From the dust I rise
To the dust I return
In an inconsequential flight
I rise and I burn.
The love, the hate, the humanity
All perish therein,
The rusting body ends my travellers’ joy
Annihilating the very proof of me.
This is what I came upon social media today. Guess, being socially active is not after all, all bad?
A much needed respite from daily humdrum, from routine monotony, from everyday expectations.
Try it, it does look, sound and feel peaceful!
Has it ever happened?
That you feel trapped?
You consider yourself quite brave,
But in all honesty, you are scared.
You thought that you forgot that feeling.
With so much constantly happening.
But one fine day,
You find yourself to pray.
Your fingers are crossed,
And you find yourself so much engrossed.
Anxious; petrified; feeling alarming.
Has it ever happened to you?
That something so important knocks the door,
That your knees go weak,
And valiance seems like yore.
Gather your pieces and
Walk towards the peace
That you have been pining for.
It is always easy to say that your life is in pieces, always very convenient to blame it on your destiny, or on someone else.
But the reality is that when in distress we simply don’t wish to see the reality hidden beneath the dust of illusion. If only we’d be brave enough to face our very own delusions, our own misgivings, and our faults we would see the truth. We would know where exactly something is wrong. We need to have the courage to tell ourselves that it is enough, and we need to gather ourselves, face the reality, tell ourselves that there is no going back, and resolve to walk with courage anew.
It is time we tell ourselves,
“Gather your pieces and
Walk towards the peace
That you have been pining for,
For the peace ain’t coming running to you.”
When I was young, like a very small kid, I wanted to grow old, not like my grandma or grandpa old, but old like my elder brother. So that I could have the chances which he had, so that I could do what he could do.
Then when I thought I was like my brother, how old he used to be, then I wanted to grow older than him, so that I could live how he lived, without anyone bossing over me.
When I was really old, like you know the recent adult? I wanted to become someone who was stable, with a proper job, and all that, you know.
Then, I was old, like you know who had a job, and a little money, and something, and then I wanted to have a family of my own. I wanted to be the one whom I saw on the street the other day, the one with a husband, and two cute little children.
When I was the one with the cute little children, I wanted to be the one that I saw from across my house, you know the old lady cribbing at her old man, for not doing something, for not understanding her, and yet how you could tell that they had grown old together.
Then when I was that old lady, I wanted yet something else. I wanted to be the free individual who lived next door, so that I could travel like him.
And then I wanted something else too…..
My point being, all our lives we keep wanting things. We want, and we want. We are never satisfied, ad we never will be. May be, we want something and we get it, and then we don’t want it anymore. May be we do get it and now we want something else. We keep pining for things we don’t have, never relishing what we actually have. We keep trying to push ourselves to get more, not realizing that in the process we are losing what we have.
We keep wanting to live in a way, never realizing that we are forgetting to actually live in the life that we are supposed to be living.
The situation usually one deals with is that where, as a human, you create a problem, then worry over it, then scale the said problem, then you work it out and then finally you get it done with. The problem is then forgotten, learnt from and in the distant past soon. That is the usual plan, right, when it comes to dealing with your problems in life, big or small?
But off late I have been acquainted with another problem, or should I say a problem of looking at this problem matter? Very recently I have been analysing it differently. Yes, we all have problems, I get it. No one’s life is a cake-walk. But now I know there could be another situation too, another very raw way to look at the said problems. In this second situation, as a human you create problems, then worry over it, then scale it with all your other problems, weight the importance of this problem, and then before even solving it, you scale your problems with someone else’s problems, then you realise that your problem may not be of even a little worth in comparison to the other persons’. Then guilt pricks you, gnaws at you, crawls all over you, to even think about your problem as a problem. Then, that guilt becomes your problem, for even thinking that you had a problem when all this while other people have real important matters to look into. And finally, with that guilt, comes back your first problem, and you start wondering how do you even define this problem as a problem? You want to let it go, without calling it a crisis, but it knock you back down and doesn’t let you get up until you call it with its previous name, ‘the problem’.
So the second situation has two problems, and no solution? The guilt keeps haunting you, and then somehow you just move on? You have no solution because, solutions are meant for problems, but you constantly reject the idea of it being called a problem. How can you? You have seen worst and now you want to fuss over your little princess problems? But unless you try and get it done with you just have to keep dealing with the problems….
I have no idea what I have written above here. But honestly, if you get me, what can a person possibly do in such a situation?