

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“So how’s your week going?” That girl beside me ask?

“Just as interesting as your weekend might have been.” I retort.

“What do you mean?”

I am appalled at myself! I am. But also, I cannot stop myself from laughing.

My friend is eyeing me from across the table.

“I am not scared of you, you know.” I blurt to him!

And there goes the rest of the wine from my hand.

“We should probably get going.” Is all I hear from him, but those kind hearted self-composed people wouldn’t let us go. We are back at our place, and I have stolen that glass again, without his realization at that, come one, give me some credit!!!

Wait, this isn’t wine! This was some kind of margarita, but this was nice too!

“So how’s your work?” That sweet girl is till trying to make conversation with me.

“Just as boring as the shirt your husband is wearing.”

I think my friends’ eyes are going to pop out, while she is still in shock. But the person I pass a pun on, is chill about it, is laughing at that, “She has a sense of humor.”

“See, he gets me.” I smile that pleading smile.

I am not sure but I see a hint of smile, just a little on my friends face, and I think I am good.

“I hear you are planning a long drive after the party.” I think the girl has forgiven me.

“But you are not invited.” I say before I warn my mind to do against it for the nth time that evening.

“That’s it, we need to go.” I hear my friend as he gets up.

“This is what I wanted. So are we going for that drive now.” I bat my eyes.

“Are you doing this intentionally?” He murmurs in my ear.

“Noooooooooooo. I promise! I seem to have lost my filter.

“Good, because you know this is my office party, and you cannot misbehave in front of them.”

“Then can we leave?”

“Yes!”

And just then some colleague draws him away.

“Ah, darn!!!”

I sit down with that boring shirt man, and his wife who must clearly hate me by now.

“I am sorry, I just had a bad day, rather a bad weekend and a worse Monday.” I try to apologize.

“Oh it’s all right. We have all been there.” The boring shirt man sympathizes!

“No! You have only been here.” I point at his wife and giggle.

“Are you out of your mind?” that woman squeaks at me.

“Isn’t that obvious?” I laugh unapologetically.

She tries to snatch away the 4th or probably the 5th margarita from my hand when my friend finally shows up.

“I am so sorry. We need to leave.” And he grabs my arm.

“Oh she is just a little tipsy, the boring shirt man is still trying to be friendly.

“No, no I am done with her for today.” He pesters me to get up.

“Well, that was quicker than usual.” I laugh as I get up, stammering and struggling to my feet.

I see my friend go red, and listen to breezy bu-byes.

 

The next thing I know is I am sitting in the front seat of my friends’ car and he is strapping my seat belt tight enough to not even move. He sits in the driving seat and slams the door shut!

I think he is already furious.

 

“When was the last time you drank alcohol?” he glares the question at me.

“How is it relevant? I am drunk now, if that is what you are trying to figure out.”

“Well, that’s more than crystal clear madam. A blind man could smell your alcohol filth mouth and steer clear of you.”

“But I didn’t talk to any of your colleagues. I was sitting at the table all the while with your boring shirt friend and his wife. Did I embarrass you, now” I rest my case.

“You answer my question.”

“First you answer mine.” I am not laying low, or to say I am not playing intelligent.

“When was the last time that you had something to drink?”

“WHY! DID I EMBARRAS YOU, NOW?” I plead and try to make him feel guilty.

“No! Now tell me when was the last time you were drunk so much?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Are you going to ever tell me, because I know, you are not the one to go so tipsy after a couple of glasses of wine.”

“You really don’t remember?”

“I am losing my patience here.” He really is.

“I gave up on alcohol almost a year and a half back and since then all we have been doing is going to dinners and roaming about in the parks!”

“So why did you drink today?”

“I was bored.”

“That’s your reason?” he is flabbergasted.

“Come on. It’s no big deal. I am fine.” I say as I fumble to even take out my ringing phone.

He grabs it before me and answers the phone and tells someone that I will be staying over at his place tonight.

“Did you care to ask me if I want to stay at your place?” I am furious at him.

“Look at yourself, you are not going home tonight, that is a done deal!”

“Okay sir.”

 

He starts driving and I remember the promised long drive.

 

“You must be kidding me.”

“I am not. I want to go, I really do.”

“We’ll go tomorrow. Today you need to sleep right away!”

“Please. Please, don’t take this away from me. This is the best time I have had in like months, please lets just go for a while.” I stammer between laughs and sobs.

And just then he drives towards the highway.

I squeak like a child! And I think I see a trace of smile on his face. I am okay, as of now- no trouble!

 

The car window is down, the wind is beyond cool now, and it is a little cold, the moon and the stars are our partners in crime and the music seems to be just soothing. “Seriously? This is by far the best time I have had in months.” I repeat into his ears. And he smiles a full smile this time.

 

“You know there is a new coffee shop a little away from the highway. Can we go there? I mean it could just help me sober up.” I suggest.

He eyes me, really doubting my intentions, but there is nothing that my over excited face gives away, and he keeps going.

 

I am really enjoying this when his phone rings, but there is no proper network and he stops the car.

He tries a couple of times to call back, and in the end gives up. But the phone doesn’t. It rings again, and I suggest he should take it outside the car. He is back in a second, in literally no time. And we drive off.

 

We drive for about an hour or so and then he really starts doubting me. “Where exactly is this coffee shop?”

“It was in this route.”

“What do you mean it was?”

“No, no I mean it is!!!!!”

There is complete silence for a while, when he scowls at me, he is definitely furious this time. The song changes to something else. I cannot see our partners in crime anymore. The towering trees seem to hide the sky from me, and I don’t see anything familiar on the road, except isolation! Why are the roads empty, I wonder. And then I notice small, really small huts on the sides of the road. Huts so small, that you cannot go inside them without bending your back. And then fear grips me. The wind is no calmer, it’s chilly and I am afraid. It is well past midnight, and I am sure that we are on the wrong path.

 

“I think we are on the wrong path.” I gather the courage to speak.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN? DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE GPS?”

The GPS, yes, the GPS, I might have done something to it, when I was trying to change the song when he got out.

One look at me and he checks the address.

His look in return confirms my fear, and I have no idea what to say.

“I went out for a minute, and you change the address?” he almost screams at me.

“I didn’t do it intentionally. I swear I didn’t.” I almost cry and I haven’t felt like a small baby in a long time, but in that moment I did, I really did.

He avoids me. He doesn’t speak a word and makes a U-turn, feeding in the correct address. “I think that was enough of a long drive for you and the sobering up? I think that I can help with as soon as we get home.” He is really angry.

 

“What are you going to do? Spank me for being a bad child?” I cackle.

 

“This is funny to you? Is this funny to you? We are in the middle of a Naxalite area, absolutely alone, and this is funny to you?”

I go further down into my seat, shutting my eyes, and remaining silent. Knowing what was the current thing to do for the first time that night.

We drive for about a half hour in silence, and then I am struck with my first repercussion of drinking so much.

“Please slow down.”

“I am not stopping anywhere before we reach my place.” Comes the simple reply.

I don’t have the courage to speak. I fumble with my seat belt, loosen it, open the window entirely allowing it to send chilly shivers against my face. And then I throw up! I throw up with all my might and finally he realizes what’s happening. He parks in the corner, opens his seat belt, and comes towards me. He holds back my hair away from my face, and really laughs a gritting laugh.

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We drive away when I am done, only to stop after another 15 minutes, and then again after another 10 minutes. We reach home after almost 6 stops. He helps me out, enjoying the look on my face.

“I am really sorry about today.”

“We will talk tomorrow.” I hear him say after which I doze off as soon as I hit the bed.

 

I wake up the next morning with a throbbing head, a strong cup of coffee beside me, a tablet to sober me up, and my friends’ stupid face ready to mock me. And well of course Tuesday’s work, which must have already piled up on my desk by now! I am late!!! But first there is the mocking!!

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I don’t know what to say. I am ashamed. And I remember the last night party in bits and parts. And seriously I have no clue as to when I decided to stay away all night!

One look at him, and I can tell there is a big story behind it.

One look at him, and I am sure that I have done something which I ought not to.

One final look at him, and I am hundred percent sure I feel like a baby which I haven’t in quite a while, or was it just last night?

I give him a really sweet and a pleasing smile, trying to figure out if that’s going to help. Hoping to get away just like that small child that I was feeling like, would.

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Current Mood!

While the rest of the people around me are in a mood of vacations and holidays, happy and full of festivities, I can practically sum up my current mood in something I read today:

“I love everybody.

Some I love to be around.

Some I love to avoid.

And some others I’d love to punch in the face.”

The Two Ends Of My Life!

Drinking that warm cup of coffee opening your morning newspaper, and reading the exact situation of your life in the paper. Yes, this was all my day was about today.

A very interesting column by Bikram Vohra titled “To sum up life” caught my eye and it was aptly hilarious for me. Not that the situation is. But the fact that my life is in such tatters and that this writer has accurately put pen to paper, was a little it amusing to me.

He pleads his left end of the life to meet the right end. He wonders, despite all the problems in the current scenario, why is everybody else doing so good in life, while his own life is only laughable. By the end he almost concludes saying that these two ends needn’t even meet. He’d be happy if only, the two separate ends would oblige him by accepting to be on the same book, by simply accepting that they live in the same planet.

The situation may not be true for him, but it sure is for me. For him, it might just be a column, but I’d safely say that it is my truth for now. While everyone else is doing good, or at least doing something, I feel I am stationed at a harbor for eternity, without a boat, without knowing how to swim, without a destination if I’d want to walk somewhere to. The only possibility is I keep walking without a feeling of satisfaction of having done something.

Yeah, yeah, you will say I will reach somewhere, have patience. Everyone reaches someplace sooner or later. Everyone takes their own time. I will reach someplace too. Yeah yeah yeah… but till then I can’t help feel this way. People rubbing their noses on me, making me realize how insignificant I am, how much good they are up to.

I am not comparing myself to others. All I ever want to is to be a better version of myself with every passing day, but sometimes I just lose it all and then feel like both ends of my life have kept me somewhere and have forgotten that they belong to me. These forgetful ends seem to have disowned me and have decided to never be in accord with me.

So, the two ends, please, will you please try and remember where I am, because I have tired myself searching for you, and you in return seem to enjoy this game of hide and seek. Please, will you please, if not meet each other or me, at the least agree to be in the same book, accept that we all live in the same planet?