Tag Archives: soul

Her Altruistic Mien.

Have you ever seen a heart

Who has love, unconditional?

Have you ever met someone

Who has given herself so benevolently?

I have.

And I keep meeting them.

Whenever I talk to a woman

Every now and then.

I meet her in an infant daughter

Who is innocent enough to believe,

That her father might leave her midway

Given she did not comply with his portents.

I meet her in a young sister

Who gives up every thing,

And bears with her parents’ anger

Only for that miscreant little brother.

I meet her in a teenage daughter

Who makes friends with her mother,

Shares her first heartbreak with her

And one day she leaves everything, to be just like her.

I meet her in an amorous wife

Who loves and lusts her husband,

Blending into his family

As milk into sugar.

Her past lay behind

Shedding tears every once in a while,

She calms down herself

For breaking down has never served right.

I meet her in a doting mother

Who serves her child first,

A tired body she might own

But love will still that child own.

Day and night, she will take care

Of children she brought as their own,

Leaving behind her own dreams

She nourishes her family’s soul.

I meet her in a grand daughter

I meet her in a mother in law.

I meet her in a grand mother,

I meet her in nieces and aunts.

I meet her, and I will keep meeting them

In every woman who lives as a woman

Who comes into life

With learning her first words as ‘sacrifice.’

I meet that foolish soul

In every other woman,

Who gives more momentum

To emotion than reason.

I wish they’d know how to live

With ‘EMO-SON’ as a feeling,

May be then they’d never end up

With that senseless feeling.

But what could she do

For her heart’s in the right place,

All she wants is her people whom she loves

To be happy and full of solace.

Of course she is an ignorant fool

For she has lived a forfeited life,

Her loved ones will comply

Why did she surmise?

She cries and sheds some tears

Every now and then when she loses her endurance,

But she lifts herself up,

Finding valor, from I know not where?

And she is back with her giving self

While I wonder how much is left for her to give,

Will there be a time where she’ll be herself left with nothing but pain

And all she’ll have in return is a disgusted look in vain.

How much could a person give after all

How much love can a heart bore?

How much repugnance can one take

How much can she after all bear?

How does a soul carry itself with so much weight,

How can a body live with so many burdens?

And yet I see them, I meet them

All live paradigms of seemingly insane individuals.

I meet them. And I keep meeting them

I just wonder, sometimes,

Have you ever met such a foolish creature

Or is it just me who sees beyond the rational measure?

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Ps: Only, sometimes it feels like it is just not worth it, to give so much of love, and ‘selfless service’.

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Calm!!

This is what I came upon social media today. Guess, being socially active is not after all, all bad?

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A much needed respite from daily humdrum, from routine monotony, from everyday expectations.

Try it, it does look, sound and feel peaceful!

 

The Mask That Fell Off!

 

I saw love in your eyes

I saw the warmth,

The flamboyant smiles.

 

I saw the care in your heart

I saw the fear,

The painful pleasure.

 

I saw the truth in your soul

I saw the honesty,

The serene simplicity.

 

And then one day I saw the true colors

I saw the wild lies

I saw the raging rashness

And I saw the youthful odium.

 

Now what do I presume?

Which colors do I assume?

What is right?

What is wrong?

 

I lost faith in myself

While you, shook me to my inner essential.

Was I wrong before?

Am I wrong now?

 

Were you so good in representing?

Or am I so bad in arbitrating?

Am I so inanely innocuous?

Or you are just astonishingly facetious?

 

I though I saw love

I though I saw scrupulousness

But in a flick, one day

The mask fell off

And I didn’t know

What to believe in!

Love Or Lust?

I was standing in front of the dresser, the mirror reflecting my red dress to perfection, my hair, as always remain untamed and in order only as much as I could bid them to be in. The only accessory defining my body was a pair of diamond studs, glinting in the lights above me. I was looking breathtaking, in my own simple way, or so I thought. (Always the self obsessed me) I was screwing one of the studs into my ears when I heard a knock on the door, and my heart skipped a beat.

 

Thoughts rushed into my mind, all at once, uninvited, unwanted, messing up with me. Should I have worn that little black dress after all? Was this too plain? Should I have worn those high stilettos instead of these sneakers? Was that bracelet more appropriate than this regular unadorned watch? Would just a bit of lipstick have done any harm? Should I have listened to my friend after all? Oh god, so many should’s and would’s, but it was all too late. “Stop frowning and open the door instead.” I tell myself. But my legs froze. It wouldn’t budge. And I kept puzzling myself.

 

“Move” but as always in times of urgency, my stubborn self wouldn’t even listen to myself.

 

The knock persisted, and then the door opened slightly, a small gap, a voice from somewhere, but I was all lost.

 

“Can I come in?”

 

And there he was, his charming self, smiling at me.

 

I was at a loss of words.

 

Say something, I screamed at myself. But all my dumb ass would do was to stand there and fidget nervously, uncomfortably.

 

I hadn’t even realized that I was looking right into his eyes, and as the realization dawns on me, I look down. I look everywhere but at him. I am at a loss of words, and I have no idea, what am I suppose to do now. I wonder if his presence is always going to make me go so weak. But it was not so before. Before, I could talk to him without any of these hesitations. How did this happen? How did I suddenly start drooling for this man? How did I suddenly loose my senses by just looking at this man? I wonder if this is always going to be like this? I wonder what he is thinking right now. I keep wondering…

 

And the next thing I know is, he is standing right in front of me, my hands in his, fingers entwined, his eyes glaring down on me, urging me to look at him. I succumb there, despite the realizations of my clammy hands. I look up. And that look, that smile? That’s enough to make me go weak in the knees. All the blood drains away from me, down to the edge of my toes, and I almost stop breathing. I look everywhere but at him, everywhere but at his smile, constantly teasing me.

 

He has pushed me to the wall, my brains have stopped working and I lose my breath when he is inches away from me. My stupid heart, which has lead me to this, standing in front of him, dumb founded? My stupid heart which did not listen to me; to neither of my warnings, that stupid heart is in my mouth, and is ready to jump off and leave me any second. In one swift motion he frees my hair and all I can think of is how long it’s going to take me to do them again. And I laugh at my own callousness. I mean, this magnificent man, right here, is standing in front of me, I am almost in his arms, and all I can think of is how long would it take for me to tie them again? “Just don’t tie them, you fool!” I scold myself.

 

He puts a rigid lock of hair behind my ears and bends a little towards it, as if to say something. I can hear his steady breaths, but he stays there, just smiling, not saying a word. How I wished for him to say something, anything, anything that could break the silence. Anything that could make my mind stop having thoughts leading to God knows where. Anything to know what he has in his mind, what he is thinking? His cool breaths tingling my skin, sending shivers down me; the kind of shivers and feelings I have never felt before.

 

I am drawn towards him, closer and yet closer, thinking how much closer can I get anymore? But the space seems never ending. He grips me at the waist, and in a flash I am right in his arms. I clutch at his soft flannel shirt, knowing not what to do. I fail to look at him now. His hands were caressing my arms, tickling me. What the hell was happening? Tickles were my best friend, and now even they betrayed me? What the hell happened to not being tickled by anyone? Here I was all shivering, with his slight touch. WHAT WAS WRONG?

 

Will he ever stop smiling and staring at me like that?

 

But he comes even closer, making me wonder where exactly is the distance anymore? He stoops, his hands at my waist, his lips, searching mine. But he stays there, breathing softly against my lips, I can feel his smile, I can listen to my own small rapid breaths, and then he bites me, a soft— languid— lusting— bite at the corner of my mouth, faintly piercing at my lower lip, not even trying to kiss me. No lips, no tongues and yet this was enough. Turned on was not even close to what I felt.

 

Yes, this was enough. My mind literally stopped working, and my heart had fled not my mouth but my entire body, I had no sense of what exactly was happening. Yes this was enough. All the breaths leave me; my heart stops first, and then starts drumming against my chest and in my ears, as he withdraws his face a tiny bit. I could feel a hot sensation on my face burning from within, and I turned scarlet. All the blood drains away from me, even my feet feel weak, as if something, everything was sucked out of me. I grip tighter onto his shirt, as if that was the only thing helping me to realize that this wasn’t a dream, my feet scratching the floor only to feel there was a floor beneath me. Oh, I melt. I melt, under his pulling gaze. I have Goosebumps even at the back of my neck. And there are butterflies, well; an army of butterflies doing God knows what inside my stomach. I didn’t even realize that I had held my breath until he withdrew completely and held my hands again, piercing down at me with an all-new hunger in his eyes. The kind of hunger reminding me of my all my crazy fantasies, of all kinds of Christian Grey’s and all kinds of inner goddesses. But then he withdrew, his smile seemingly teasing my train of thoughts.

 

His forehead rests on mine, smiling his sexy, casual smile above me. And I blush; I blush like I have never blushed before in his presence. I have no idea what is going on. Why didn’t he kiss me? I mean he already almost did it, but then why did he withdraw himself? Why leave something incomplete? I was eager, as I had never been before. I was wanting, as I had never been before. What exactly was happening? I had never acted this dumb before, never! I could not look into his eyes; I could not even muster the courage to speak. Was I really I?

 

Face flushed hot, I somehow bear to look at him, to look at those lustrous eyes, at those sensual smiles.

 

“You look gorgeous, and as much as I’d like to stand here, looking at you blushing, we have to get going. I am pretty sure you wouldn’t want to miss the beginning of the show.” He winks at me.

 

Show? I couldn’t even remember anything about the show anymore. I had wanted to go there for so long, and somehow the tickets were arranged, and now all I was wondering was how could he leave me there, mid way in the air, after what he just did to me.

 

“I am waiting downstairs.” And that is all I hear before he closes the door behind him.

 

He leaves me there, with a hoarse breathing; wanting, confused, devoid of all the confidence of looking “breathtaking in my own simplicity”. What was I even thinking saying that in the first place? No man with his looks, and his charms, and his smile, and his eyes…. Could call me breathtaking! And yet there I was, thinking, God knows what?

 

I give one look to myself in the mirror, and I think there was too much makeup on my cheeks, only realizing that there was none to begin with. Oh god!! Was I a complete lost case? How did this happen? What exactly was this? God, what he does to me!! What was it? What is it? I am certain I am not in love. Or am I? NO!! May be this is lust!! Yes, lust, I tell myself. I just want him. But do I? No, but this wasn’t lust? I mean it felt something more than that. Sure, everyone says that. But wouldn’t lust would have lead to something more than this. Wouldn’t it? Oh Lord, I am screwed!!

 

And suddenly, everything seemed perfect, the red dress, zero make-up, no accessories, the not-so-tied-untamed-hair, and the sneakers. All was perfect; except the foolish smile. Everything seemed perfect but that stupid smile that I was wearing.

 

In a second, all came back to me, the show. Yes, I didn’t want to miss it. I grabbed my phone and wallet and rushed downstairs, to find him waiting by the door. He stood aside for me, ever the gentleman that he was, and soon we were walking side by side in the fresh air, in that cool after-rain evening, brushing hands against each other’s.

 

I Wanted To Heal You….!!

Yesterday, I posted this, and I felt exactly the words deep in my life, something that came out from inside my heart, but somehow I was not satisfied with the end. I hated my own poetry, my own work, my own thoughts, leaving my readers and myself without hope, and hence I came up with a little different conclusion today.

 

Do let me know which one of the endings did you like more?

 

I wanted; wanted

To take away all our pain,

To free you from your aches,

To envelope you in my embrace,

To make you forget all that can’t be erased.

 

I wanted; wanted

To kiss all your tears,

To chase away all your fears,

To taste all your wounds,

To chaperone you to the tombs.

 

I wanted; wanted

To cure you of your grief,

To surcease all your strife,

To heal your body, your soul,

To be your cure, an antidote.

 

I wanted; wanted

To give you all my happiness,

To bestow you only with blissfulness,

To free you of the enchains,

To liberate you, of all the restrains.

 

And in doing so,

I lost my exulted ecstasy,

My humorous joviality,

My peace, my calm,

My tranquility, the only charm.

 

And in doing so,

I reached someplace called inferno,

Burning, writhing, for how long I don’t know.

In healing you, I lost myself,

My body, my soul,

And there was left, no antidote.

 

 

But then someday, one day,

I rose to that Elysium,

Finessing away all your delirium,

Proliferating my poise,

Vanquishing the void,

Conquering the little forgotten calm,

Regaining all the lost charm.

And I liberated from your chains, with time,

The long lost, yet my lustrous smile.

 

 

 

 

I Wanted To Heal You….

 

I wanted; wanted

To take away all our pain,

To free you from your aches,

To envelope you in my embrace,

To make you forget all that can’t be erased.

 

I wanted; wanted

To kiss all your tears,

To chase away all your fears,

To taste all your wounds,

To chaperone you to the tombs.

 

I wanted; wanted

To cure you of your grief,

To surcease all your strife,

To heal your body, your soul,

To be your cure, an antidote.

 

I wanted; wanted

To give you all my happiness,

To bestow you only with blissfulness,

To free you of the enchains,

To liberate you, of all the restrains.

 

And in doing so,

I lost my exulted ecstasy,

My humorous joviality,

My peace, my calm,

My tranquility, the only charm.

 

And in doing so,

I reached someplace called inferno,

Burning, writhing, for how long I don’t know.

In healing you, I lost myself,

My body, my soul,

And there was left, no antidote.

*

Sometimes, I wonder though, if at all this is possible. You always wanted everything to fall in place for the other person, you always wanted peace and serenity for them, but in trying to do everything for them, can you really lose yourself? In doing something good for others can you really hurt yourself? Can you really torture and enchain yourself, so, so badly that you fear your presence? Can you really fall to some place so dark?

Three Day Lyrical Challenge – Day 1

Recently I have been nominated for this musical challenge by  the_aestheticspirit. I have come to love her work, and if you give her a peep I am pretty sure you will love her work too. She writes wonderful prose and poems, and has a very insightful mind and a lovely heart.

So for my Day 1, I choose a very heart touching song, which has a melody which sways me with a rhythm which I had not known until it’s release which is sadly very recently. This song is a from a Bollywood movie’s album, which isn’t even present in the movie and most people have not even heard it. At least most people that I know tell me that they haven’t heard of it. But the first time I heard it I was hooked, gripped, stuck, clutched by it. Not the tune, but the music, the rhythm, the lyrics, the song, it mesmerizes me as a unit. The lyrics touch my ‘Rooh’ (Soul)

Okay, I guess I have put up high hopes for the song, you might not even like it, the choice is yours. But I take the liberty to call it one of my favourites for this year.

The song is ‘Tab bhi Tu from the album of ‘October’. (Sadly the songs aren’t present in the movie)

Singer- Rahat Fateh Ali Khan

Music- Anupam Roy

Lyrics- Tanveer Ghazi.

Meri rooh karegi fariyad
Meri saasein kahin kho jayengi
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna

Jab rakh banega yeh suraj
Aur dhoop dhuaan ho jayegi
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna

Sajde ki tarah phir aakhein jhukin
Phir palkein namazi huyin
Tere zikra mein thi kuchh aisi nami
Sookhi saasein bhi taazi huyin

Jab umra ki awara baarish
Sab rang mere dho jayegi
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna

Taveez hai meri mutthi mein
Taveez mein hai tasveer teri
Uljhi si lakeerein hath mein hain
Tu suljhaaye takdeer meri.

Jab waqt karega chhal mujhse
Takdeer khafa ho jayegi
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna

Meri rooh karegi fariyad
Meri saasein kahin kho jayengi
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna
Tab bhi tu mere sang rehna

*

Well, I find the song as good as the movie, simply like a poem, beautiful and something which touches your soul and wraps its arms around it to comfort you with something you have never had.

PS: Participate if you like this concept, or else simply tune in to this