Tag Archives: present

Forgetting To Live.

When I was young, like a very small kid, I wanted to grow old, not like my grandma or grandpa old, but old like my elder brother. So that I could have the chances which he had, so that I could do what he could do.

Then when I thought I was like my brother, how old he used to be, then I wanted to grow older than him, so that I could live how he lived, without anyone bossing over me.

When I was really old, like you know the recent adult? I wanted to become someone who was stable, with a proper job, and all that, you know.

Then, I was old, like you know who had a job, and a little money, and something, and then I wanted to have a family of my own. I wanted to be the one whom I saw on the street the other day, the one with a husband, and two cute little children.

When I was the one with the cute little children, I wanted to be the one that I saw from across my house, you know the old lady cribbing at her old man, for not doing something, for not understanding her, and yet how you could tell that they had grown old together.

Then when I was that old lady, I wanted yet something else. I wanted to be the free individual who lived next door, so that I could travel like him.

And then I wanted something else too…..

 

My point being, all our lives we keep wanting things. We want, and we want. We are never satisfied, ad we never will be. May be, we want something and we get it, and then we don’t want it anymore. May be we do get it and now we want something else. We keep pining for things we don’t have, never relishing what we actually have. We keep trying to push ourselves to get more, not realizing that in the process we are losing what we have.

We keep wanting to live in a way, never realizing that we are forgetting to actually live in the life that we are supposed to be living.

 

Know the blogger #4

  1. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major?

I was just like the people we hate, the judgmental. I stopped it when I realised how wrong I was. It isn’t fair to judge people without knowing their story. I was told that I am such a sad and lonely person, when the other person did not even really know me, my circumstances. I realised it then and I just somehow, brought myself to stop randomly judging people.

 

 

  1. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

When someone says that I wrote beautifully only I never know that if the compliment was true, or just for the sake of saying it. (I am sorry for saying this to all my lovely bloggers, it is not the lack of trust on you, it is because the lack of confidence in me)

 

  1. As the only human left on earth, what would you do?

If I had books, I’d survive for a while, but I’d be dead otherwise too.

 

  1. Who inspires you to be better?

I wrote a post about it some months ago, there has been never an inspiration. I have always struggled to make myself better, from not the example of others, but from their flaws. I mean if I find some “quality” that I don’t like in someone else, I know that, that has to be changed inside me too.

 

  1. What do you want your epitaph to be?

“I think therefore, I am”

 

  1. What haven’t you grown out of?

Soft toys!

 

  1. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in?

Surrounded by sports fan!

  1. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?

I went to a city for my graduation for unsatisfactory reasons; like the reason was so dumb I cannot even bring myself to say it here. But it turned out pretty well.

 

  1. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about?

The days of my wedding planning, and how I met so, so many new people there almost every single day. At least as of now, I guess this would be it.

 

  1. What’s something you will never do again?

Go crazy after a guy. I don’t think that’s happening.

 

  1. How do you hope you’ll change as a person in the future?

I don’t know, but I want to better by each passing day.

 

  1. What keeps you up at night?

Overthinking. What else could it be?

 

  1. What’s the most surprising self-realization you’ve had?

That I am like the person that I never wanted to be.

Again, I did a post on it. “just like her”

 

  1. What is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?

Oh how can I do something illegal, I am the good girl!

Drive without helmets on! That’s it.

 

  1. How do you get in the way of your own success?

My fear drives in.

 

  1. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?

They just see my face, I know that, not even afraid of. No one looks at the real me.

 

  1. What is your biggest regret?

I never tried making my passion into a profession.

 

  1. What do you look down on people for?

Hypocrisy.

 

  1. What bridges do you not regret burning?

I burn them down, eventually I do.

 

  1. What lie do you tell most often?

“I am okay.”

And “yes ma, I am going off to sleep.”

 

  1. What would be your spirit animal?

Never thought of it.

 

  1. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?

Best- you experience life.

Worst- you never get to go back and be the kid again.

 

  1. What are you most likely very wrong about?

“That all men are same.”

 

  1. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?

I seriously don’t know.

 

  1. What’s happened that changed your view on the world?

I have seen domestic violence through my eyes when I was 7. It was not at my home (thankfully) but I lost faith in humanity that day and I never outgrew that incident.

 

  1. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

That no one, no one except your close family cares for you.

 

  1. What is the most immature thing you do?

I cling on to the teddy in my room when I read or watch tv. (I think I shouldn’t have said that.)

  1. What are you famous for among your friends & family?

Studying literature and books frantically.

 

  1. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?

It didn’t have any smell.

 

  1. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have?

To look up for everyone, to stand against every wrong, to be the stronger one in my family. Even we fall apart sometimes.

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Please bear with me, tomorrow will be the last part of flaunting about me. :-!