Tag Archives: present

Krishna talked sense into me..

This post is going to be a little different from what I usually write here, but by the end of it you might think I am back to my usual. So if you get there, thank you for bearing with me.

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“Mayi sarvani karmani samnyasyādhyātmacetasā;

Nirāśirnirmamo bhūtvā yudhyasava vigatajvarah.”

 

Renouncing all actions into Me, with the mind centered on the Self, free from hope and egoism (Ownership), free from (mental) fever, (you) do fight.

 

This is taken from the Holy Geeta, chapter 3 Karma Yoga, verse 30.

 

This brilliant passage is spoken by lord Krishna to his worshipper/friend/student Arjuna.

 

A closer study of the import of these two lines will make us understand clearly that, in this stanza, Krishna is hinting at the greater psychological truth of life. Krishna advises Arjuna to act renouncing both Hope and Ego; and this is indeed a primary instruction on how to pour the best that is in us into the ‘present’, blockading all unintelligent and thoughtless dissipation of our inner personality-energies, in the ‘Past’and the ‘Future’.

 

He further says to renounce all action unto the Lord and, getting rid of both Hope and Selfishness, must fight, free from all mental fever. How complete this technique is will be evident now to all students of Geeta.

 

The term ‘fight’is to be understood here ‘as our individual fight with circumstances, in the silent battle of life’. Thus, the advice is not for Arjuna alone, but to them all men who would like to live fully and intelligently.

 

And this makes more sense to me when right in the next stanza He says, without caviling, and with only faith in heart, one must live. For one can neither understand fully, nor come to gain the blessings of the way of life, by deep study and noisy discussions. It can be understood and experienced only by living it.

 

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Time again, I have been told that thinking, will not help much, that trying to understand all the concepts of life is only a vain effort. But despite my agreement with them, I fail to accustom myself to these thoughts. The result of which is a PhD in overthinking and a certain sense of guilt and restlessness, and a tinge of permanent anxiety of un-knowingness. I have been told again and again, that to not think much of past and present, and only to live. But it took me more than a decade, and a number of people telling me so, a 100 different experiences and a second reading of this Holy scripture, to finally let myself understand that I can never understand everything (Just the way I can never travel almost every part of the world, or just the way that I can never ever read all the books in the world!!). It was this time, that when I read it, my brains finally, tried accepting this simple fact, it was this time that I felt, that Krishna was speaking to me, (Hypothetically, don’t worry I haven’t turned all too religious overnight and started hallucinating about Gods in front of me) finally making my dumb ass realize that I am not right, that I need to stop doing certain things to myself which are only hurting me more.

 

Now, that I have come to accept it, I am going to start trying to succumb to it; that is my attempts will be to not think much, about the past and-or the future. I will try and leave my ego and all kinds of hope behind, in an attempt of living a life without selfishness, and one full of faith. This does not mean I renounce my Karma, no, it only signifies how I will go about it; that is without my Ego and Hope but full of faith.

 

 

This is how I perceive these stanzas, and I am pretty sure, I still don’t get the inner meaning of them, or the depth of what He was trying to say. All the same I will keep up with my efforts of not understanding anymore, but only living my life, doing my Karma, because I sure ain’t getting younger!!

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I have used the commentary and the English translation of the verse from the Geeta, written by Swami Chinmayananda.

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A tickin’ and a tockin’

Most of the times I feel about New Years like this:

1?

But then instantly, I have a regret, a guilt for being so pessimistic and my thought turns to something like this:

2!

I mean I have done it wrong, year after year, only trying, or rather barely trying to make things better, to improve myself. And year after year, I am barely floating above the level, but I am still there, trying. So why not this year too? (Not that I have a choice not to try)

So, I think and think more, which is what I am really a master at and decide that let what’s gone, go and welcome what wants to come. Instead of merging past, present and future, and struggling to barely keep up, I decide to just breathe. Peace is all I want, now. Lat year, had been too much of a roller coaster for me, nothing I could not handle, but given the chance I would have liked to dodge that bullet! But now all’s in the past, and I have never really looked up to New Years as I am looking up for this one. Nothing awaits me, not that I know of, but I am hoping against hope, that it would be a slightly better year than the last one.

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So, I am really not fretting over my past, not worrying about my future, all I want to do right now is, live in the moment, hoping against all hopes that things will turn out as they should be. (Because clearly however much I kick around in the air some things are really not under my control).

So, wishing all the lovely people around here, a very peaceful and a bright new year.

PS: As I write this down, Mr. Coffee hater is persistently cooing at me, wanting all the attention that I was clearly devoting to my computer. And just as I take the shot below, he winks at me, flutters his wing, and soars away! The attention seeker that he is!! Ufff…

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In case you don’t know who this person is who hates coffee; you can visit the link below: Mr. Coffee Hater- My New Friend!

Certainty Of Life!

I most certainly know the way

And yet, I am certain that I am lost.

 

I undoubtedly know what’s in for tomorrow,

And yet, I am definite that I have no knowledge of tomorrow.

 

I am pretty assured what my past was

And yet, I have no notion where I came from.

 

All I know, all I can say for certain is

I am here, now in the present, happy, smiling.

 

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PS: Just was in the mood for that Sheldon’s mocking Laughter 😀

Forgetting To Live.

When I was young, like a very small kid, I wanted to grow old, not like my grandma or grandpa old, but old like my elder brother. So that I could have the chances which he had, so that I could do what he could do.

Then when I thought I was like my brother, how old he used to be, then I wanted to grow older than him, so that I could live how he lived, without anyone bossing over me.

When I was really old, like you know the recent adult? I wanted to become someone who was stable, with a proper job, and all that, you know.

Then, I was old, like you know who had a job, and a little money, and something, and then I wanted to have a family of my own. I wanted to be the one whom I saw on the street the other day, the one with a husband, and two cute little children.

When I was the one with the cute little children, I wanted to be the one that I saw from across my house, you know the old lady cribbing at her old man, for not doing something, for not understanding her, and yet how you could tell that they had grown old together.

Then when I was that old lady, I wanted yet something else. I wanted to be the free individual who lived next door, so that I could travel like him.

And then I wanted something else too…..

 

My point being, all our lives we keep wanting things. We want, and we want. We are never satisfied, ad we never will be. May be, we want something and we get it, and then we don’t want it anymore. May be we do get it and now we want something else. We keep pining for things we don’t have, never relishing what we actually have. We keep trying to push ourselves to get more, not realizing that in the process we are losing what we have.

We keep wanting to live in a way, never realizing that we are forgetting to actually live in the life that we are supposed to be living.

 

Know the blogger #4

  1. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major?

I was just like the people we hate, the judgmental. I stopped it when I realised how wrong I was. It isn’t fair to judge people without knowing their story. I was told that I am such a sad and lonely person, when the other person did not even really know me, my circumstances. I realised it then and I just somehow, brought myself to stop randomly judging people.

 

 

  1. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

When someone says that I wrote beautifully only I never know that if the compliment was true, or just for the sake of saying it. (I am sorry for saying this to all my lovely bloggers, it is not the lack of trust on you, it is because the lack of confidence in me)

 

  1. As the only human left on earth, what would you do?

If I had books, I’d survive for a while, but I’d be dead otherwise too.

 

  1. Who inspires you to be better?

I wrote a post about it some months ago, there has been never an inspiration. I have always struggled to make myself better, from not the example of others, but from their flaws. I mean if I find some “quality” that I don’t like in someone else, I know that, that has to be changed inside me too.

 

  1. What do you want your epitaph to be?

“I think therefore, I am”

 

  1. What haven’t you grown out of?

Soft toys!

 

  1. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in?

Surrounded by sports fan!

  1. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?

I went to a city for my graduation for unsatisfactory reasons; like the reason was so dumb I cannot even bring myself to say it here. But it turned out pretty well.

 

  1. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about?

The days of my wedding planning, and how I met so, so many new people there almost every single day. At least as of now, I guess this would be it.

 

  1. What’s something you will never do again?

Go crazy after a guy. I don’t think that’s happening.

 

  1. How do you hope you’ll change as a person in the future?

I don’t know, but I want to better by each passing day.

 

  1. What keeps you up at night?

Overthinking. What else could it be?

 

  1. What’s the most surprising self-realization you’ve had?

That I am like the person that I never wanted to be.

Again, I did a post on it. “just like her”

 

  1. What is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?

Oh how can I do something illegal, I am the good girl!

Drive without helmets on! That’s it.

 

  1. How do you get in the way of your own success?

My fear drives in.

 

  1. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?

They just see my face, I know that, not even afraid of. No one looks at the real me.

 

  1. What is your biggest regret?

I never tried making my passion into a profession.

 

  1. What do you look down on people for?

Hypocrisy.

 

  1. What bridges do you not regret burning?

I burn them down, eventually I do.

 

  1. What lie do you tell most often?

“I am okay.”

And “yes ma, I am going off to sleep.”

 

  1. What would be your spirit animal?

Never thought of it.

 

  1. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?

Best- you experience life.

Worst- you never get to go back and be the kid again.

 

  1. What are you most likely very wrong about?

“That all men are same.”

 

  1. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?

I seriously don’t know.

 

  1. What’s happened that changed your view on the world?

I have seen domestic violence through my eyes when I was 7. It was not at my home (thankfully) but I lost faith in humanity that day and I never outgrew that incident.

 

  1. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

That no one, no one except your close family cares for you.

 

  1. What is the most immature thing you do?

I cling on to the teddy in my room when I read or watch tv. (I think I shouldn’t have said that.)

  1. What are you famous for among your friends & family?

Studying literature and books frantically.

 

  1. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?

It didn’t have any smell.

 

  1. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have?

To look up for everyone, to stand against every wrong, to be the stronger one in my family. Even we fall apart sometimes.

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Please bear with me, tomorrow will be the last part of flaunting about me. :-!