Tag Archives: woman

I Am!

I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes—
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live—like vapours tossed
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;
Even the dearest that I loved the best
Are strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below—above the vaulted sky.
John Clare.
Unknown
If you have known me for a while, you’ll know that I fall in love very easily, and even more easily when the person I fall in love with, writes so beautifully, (or the thing that I fall for is such a wonderful poem) expresses so wonderfully, almost speaks what I want to speak without even having to say it. So after my love for Kamala Das, Sylvia Plath, Bronte sisters, Emily Dickinson, Pablo Neruda, (and of course some Urdu poets which I have come to know about very recently) now I have fallen for this very beautiful man/poet John Clare. Yes, he is my new love, and this poem is my very new addiction that I am reading again and again and yet again.
No, I am not cheating on the others, oh come on I could never do that.  I think I just have an open relationship with all my lovelies. 😉

Get ‘Carried’ Away!

I don’t know whether to be proud of it or not, but I do like these women 😉

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Exactly, my point! How long is anyone suppose to wait!

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Why should one?

 

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Of course!! It’s like emotions are out of the question…

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And this one’s my favourite. If I could I’d literally marry myself and save all the trouble 😀

A Woman That You Don’t Desire!

I am a woman.

I am black, I am white,

I am wheatish.

I am a woman beyond colour.

A woman that you don’t desire.

 

I am fierce, I am wild,

I am not feminine, not masculine,

I am a woman, beyond qualities and quantities.

 

I am fat, I am too thin,

I have flappy breasts and heavy thighs,

I am a woman beyond any shape and size.

A woman that you don’t desire.

 

I am emotional, I am sentimental,

I, may be cry a lot,

I am a woman, who speaks her heart out.

 

I am a woman, not a commodity.

I have my own rights and decisions,

I am a woman who owns power.

A woman that you don’t desire.

 

I am beyond pink, beyond the kitchen walls,

I am beyond the dresses that I wear,

I am beyond the qualities that the society wants me to bear.

 

I am self-sufficient, relentless,

I am happy, I am sad.

I am a woman that has in her all.

A woman that you don’t desire.

 

I am a woman that has been smiling,

I am a woman that has been celebrating herself,

Every single day, not only on this women’s day.

 

I am a woman that you have been mistreating,

I am her, whom you have been supressing,

I am a woman who has still always been fighting.

A woman that you don’t desire.

 

I am a woman, you fucking idiot,

I can never be owned, never be chained,

I am a free bird.

 

I am a woman that you are scared of,

I am a woman that you can’t ever celebrate,

I am the women you always wanted to destroy.

A woman that you don’t desire.

 

Well, I do not care.

I am a woman of resilience.

I am the woman that can fly,

I am the woman, who pines to reach heights,

A woman that you can’t desire.

 

 

The Last Name Drama

We were just sitting at the tea table, sipping some tea when the conversation began between me and my mother. Of course I don’t remember how it started, but it ended quite abruptly and not in good terms. And I will admit from the beginning that I might not have been the sweetest and the most patient person then.

Watching TV and discussing about God knows what, we started discussing about the name change of a woman post marriage. All I had said till then was that a woman has the right to decide if she wants to take her husband’s name or not. And just then, she blasted. “What do you mean that it is on her to decide? Are you implying that you want to keep your name after marriage? Do you not understand how your in-laws are going to react when they find out about that? They will only think that you never accepted them if you don’t change your name. And what about your husband, how is he going to feel?”

And that is when I broke the spell, and asked her to hold her horses.

“Mom, please calm down, I am not getting married now. And I just said that it is on a woman to decide, I did not say what I am going to do. And after this you have made me realise that it is almost a rule according to you. Not changing name isn’t exactly acceptable.”

“No, no, you don’t want to change your name, don’t change, you handle your new family then, I will not interfere.” And started the emotional drama.

“Yes, I will see what I will have to do then.” And we continued watching TV in silence, and after a while I left the room.

*

I might have over-reacted but she might have too. I was just passing a general comment. I am really not getting married now, and honestly, I haven’t even thought about such things. Just the fact about getting married scares me now, let alone the thought of changing names.

And yes,, I still stand by what I said, it is on her to decide what she wants to do. Anything forcibly is not accepted.

And honestly, just how much trouble we have to go through to change names everywhere, on each and every identity cards, not to forget the social media where we have the trend of having two last names.

Just another angry woman!!!

I am just another angry woman

Who screams and cries pressing a pillow against her mouth.

 

I am just another angry woman

Whose father abounds her in her own house,

Leaving behind no scope for dreams and aspirations.

 

I am just another angry woman

Who screams inside

While her mother can never take her side.

 

I am just another angry woman

Who screams awild

When her brother says she can’t party tonight.

 

I am just another angry woman

Who bites her lips

When her husband tries to wound her soul.

 

I am just another angry woman

Who washes and cleans

While her mother in law goes to a beauty dream.

 

I am just another angry woman

Who completes the school book

While her carefree son goes on to his father’s good books.

 

I am just another angry woman

Who vows to take her daughters side

If only I knew how it would be astride.

I am just another angry woman.

I am just another angry woman.

 

 

The breaking of iron

I am a strong independent woman,

They say, but I do have my own doubts.

You are built of iron, but does it never break?

 

You are self-sufficient,

You don’t need anyone,

But how can I be my own doppelganger?

 

You are a confident woman

They say, but I do have my reservations,

For deep down I am shattering bit by bit

The iron has been hit too hard,

It’s moulding and remoulding,

Losing all its true essence.