Tag Archives: struggle

Helpless.

I feel helpless today.

So helpless,

As helpless as I haven’t felt in a long time.

As helpless, as I think I can never feel.

The epitome of helplessness.

And yet, I feel this can go on,

On and on for quite a while.

And yet I feel that I can feel even more helpless.

But what could be more than this, I wonder?

Because, this what I feel today, is beyond my ways of expressions.

This what I feel today is beyond my perception,

This is beyond me.

And yet I know not, what to do. And yet I know not how much more helpless can I feel.

Because this feels more than enough,

More than what I thought I could take.

 

I thought I am doing my best

But even the best seems less than the best.

Nothing seems to be working,

Everything keeps coming,

And I feel helpless.

 

I thought I could take it,

I thought I could do something,

But now, depite all the efforts,

I feel helpless.

 

I feel as helpless as I would have felt in

Drowning into that ocean,

Without knowing how to swim.

Peace or being right?

Sometimes, you keep struggling what you don’t need struggling for.

Sometimes, you keep fighting what you don’t need fighting for.

And sometimes, you keep trying when in reality you don’t need to be trying at all.

In actuality you might be doing everything in vain, rejecting your peace and instead dealing with all of unnecessary thoughts.

May be all you need is peace and not keep fighting for something which is beyond you.

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Just like her.

People usually have role-model, whose footsteps they wish to follow, like whom they want to become one day, on whom they write essay in school stating why they want to become like them, why according to them they are so perfect.

I for one never had a role model. I am sorry but I never did. Instead all throughout I knew that there was one person that I would try and avoid being. Why? How? Please don’t ask but I know that I never wanted to end up like her, nor do I want to now.

And so began the quest of not being like her. But then how much can a person change herself? The more I try not being like her, the more I find that I am the exact replica of her, the good, and the bad everything has been inherited from her. I am just the spitting image that I thought I never would be.

And then again the struggle starts of not being like her. But how long can this go? And what about not changing yourself? But then what about not being like her?

The bed box

She was sitting on this dim corner of the cave, very peaceful, not even caring that she had lost her way, and that she was away from the company that she had entered with. The place was unnervingly silent, and the cool setting was a bit too much for her to take. Still, she sat there motionless and tranquil not thinking about the consequences. She knew someone would ultimately find her. She was also aware that subconsciously she wanted no one to discover her, and stay completely lost in her own world, hidden away from everything else.

That is when I woke up, realising that I was sleeping inside the bed box- the extra bed that the hotel provided. With that dream ending unexpectedly I could only hope for someone to come and push the bed box inside the bed and let me just sleep and to know that if she is eventually able to stay away from everything?