Tag Archives: loved ones

A Year Older; A Year Wiser?

Yesterday was Amazing!!

And I still remember posting the same very thoughts the same very day, last year. And sure, time and things have changed but some things (thankfully) have remained as I wished them to.

Some of you might be really wondering as to what exactly was yesterday, well,, it was my birthday. And it was beyond wonderful!

But one thing I have realised is with time you lose people, but then you find new ones too. Now, it’s on us whether to keep missing and whining the ones that have left us, or cherish the new ones. I don’t know birthday brings these weird thoughts to me, always. If you were there last year, you’ll know.  😉

Okay, enough whining!

The best part of the day was, well it was exactly what was last year; BOOKS!! I have got nothing but books as presents and all I can do now is wait for my work to lessen a bit so that I can drown myself in those lovely presents.

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And I can’t wait!!!! Because there is a blind date in their too 😉

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Well, not one but two blind dates 😀

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But, coming to two most adorable people,  who wrote a touching post for me, her poetry is beyond anything, and I can’t thank her enough for it. I love you for this Aditiiiiiii https://motmagiques.wordpress.com/2018/07/22/happy-birthday-moush/

The other person is  from https://mybrokenwords.wordpress.com/ He has sent me a mail which is again so touching that I cannot say anything, he just made my day!!!!! 

The thought here is, I never thought I will have blogger friends so awesome as them. I have my friends with me, I have my family too, but this virtual world sometimes really overwhelms me. So a big Thank you!!!

Well, a year older I might be, but a year wiser? I am still unsure about it, I make mistakes, but I promise myself everyday, that I will try and keep improving myself at every point.

So the books might as well be that step to being wiser 😉

And I say that the birthday was done right, because I get to see some lovely sights!! It was just pleasant, as if I was looking at the horizon!

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Tell me if I am wrong?

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Racing against the speed!!

Okay, enough of my day, got to go back to, well, not being the birthday girl!!

If anyone is in

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Death Or Life- What Gives You True Pain?

2018 has not been very compatible to me yet, I guess it doesn’t feel good with me, or it just doesn’t want to make me feel good. Any which ways, I am tortured. 3 months and 3 deaths!! How is that possible? How am I supposed to even live with it? You will say, I have to and I will but it doesn’t at all feel good. None of them were close family members but all of the three people were relatives, one being a friend a distant one, a junior school-mate and yet I do not feel good about it. I feel sad.

Having received death news is never good news, of course it never is but then when you hear about a person’s death that was your age, your friend, you do not know what to do. It cripples your heart.

This friend I am talking about wasn’t my best friend, so I cannot say I am dying inside to hear this, but he was a kind person, a sweet person. I knew his family very well, his sister, his mother, even his dad. All of them are such lovely souls, and yet, I ask, do they really deserve this? Do they deserve the death of a young son, a young and a happy-go-lucky brother? Does that young boy deserve death? I repeat, young, again and again, only to emphasise, the fact that a mere 20 something person died, all of a sudden, leaving behind all his loved ones, shattered and broken.

I feel so depressed, writing about it, even thinking about it, that I cannot even begin to think how and what his family might be going through. I, really cannot say that I understand their pain, no I cannot, and can never until I go through such a loss.

This brings me to a thought, again and again and again. What if something so traumatic happens with me or my family? What if, I have to go through something so disturbing and painful? What will I do? I am losing it completely now, how would I handle anything beyond this?

Death is unpredictable, absolutely uncertain, then how can anyone live with this uncertainty?

And yet, we have to. We have no other alternative. Do we?

They say; time heals everything. But does it? Or does it simply makes you immune, and gives you the patience to live with it?

The selfish human that I am, I am making it all about me, again. I am forgetting, rambling about my agony here, that this, what I am going through now, is simply nothing. It is ‘just’ a fear of losing someone, and the pain of losing a friend, an acquaintance, and in no case it can be compared to what his family might be going through now. I am truly sorry for him and his family. Whatever I write and say here, can in no possible way express what I am feeling right now. I can in no amount of synonyms and adjectives express my feelings. I am so deeply touched that it can be expressed with nothing, with no words.

I cannot even begin to think what his loved ones might be going through now, and honestly I do not have the courage to, too.

William Shakespeare once said, “Death once dead, there’s no more dying then.”

So is it okay, that he is dead? His pain is over, right? But what about the people that he left behind? I ask this here, because, there is a possibility that he committed suicide. I cannot say for sure, we have just heard it. Some said, it was a road accident, and yet others who lived with him have to say that he committed suicide. We don’t know, and we might never know. But does the reason matter?

Does it?

According to Shakespeare, after death, there is no pain, but I guess there is. There definitely is.

I am sorry. I guess I have said enough, only to feel more vulnerable. Today, all I can think about is death, and its consequences. This truly is not making me feel good. (I know I must have repeated this several times, but I honestly don’t feel good.)

To end this post on a cliché dialogue from a full time Bollywood movie (Boss)

Ronit Roy says-“ maut ko to yuhin log badnam karte hai.. asli takleef to zindagi deti hain.”

“People defame death, but true pain and suffering comes from life.” (Okay, I know the English translation might not be that effective.)

And I think, today, I do agree with this dialogue, doesn’t suffering come from life? Once you are dead, you are simply dead. But when you are alive, you are alive, alive with that excruciating pain. And you can do nothing about it.

I am in no position to judge anything here, nor do I want to. But I desperately feel bad for this friend of mine. We may have lost touch, but this news came as a shock.

In a flick, he just passed away, and left behind grief and misery for everyone who knew him.

From the bottom of my heart, I pray that no single person has to go through with the kind of pain that he might have gone through, and that his family must be going through. May all of them find the strength that they truly need in this crucial hour.

And may his kind soul rest in peace.